I posted something similar not long ago ("Ring of Fire" thread). Someone thought that using peppermint oil or something like that would be exciting. No thanks.
Some people have actual allergies or sensitivities to various things like that, not just a distaste.
And that thread was followup to a different thread with a couple of stories about having an allergic reaction to prescription medications that clients had used.
Please don't spray cologne on your junk.
It doesn't taste good.
End of story.
Sincerely,
Gagging in Boston
What do you mean don't spray cologne on our junk???
We're trying to make it better for you!!!
Your job is easy and he probably made it easier!!!
You should just be happy instead of complaining!!!
We won't complain anymore.
Up Chuck
Showering, using baby wipes, whatever, but would you like the taste of sweat mixed with my dousing of Burberry Brit Perfume on your tongue?
Take a sip of your cologne, or lick the bottle and tell me what it tastes like.
Helpful tip is all.
to anyone that dared to disagree with her, your post makes perfect sense. To most of us it should go without saying, but there are many guys without commonsense enough to even wipe their ass. These guys might, just maybe get the hint that colgne probably doesn't taste any better than a healthy dose of Chanel down there when that same guy wants to DATY. Let's face it, some guys just aren't too bright. lol
Your tip is valid and your restraint in not flying into a rage at the first disagreement is duly noted.
I know I might be putting my "asshole" standing at risk with this post, but fair is fair. lol
so I don't go off on tyrants or purposely try to piss people off. And I'm posting this as me, not an alias.
Kudos to you for understanding what my point is, rather than assuming I don't shower or have happy hour with dirty, stinky people. 
that there are guys with so little going on upstairs as to think that a woman would actually like the taste of cologne. That fact is reason enough to support your "tip". The fact that you rationally explained your point rather than going on a rant about how stupid men are, just gives you extra points in my book. lol
and to the assholes stupid enough to think that perfuming your junk is a good thing, GROW THE FUCK UP!!! How fucking stupid can you be???
The last paragraph was to show equal time for bashing stupid men as well as stupid women. After all, I try to be an equal opportunity asshole. lol
Colonge (as well as purfume) done properly in that general area can be a good thing --- DONE RIGHT. For ladies who do leave some hair there (you know who you are), a dab of purfume there can be great. I am not there to lick hair down there, though my nose if often there. For guys, put a little on the ole underwear, placed AWAY from the area of operation, so the slight scent remains, but out of the way of the junk. DO NOT use it in place of good hygiene.
I just post the advice here because I know GAG is working on his transition to becoming a metrosexual.
The definition of a White Knight is now anyone who agrees with anything a lady says? Even if she is right??
Even if the response from EthicalTrick was bullshit, and it clearly was, it doesn't detract from the initial message. Given that vixxenkitn felt the need to make the initial post indicates that it is a problem to some degree.
Fuck, I guess now I'm a WK too...
busting GAGambler's chops, not vixxen's. I think her post was fine and even PM's a little advice. But yeah, that does seem to be the definition of a WK and why I am in their number. Welcome aboard friend! LOL
The true white knights are "put in that box" for ALWAYS agreeing with providers, no matter the circumstances. There is a certain element here that can't seem to bring themselves to disagree with a providers position, no matter how unreasonable or asinine that position might be. I would name names, but I think I have already tested the patience of our esteemed moderators enough for one day. rofl
As I said earlier. I only try to bend board policy, not break it.
WK sympathizer. I'll send you a FOWK (Friend of White Knights) membership package in the morning. It comes with a free subscription to "Mangina Monthly Magazine". VERY interesting article on flower arranging this month.
Is that anything like a Nazi sympathizer? Could I be tried by a jury of my peers and have my asshole decoder ring taken away from me for being a WK collaborator? rofl
you guessed my Christmas gift....er....Holiday present to you. (Teaser here, January has an article on "The Top Ten Musts In Manscaping".
To tell the truth, I would rather not have my Christmas stocking stuffed. I would much rater be the one doing the stuffing. lol
Speaking of "The Top Ten Musts In Manscaping". Didn't we just have a thread on that very subject just a few days ago?
"I hate it when clients...." and "I hate in when providers....."
There really is an "us against them" mentality around here as of late, on both sides. The only real difference is, the providers have their white knights to defend their asinine complaints, while on the hobbyist side, it is a rare provider that comes out consistently on the side of the guys. I don't mean this as casting judgement on which side is right or wrong more often, just that there are more guys willing to suck up to the women around here than there are women willing to take the side of the guys against their sister providers.
than there are women willing to take the side of the guys against their sister providers.
OR……GaG…another possible way of viewing this is:
There are more guys around here intent on degrading women than there are women willing to take it without either lashing back or, to save the aggravation, not participating at all.
