why do so many guys want and expect their significant other to have a threesome with another girl but refuse to do the same for her by giving her a threeway with another guy? isn't it only fair to give her one if she gives him one? whenever the. Subject has come up i have heard excuses like "you like girls too and i don't like guys." i am curious how people in the hobby feel about this.
egos. Guys do not want to be shown up or out done by another guy during sex. Also some guys think it is a little "gay" to be so close to another guys dick during sex. Then you have those that are territorial over their woman. But another guys might have a different perspective from mine.
I also think that some guys don't want to have to see their woman with another man and I can understand that. What I don't understand is why some think that their woman should be OK with having to see their man with another woman if he is not willing to do the same for her.
with a girlfriend who asked me if I had any fantasies that she might be willing to fulfill. She actually asked one of her friends about it but the other gal had a boyfriend at the time who wouldn't approve.
I go with the one penis rule myself. I am not remotely Bi, seems to me more women are OK with both genders.
I am going to hold on to that double standard women have plenty, less and less blowjobs as time goes by is a big one.
what's up with the less and less blow jobs as time goes by? i have heard many men say that.
I agree, what IS up with that?
Most civvie gals make you wait a bit, and then fuck like porn stars for a while and then slowly start to taper off. The wife had me down to three times a month and would BJ a bit but wouldn't let me DATY.
I always figured if you were willing to do it to get a man, you should do it to KEEP him.
They lied
If you don't want to do a FFM then don't fucking do it no matter what some man thinks you "should" do. If we go down this path then we might as well all become hermaphrodites because apparently the only "fair" sexual encounter will be ones where each person can perform all the same acts on each other.
...and having fragile egos. Those that are secure in who they are more likely to be open to sharing.
which means by definition I am "sharing" my lady, but that doesn't mean I want to look at another hairy ass in bed with us.
It's just how I am wired I suppose, I don't have issues with guys who enjoy it, just count me out personally.
and I agree it's not really my thing either, however, if I was in a LTR and this was a fantasy of my SO, then I would be open to it.
I agree with the OP and absolutely hate double standards. So, if she was willing to do a FMF for me, then I better be able to do a MFM for her.
Presuming you're right (a big presumption because it ignores reality--lots of men AND women make choices based on other things than fear), then so what? In this irreducibly intimate act it seems to me adults can use any criteria they want in choosing how to participate. Just as a woman can choose not to do FFM or greek or CIM so can a man choose to not engage in certain acts. And her or his motives may be as inscrutable as they are irrelevant. Questioning motives in this context seems to me one short step from shaming. If you're ok with that please let me know how I can shame every woman I meet hereafter into letting me do anything I want so as to prove she's a real woman.
I agree with you it is about choice and no one should be forced or shamed into doing anything they are not comfortable with. Not sure where I was questioning anyone's motives. It is my opinion only that it takes a man that is secure in his manhood to participate in a three way with another male.
"shame every woman I meet hereafter into letting me do anything I want so as to prove she's a real woman."
Some guys will do this anyway and throw in the threat of a bad review if it's not done.
Should a guy who doesn't want to do cunnilingus try it or do it more than once as an incentive to his partner to do blow jobs? Or vice versa? We do read about trends among teenagers where the young women are performing blow jobs at a much higher rate than they're having their pussies eaten.
It's simple--we do what appeals to us based on desire and need. However if we are now to subscribe to your notion that the only reason someone isn't doing something I want them to is because of some misguided, narrow minded failure of imagination, if a lady simply doesn't desire to engage in FFM how do you suggest I shame her into doing it? And have you any guidance on how I can browbeat her into CIM, anal, BBFS and any other activities she simply has no desire to engage in?
But if my girl said that was a fantasy, I would give it a shot to please her. Pleasure is a two way street.
If a guy doesn't like guys, it's much more difficult for him to get through the experience. It's uncomfortable for him.
Kind of like buying Christmas gifts. If you can afford something much more expensive, but he can't… you can't expect him to buy you a $300 gift just because you bought him a $300 gift.
