I somehow missed the entire autism thread. I am sorry I missed that , I did read it although now it is a little late.
As for this question I am not sure if you are aking if and how we as a community should deal with those you feel are taking advantage of those with adhd or the people with adhd themselves. Kendall
Very interesting thread below about ADHD and autism. There are providers with ADHD who are being taken advantage of everyday by their pimps/handlers ? How should the community such as TER deal with these type of people ?
I somehow missed the entire autism thread. I am sorry I missed that , I did read it although now it is a little late.
As for this question I am not sure if you are aking if and how we as a community should deal with those you feel are taking advantage of those with adhd or the people with adhd themselves. Kendall
if you are someone who sees ADHD as a handicap, a disadvantage or some kind of disability you obviously do not know what ADHD is all about.
Yes as a child it can be disadvantaging mainly because of the way the world works. Its set in one direction, and has many uncertain limitations for a child who sees the world a very different way.
As an adult we have choices, and we are able to redirect our own limitations. It comes with many advantages as well by the way. ADHD balances out its "short comings" if you will, with true blessings. Intelligence, artistic ability, very high IQ sensativity to others, an ability to sense your surroundings in a deeper format. They are not unable to focus, on the contrary...they are over focused.
Do not make the mistake of seeing them as victims, they are survivers! they are strong willful and bright, as well as very talented.
They don't need your pitty, If someone is using ADHD as an excuse to fail in life, even without their ADHD they would still have failed. Its a crutch they are using it as and they are a weak person.
I know many with ADHD including 3 of my own children, as well as myself, and noone is taking advantage of me or my kids. If you are a survivor you will pervail. If you are weak, it has absolutely nothing to do with your ADHD. We all have our pitfalls, NOT allowing them to win is the key to success in your life. ADHD is Not a bad thing, just a different way of doing things.
Read any of Lynn Weiss books on ADHD, shes great. You can start with "ADHD and Creativity"
Or Jeffrey Freeds
"Right brained child Left brained world"
Ron Davis
"The gift of Dyslexia"
David Pelzers
"help yourself"
We can all sit and wollow in Our own issues OR we can use what advantages and Gifts that come with them to flourish and grow and the best person you can be.
There is always a silver lining you have to want to find it. It isn't easy but is there.
edited to correct dyslexic spelling errors. See no victim here...
-- Modified on 7/26/2008 7:29:34 AM
Bravo.... I myserlf am ADHD and 3 of my 4 kids are as the world called them speical needs children. Yes as children the world is a battle but as we age sometimes the world is ours to own. My kids are artisits 2 draw and have sold their artwork, the 3rd was a writer. Me I was never good in school but as I grew older I learned to use it to my advantage and have been prety good at all I have done. So big deal I can't just learn by reading I need to be able to touch. Today I can fix anything. Granted I tend to pace when visiting a lady friend but we are able to contiune our conversations and she has learned how to settle me in, and now we have a routine. In the begining it can be a disadvantage, but over time I have watched my children turn it to their advantage and myself I am able to out work most people cause of it. So what some called a curse in the begining I now know it is a blessing.
I had always thought of my children as being bright and gifted despite their ADD/ADHD.
Now I am begining to wonder if their gifts are as a result of it.
Perspective can change everything.
Exactly Mr Fisher!!!
They are directly related, seriously read some of those books. You will not regret it. To understand ALL aspects of ADHD you will embrace all the true blessings that come with it as well.
It's all about balance, where you lack, you then strive elsewhere.
Hi Nicole ,
I agree that add and adha can in fact be a gift to some and have more of a hinderig affect on others. The school system is setup to teach in a way they feel is affective to the majority .Unfortunetly it sometimes is not all that helpful to some of the children ,particularly those whos thinking is somewhat different to that of the majority.
I agree that add and adha can in fact be something of a misunderstood issue . The other problem as I see it is on a criteria based look into developmental disorders from autism , aspergers , add, pdd, adhd , sensory issues ect is the criteria itself. It doesn't help those who do not understand to understand any better . The system itself has systemic flaws in helping to understand and navigate children, families and the educational systems of these children.