You’re right; there is an "us against them" mentality around here. And for good reason.
not POed at GaG. just POed in general.
i appreciate the unique risks that a provider undertakes. so i am likely to cut considerable slack. their risks _are_ higher. i am also willing to forgive being set aside TEMPORARILY for a more important client when a favorite needs to do so in order to reach her personal goals.
i am not, however, a suck up. neither am i a doormat. although i apparently have gotten the reputation for being both. some unscrupulous providers have assumed that i can be exploited and have been disappointed. 'nuff said.
i really don't give a diarrheic shit about the alleged "sides".
i insist that my requirements are somewhat unique. therefore my approach to the hobby will also be unique. i do not recommend it to anyone. any approach for me has to satisfy MY requirements and no one else's.
is that clear enough?
What's going on my man? And how can I be of assistance?!!!
For "conduct unbecoming an asshole."
Please walk them off by marching in the quadrangle for 3 hours with your rifle.
Im so enraged I needed a little red face Lol just kidding
I made a nice post, carefully choosing my words as not to offend the wolves here. I got this response along with a bunch of ???? !!!!!
"You make no sense! Is there anything else the hobbyist can do to help you ladies who seem to think this is all way too hard???"
I never said any thing was too hard, I was just making a simple point.
He was rude just for the sake of being rude and I reacted in a distastedful manner. Every other person who responded(2 of which didnt agree with me) I replied kindly.
Sorry you were offended by my post and lets not go back and forth. This is a good post and I dont want to ruin it with bickering.
Now back on track to the original post...
Once I sprayed perfume on my body after the shower and I guess it got on my nipples. My client licked my nipples and said OMG what is that! and ran to the bathroom to wash his mouth with water. I was horrified. He came back and said it was perfume! We laughed it off but seriously every time I see him now he makes sure Im not wearing perfume which I never do any more after that Lol
Ive had cologne in my mouth too and its not nice. Some times if a guy sprays it on his bare chest I can taste it. Usually its not that strong that it bothers me enough to say smething to him.
They just want to be extra fresh for us : )
Having been drunk enough one night to take a mouthful of cologne, thinking it was mouthwash, I can vouch for the rotten taste. I have to agree with the lady on this one! I had a provider actually tell me about this one night. I guess it was a compliment because she said my junk smelled like "nothing at all", just clean. She went on to say that she has had guys splash that crap on there, and she had to go to CBJ because of the taste!
So there ya have it guys. Go in smelling like nothing around the periogenital area! LOL
Cologne doesn't get it, and either does smelling like ASS!
BTW, that thread you mentioned below...wow! I think the OP needs a new alias....like....yourNAWawaits (Nasty Ass Wife) LMAO
Neither have I, but I've heard it's pretty fucking nasty.
i'd never subject anyone to that. smelling is different from tasting. what smells really good and sensual can tast just downright awful.
do the experiment for yourself if you don't believe.
sat⋅ire
1. the use of irony, sarcasm, ridicule, or the like, in exposing, denouncing, or deriding vice, folly, etc.
2. a literary composition, in verse or prose, in which human folly and vice are held up to scorn, derision, or ridicule.
I should have identified the post as a joke first.
I thought that's what you meant, but lately it gets pretty difficult to tell the difference.
The problem with dry wit and/or satire on a forum is that no one can see facial expressions or tone of voice. Thus satire and the like are not really good forms to use as joking around on forums. Some people can see it that way and some see it as playing it straight.
b-
-- Modified on 12/1/2009 1:08:44 PM
Thank you for clarifying that, I've been trying to explain that to people for years now lol. I don't always see it either, but then we interpret the words of someone else through our current state of mind and emotions, which will most often not be the way that author was feeling at the time of typing the comment
Yes I was told it tasted bad and i have since complied
it would probably burn like hell when placed on the penis or scrotum.
The guy who douses his parts with cologne like that has a high pain threshold and would be a good candidate for advanced positions from the kama sutra.
There is this oil called pheromone oil that is sold at sex toy stores and those "toy par-tays". Applying in the right areas is so sensual and sexy (curve of the neck, behind the knees, in between the mountains of cleavage).
It is so subtly sexy. Purrrrr
You have been here for 2 whole months and you are already calling your client's genitals "junk"?
If you and your clients shower before the festivities you would not have this problem.
Didn't know I needed to be PC
Rewrite: Men, please don't spray cologne on your penis or scrotum. It doesn't taste good.
Am I not allowed to post on this board whether I've used it for 2 months or 2 years?
And yes, I shower, and yes, I ask him to as well and expect him to.
Your post was fine. Junk is a term used a lot.
Hard to believe guys put cologne on their junk and then want their junk sucked. Hopefully, Your tip will get included in the newbie manual so it reaches more guys.
on this board can actually get along on a date!
Between the rants from providers about everything that's wrong with their clients, to the return rants about everything that's wrong with the providers....how TF does anyone get together at all?
OH yes, to the OP. What do you mean you didn't know you had to be PC? That is one of the top priorities here! Now, please adhere to the unwritten laws of the board or kindly quit posting altogether.