Same goes here. He can't 'afford' a MFM experience because he doesn't feel comfortable with males. You can afford a FMF experience because you are comfortable with females.
Now here's the catch. If he's DEMANDING a $300 Christmas gift, (FMF experience,) and you don't want to do it/it's not in your budget, (even if you can afford it,) then that's just rude.
A little further, if you don't want to do something, you shouldn't have to do it just because you like it. If you offer to do FMF, but use that as leverage to get him to do something he's uncomfortable with in bed, that's not right. No one should have to do something they don't want to do in the sack. I wouldn't push it too much.
Not sure if that made sense, lol
and put me in the "one penis to a bed" camp.
and I certainly agree that it is just rude and selfish to ask HER to go along with a threesome that she doesn't want, and not be willing to return the favor.
I kind of like threesomes, but I would never do a MFM, so I would never DEMAND my lady share our bed unless she was 100% into it herself.
Funny, I dated a provider not too long back who routinely did threesomes at work. One night, her, me and several of the girls she worked with were hanging around drinking and eating and one of the other girls mentioned having a threesome with us, My GF immediately said NEVER WITH BOYFRIEND, only with customer, which put an end to that fantasy. lol FWIW, I respected her view and I never brought it up the rest of the time we were together, especially as I knew that she hated pretending to be bi during threesomes and only put on the act when she had to because we all do things we don't like at work.
and one last thing, your post made perfect sense.
Rude? If she doesn't want a FFM, then leave it alone, same as you would leave it alone if the guy simply said "I just don't want to do it".
The big deal here is just don't do something you feel uncomfortable about no matter what. If you end up feeling like crap even if it made someone else happy, it is not worth it.
Ask a question, the other person is either going to say yes or no. Once the answer is given leave it be.
I think this whole thing boils down to stereotypes.
For women: The stereotype is that women who hook up with other women (simply making out or more) are more attractive to the majority of men. This is why so many women will do this when they do not consider themselves bi. It is for the approval of men.
For men: The stereotype is that if a man shares his woman with another man that he is somehow inferior. I suppose in this case it is deemed that the woman is his property. No man wants to feel inferior to another man...as if he cannot satisfy his woman single-handedly.
I, personally, do not agree with these stereotypes. However, I do see a grain of truth reflected in them. To each his own.
That said, today I will be trying my first MFM. Looking forward to it, but the "F" is not my SO nor that of the other "M." There will be no further details.
Somehow it is one of those things that turns of and I don't think even Viagra will help
I'm in the NYC area... and I have a small bevy of beauties into this..
Just curious because I love meeting new gals who are into it.
I can imagine doing either FMF or MFM. Actually, in my mind I would be more comfortable with MFM. I like seeing my partner have pleasure and since women's capacity for multi-orgasms means she has more endurance than I do. I have enough to handle keeping one woman at a time satisfied, two might be too much to handle. Maybe a FFM, with my partner in the middle.
The double standard on judging women's behavior is shockingly still prevalent among most men.
Guys often can't imagine their SO's dumping them for another woman, but can easily imagine being dumped for another guy with a longer or thicker cock who might be better in the sack. So they are less threatened by another woman than by another man. The best defense a woman has to her SO bugging her about having another woman join them is to say, "OK, but only after we have a MFM threesome first." Most guys will back down.
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Ego: The point is made regarding the fragile male ego. In a competitive world, guys want to be "winners", and not "loosers". The fear may be that Johnson #2 will be better, faster, harder, stronger, than the junk they have. If you have an ego on the edge, seeing someone else get their partner off better than they had in the past, might push you over the edge.
Homophobia: No surprise there. Just the thought of seeing another male's erect organ might make you quit your big macho job and take up scrap booking and start watching the Lifetime channel 24/7. And Lord forbid that you should accidental make contact with it, because that leads to immediate transmission of Queer Cooties.
In memory of the recently departed, dear, sweet London R. (whom I will miss to no end), there is a saying from NOLA that bears repeating: "What ever boils your crawfish, Darlin'".