The first part of this is the need for diagnostic criteria as to fit the child/ person into a box . They list a group of different symptoms and if the child has a certain number of those symptoms they fit into the box neatly .They are named/ diagnosed/labled as such . But what of the other children that do not neatly fit into the box? For example , little johnny is having trouble in school , he can't seem to sit still , has trouble transitioning from task to task and is very sensitive to loud noises or even some not so loud. He finds himslf distracted or as nicole has said focusing tremendously on things perhaps the things the class is not , causing little Johnny to not keep up with what the class is working on at that time. Johnny's mom brings him to DR X , Dr Y and Dr Z and they have mom fill out some papers including a multiple choice form standardized to get a feel for what Johnny is experiencing and how that might affect him or his classmates .Clearly Johnny wouldn't be at the Drs office looking into what the heck is going on if he was not having some sort of challenge. Afterward Johnny's mom is told nope not adhd or anything else we have listed here . So she goes home wondering what to do to help Johnny. Ok so this is clealry just one example of what might be incurred by a concerned parent who sees her child needs a little help and is trying to provide just that . She isin fact paying attention in someway or she would be oblivious to the fact Johnny is having trouble at all .Because Johnny doesn't fit into the specific criteria he is left behind the pack because without diagnosis he doesn't get to have any special provisions that might be available to help him had he neatly fit . So what comes of Johnny? Fruustration by both the child and the parents? the teachers? Yes most probably . How is this helping him develop the tool box he needs to move foward and become the survivor you speak of , I am not sure it does. The rigid criteria based expectations of schools as well as Drs and the lack of a place for some of these children to fit into our education system is a huge loss not only to Johnny but also to the family unit , the class and community .
The starting thread of this was a question asking how to help those with adha not get taken advantage of. Nicole was somewhat insulted having delt with this subject in her life and would not like to be thought of as a victim. I can undrestand her pride and and aplaud her intergrity and honesty as well as survival skills, her views on the subject noting her real life experience as her basis for having an opinion . When people who haven't actually personally experienced something such as adhd or any of the many other disorders as they are referred to by the same people who created the criterias .It is difficult regardless of how much they read on the subject to truly get their hands around what it feels like to be someone living with any of these disorders. Perceptions of these disorders are in some cases just that perceptual opinions.
It may be what outsiders see as the answer, affect or solution are not really all that related to the actual disorder at all . Rather their view or opinion based on how they have been raised.In some because they were raised in a patient TV family home others because it was more like the after school special still others fall somewhere in between . Either way our opinions are generally based on what we know and have come to believe threw our experiences to date. Some people believe in spanking maybe they were or weren't spaked others believe that striking a child is completely unacceptable I believe based on how they were raised.
My son has been diagnosed by many dr.s over the years , he is both in special education for helpinthe areas he is weaker in and he is also in a spacel program for cultivating young minds at Johns Hopkins Uninversity for gifted children. The children who come up in the top 5 % of the nation for sciences and math and or reasoning. In his case my son comes up as the top 2% of the nation on all of those areas leaving him both at an advantage as well as a disadvantage in comparison to some of the other children in the country. I do believe the expectation for all of the children to be "well ronded" is a mistake. As adults we do not reqire that we be all that well rounded. In fact we lean towards our strengths and tend to not engage ourselves in things we aren't all that talented at. I personally do this as I do not enjoy participating in those things I am not all that great at. I think the system and expectations of the system are more flawed than either the children or parents . I believe different people learn differently and it would be nice if we could address that issue as I think that would be a more relaistic approach to the problem to teach them in a way they can learn individually , this of course is just one girls opinion ,Kendall
true, it is different, and we all want that quick fix. Truth is, there isn't one. It takes time patience and you need to be involved totally. Its exhausting and frazzles ones nuerves for sure, but in order to show these children how to "reshape" this box to make it work for them rather than against them it starts with you, the parent. You need to look at this differently and as a gift not a curse. Teach them to be proud of their individuality which includes their adhd or whatever. Additude has everything to do with it. Understanding limitations and finding new ways to attain what you are looking for in your goals to use the pluses and accept the minuses for what they are.