Now, was that sarcasm or satire? 
I will brush up on my ghetto. "Junk" That's fine.
My point was that if your client's are dousing themselves with cologne, it is because they are not clean. They are masking their odor.
If they are taking showers and are clean, you would not taste their cologne while consuming their junk.
I will tell the next provider that I want to dine in the junkyard. Lets see what kind of reaction I get.
it's a mutual respect for both parties to be sweaky clean
I was in no way being a moron in my OP. I'm just a sarcastic person by nature. And I would never douche with Chanel before a date. I shower, you shower, we all shower and be happy.
happy, happy, happy
I've read plenty of reviews where the reviewer mentions that the lady offers a shower, and he refuses.
I experienced a gentleman who doused the "area" in cologne and although I didn't have to taste it on his "junk" the fumes alone made me gag and I had to hold my breath while giving him a bbbj.
Some men don't realize that when it comes to cologne, perfume, etc - "a little dab will do ya".
my point exactly. Clean and natural preferred. I've read countless reviews where gentlemen state their preference while dining at the Y, therefore, I thought sharing my personal preference on dining at the P would be beneficial to men and a place for the ladies to share their preferences as well.
Many of us do offer the gent a shower and have difficulty with how to tell him he really needs one when he says he just showered. Some people just aren't that meticulous about their personal care but one would hope they would take a little more time in soaping up twice and pay attention to the crevices more closely before going to see a provider. I promise you that your experience will be so much more enjoyable if you do, nothing worse than smelling or tasting something that makes you want to run and spit or worse lol.
I always start with a shower, even if I've just showered, and it was a short drive. I figure it's a good starting point, and it puts the lady's mind at easy. And, if she really wants to put her mind at easy, she can join me in the shower, and make certain I'm squeaky clean. I just count it all as foreplay, and extremely pleasurable, though I know many ladies spend allot of time on their hair, and don't want to get it wet.
The worst ding that I've gotten was in regard to my 5 o'clock shadow. My electric razor, at the office, did not do a sufficient job, so after the lady and I showered together, she handed me one of her new razors. I was a bit shocked for a moment, but not at all offended. Actually, with me shaving, and her hovering, caressing, stroking, and brushing up against me, while doing some of her preparatory things, it just seemed to add to the GFE.
the taste of cologne or the overwhelming scent of your balls being best friends with your asshole hmmmmmmmm lol luckily 99.9% of my guy pals are shower lovers WOOHOOOOOOOOOOO
standing in line behind the perfume lady. My eyes were watering, choking, gagging, fighting for one more breath... meanwhile the haughty b*tch... I mean "lady" was totally oblivious to my plight. Holy Chemical Weapons, I thought I was under attack!! I dropped my packages & bolted for fresh air...
skb
I posted something similar not long ago ("Ring of Fire" thread). Someone thought that using peppermint oil or something like that would be exciting. No thanks.
Some people have actual allergies or sensitivities to various things like that, not just a distaste.
And that thread was followup to a different thread with a couple of stories about having an allergic reaction to prescription medications that clients had used.
Aphrodisiac Foods close to a woman, just rub your genitals with one or all of the following.
Guaranteed to produce ohhs and ahhs
Aniseed
Asparagus
Almond
Arugula
Avocado
Bananas
Basil (sweet basil)
Broccoli Rabe (And Other Mustard Greens)
Chocolate
Carrots
Coffee
Coriander (Cilantro seed)
Fennel
Figs
Garlic
Ginger
Honey
licorice
Mustard
Nutmeg
Oysters
Pine Nuts
Pineapple
Raspberries and Strawberries.
Truffles
Vanilla
Wine
some people do have allergies, so it's a good idea to check it out with the lady before you do so.
I certainly do not recommend rubbing oysters on your nuts.
Allergies are not a joke, but even if you were to eat something that the provider was allergic to prior to the date, she might have a terrible reaction. Food allergies are getting as important to our society as pathogens.
Therefore, please give your date a menu of items you would like to ingest, feed to her, rub all over, etc.
Now back to your regularly scheduled program.
98% of my clients take a shower at the beginning of our meeting.
Ask and you shall receive.
Good luck!
Xoxo,
Giamarie
ASKING ASKING ASKING!!!!!!!
Dear Vix:
Every time that I go to a provider's residence I always have my Adidas bag. Inside of the bag I have a towel,washcloth and some soap. When I get in they always ask me what I have and I tell them. Then they always tell me that I don't have to do that but I always come prepared. But what you are also telling the hobbyist at large is if you don't smell and do your best then I can't do my best. Would this also be a public service reminder since this would be national Aids day as well? I am sure you would give an above average fellatio but the clients wouldn't know because that vicinity is extremely repulsive and offensive.
I'll remember not to do that....not that it ever crossed my mind before.