I agree with you on the fairness issue. There SHOULD be equality but that sure ain't the case. Me personally, I only want to focus on the lady that is sharing her time with me as we both try and make the experience between us the most memorable one. With me, her memory may involving lots of laughing and smiling. And I'm good with that since "fun" should be the #1 priority in life
I won't repeat last week's excellent responses to the charge of homophobia except to note that your response shows shallow thinking. By your logic anytime an adult chooses not to participate in an activity there must be a bad motive. Don't like CIM? What's wrong with you? Don't do anal? You're a misguided prude. Won't fuck my two friends while I watch? Gee you must be a real neanderthal. No BBFS? You're clearly some sort of miscreant.
As for what constitutes equality once again your own logic defeats you. If everything in the bedroom MUST be equal then every time hereafter that you fuck a lady you MUST allow her to tap your anus with a strap on. Of course the fact that you may not want that to happen may make it seem unfair. But in your view of the world of sexual encounters fair and equal are the same thing. I submit to you that they are not. Fair is each party getting what they bargained for, which except in rare cases, will of course be different things.
In this case the answer is usually as simple as "I don't like that" whatever "that" happens to be. In most instances that answer seems to be enough to suffice, but for some reason every time we get into a discussion of sexual preferences "I don't like that" doesn't seem to be a good enough answer for some people.
seems to be the prevailing attitude.
I've said this for years, but I guess it bears repeating. So called "open minded hobbyists, sure can be a narrow minded, judgmental bunch"
And providers seem to get heat for that. Don't do CIM, don't do anal, won't allow gagging etc, sheesh some guys have even suggested finding a new job, that they're not cut out for hooking.
You're right, she just might not like it (with a client or anybody) and that is all she has to say.
A lady--including an SO--should only be doing what she has a desire to do. If she's doing a particular thing that thing in itself should be rewarding enough to merit participating in. And this applies even when money comes into the equation--no one should expect you to do something you really don't like just because they have a white envelope with cash in it. I have been a staunch and frequent defender of a lady's right to choose the activities in which she wants to partake. The same rule must apply to men--we shouldn't HAVE to do a MMF any more than a lady should HAVE to do a FFM.
You also raise a totally false eqivalency. What should be equal (in a perfect world) is that each party equally gets from an encounter exactly what they each want and expect. Using your definition of fair every sexual encounter would have to be repeated in exact reverse in order to achieve fairness. Which means every heterosexual man needs to be prepared to have his lady friend fuck him in the ass with a strapon--just to be "fair".
The situation you describe is more like a mutual "dare" than each party really getting what they want from a sexual encounter. If the only way I can get a FFM session in the future is to agree to a MMF then that suggests to me the lady is only suffering through the former in order to get to the latter--and when the MMF arrives it's my turn for sufferance. Neither party ends up happy.
Adults should freely choose the recreations they want. If a lady really wants to do FFM and a man really wants to do MMF then by all means they should find willing partners and have at it. But the moment we start saying well I did this so now you must do that then this otherwise enjoyable activity becomes coercive.
But I sure wanted to do one with her and her sister. 
Men and women are wired differently. Individuals are different. Guys are insecure and don't want another guy in the mix. Women are insecure and want to keep their guys happy. There's not enough room on the bed for two guys. Take your pick
That's HILARIOUS! I had a totally hot sister-in-law too. Looked like Jen Aniston but with curves. Never hit on her, but sure though about it.
I don't think threesomes involving sisters would work very well, especially if you were married to one. But I would be willing to give it a try!
When it's been discussed, the other party admits she likes girls and I'm grossed out by another dude's body.
End of discussion.
We've done three mff and no mmf to date.
It'd be more interesting if my partner was really into mmf.
That said, we use multiple toys to penetrate every orifice of hers so maybe that's why it hasn't come up.
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but there would be no MM contact. If we just share her it'd be fun, but I also like the idea of watching my SO with another man if she wanted it.....
I would do it for her if she really wanted that experience even though it may be hard for me.