Thats like accepting you are short if you are, not moping over it...girl go buy some heels. ADHD is the same just more abstract. You need to reshape what your reality is to your advantage and don't feel sorry for yourself. Take all the blessings and roll with it.
I too have sold my art and published articles and stories, been in advertising and made the most out of my blessings, I used to ask "why me?"
now I know why...I needed to see what its like to raise 3 kids in this world and really know and understand in my heart what they are going through. I get it...I live it. Now I say "thank you!" They have never felt less than anyone else for their ADHD, they don't feel less normal or odd...they know actually they are at an advantage and they are brighter than most, more talented than most and nicer more sensative people than most. To them its a challenge and not a disability.
So Thank God I know what they go through so I can help them understand who thery are and who they can and wil become.
Reguarding school...you need to be in the administrations eyes any way, very involved, and to the poit of being a bitch. Its exhausting and repetative but its a must. Now, since my kids have been in the same school system for , well 12plus yrs with the 3 of them, they know not to cross me and that when it comes to my kids I know whats best and I will get my way. I being one with adhd, knows whats best and school has butted heads with me enough they just don't bother any longer.
As my late wife taught me we have to be the advocate for our children. Battling the school district and searching out programs that best suit our children and allow them to grow into the people we hope they will become. Me I just got by but my kids are smart and talented. 2 of them managed to be the valorvivtorian of their graduating class with full regent diplomas. Yet the doctors told us they would never be able to even get a diploma. Unfortantly my wife did not live to see the fruits of her labor, but she did teach me how to contiune what I needed to do. In the end we as parents have to fight for our children and share their pain as well as their pleasure. I burst with pride at their acomplishments. And in the end like Nicole when my school district saw me coming they knew to just give me what I wanted because in the end I knew what was best for my children and they were only interested in saving money. I have one child left in the district and she is as they say normal but if she is ever in need of a program I now know how to find one and make the school district supply it.
Hi again Nicole,
I actually never actually held issue myself. I worked at DDI = developmental disabilities institute here in New York with the young autism program as well as starting early . The students there are autistic on all spectrums , downs , as well as other issues like pdd , adhd ect., I am a parent child advocate in my school district not just for my child but as a representitive for the parent in the isp meetings ect.and I am very farmiliar with the politics and negotiating my way threw the system. I wish more parents did involve themselves in the process. Part of which I believe is parent education workshops offered most of which are free of charge.
My complaint is more with the difficulty some of these children and their families are faced with getting and having their needs met.
When the starting thread was post and he seemed to ask what can be done to help the first thing I thought of is the children. I feel quite honestly it is hard to bulid a house without a solid foundation. So that is the direction I was gong on it , Sorry to confuse. Have a wonderful night , Kendall
It is tough to get needs met in the system it all boils down to being persistant. We need to never feel like we are at the mercy of, what ever. Rules and implimentations are meant to be bent and broken. We can sway them to the needs of the kids. Much easier than most think. Being involved is key.
I don't know that there are people being taken advantage, but I wouldn't put it passed anyone. The world can be a cruel place.
I do know that there are women with ADHD, and other disorders, who couldn't survive in a regular work environment and are well aware of it. This lifestyle has given them a way to support themselves without tapping into the nation's resources, given them pride and independence and given them financial comfort and stability they would lack otherwise.
One of the many wonderful aspects of our little world that so often go unnoticed.
From the previous thread you said:
"When the problem kid complains asking for mommy well tell him he must continue to do the activity, otherwise he will be left behind. He realizes he can't manipulate us like he does with his parents. The parents are glad that we instill displine. Another parent complained about how his kid lost a lot of weight because of the drug. He found out that spending more time (attention) to the kid was the solution the problems he was having."
I would love to discuss with you the inaccuracy of your recent as well as past statistically based arguments but I notice there is no way to email you. -e