i have my own beliefs/policies/experiences regarding this but i'm curious as to what others think and practice. the *specific* scenario i'm referring to is the following (please read it carefully before you FLAME!)

- consider a regular (or just someone you've already seen)
- precede the usual date with a "nice" dinner (by her definition)
- not talking "Olive Garden" here! a GOOD restaurant (~$100/per)
- dinner length is reasonable (1-1.5 hrs) ... and NOT 4 hours!
- private session (usual length/rate) is guaranteed to follow


Q: should the man pay for "her time" during dinner in addition to paying for dinner itself? and if so, why?

for example, one argument guys could make is: "she had to eat dinner somewhere somehow anyway! and i was nice enough to pick up the tab!"

as stated above, everything *after* the dinner is to be viewed as a standard arrangement by both parties (the mutually agreed upon, customary and routine exchange) and for the purposes of this illustrative example it should be treated as a separate transaction and not as part of a contractual "dinner package" per se ... (someone get me a lawyer quick!



BTW, this subject has surely come up before. i did do a topic search for "dinner" going back at least 20 pages  (~3 months) but with no results. i didn't have the patience to search back any further (*** TER take note! ***) ... so please excuse any redundancy.

I guess seeing how its a package deal yes.  This whole business is about paying for her time and companionship, if you don't want to pay for that time that she there at a restaurant then why not reserve her for time after you have eaten. Some providers see the dinner date as 2 hours social 2 hours private or however many hours a dinner date is to them.  

As for the whole "well she had to eat anyway" that's true but if you want her to eat with you then you have to pay her for that time.  That's time she could have spent with someone else or by herself relaxing.

I've seen providers post things on their site going as far to say "Many of you have asked if you can just take me shopping, please do realize that my hourly rates do apply then to and you still have to pay me for my time"  One provider I say has rates of 100 ph hr just for a coffee date.

As for paying for the meal isn't that what a gentleman would do for a girlfriend and that is the whole point of a GFE to treat and be treated as GF and BF.  BTW all of this is just IMHO please don't hate me lol

Hmmmmmm....

My thoughts.....

Seems kinda calloused to stick the guy with the dinner bill, as well as a "stiff" fee for her....ahem....time and companionship. It should be negotiable.

The reviews of GFE's have plenty of nice touches to bolster the emotional side, not only the carnal side. DFK, a glass of wine, candles, incense.

In my business, when I take a client to dinner, I pick up the tab. As I see it, We are her clients.

Remember, this is a business arrangement for services.

I just assumed it was my responsibility.  I suppose it could be negotiated beforehand, but speaking personally, I'd be uncomfortable doing so.

I think I'd feel a little ill-used, though, if I simply took a lady shopping, and was then expected to pay for her time.  On the other hand, if we were shopping for items she would use exclusively when she's with me, I'd understand.

I go on many dinner dates, and it never occured to me that the "dinner" part of the date could be Dutch! LOL.

Yes, she does have to eat, but when eating alone, how many $100 meals have you had?  I personally would not spend that kind of money when dining alone.

We are really paying for their time, however spent.  Many providers have a rate for a 4 hour dinner/date that takes the "vertical" time into account at a somewhat reduced rate.  I have even seen sites that state that the rate is predicated on half the time being dinner and the other half "dessert", and that if you wished to spend the full time in your hotel room the rate would be higher.

In my mind the purpose of a dinner/date is to spend some time getting to know the lady you'll be sharing "dessert" with.  For me this usually makes for a far better time during "dessert", and fosters the whole GFE concept.  Just my opinion.

BTW, in or out of the hobby, I have never allowed a lady to pay for dinner when I have asked them to join me.

Great question Singleton! This is really a call on the fence. Personally, I will not pay a provider to eat dinner with me, especially at those rates for the food. I live is San Diego and am unaware of many places with those prices. But, if you want her to break bread with you, be prepared to auntie up. It is her time. If she really wants to eat dinner with you, she wouldn't charge for the time. IMHO of course.

Interesting question. I was about to post the same one when I saw your post, so i guess many of us are puzzling over the same issue.

S0-Why do providers think they should get an all expense+ dinner engagement (or such similar hi payment for an overnight stay). I can see paying 200+ an hour for"la penetration" but to pay that to sit and chat and have someone to dine with no matter how sparkling the conversation--forget it! (The reasonableness of my position is recognized in the common practice of charging less for sensual massage if it is not full service.)

After all, a lawyer, like Johnny Cochran or F Lee Bailey [if he's not disbarred), might expect hundreds of dollars an hour for  defending you in a murder case, but he wouldn't expect  to get that for running a photostat machine--even if he did it to copy  your dossier.

Nevertheless, people can try to charge whatever they want for whatever service or product they offer as long as they're honest in describing the substance and quality of their offereing.(Incidentally,if you'd like to buy a copper engraving of Lincoln  for $100.00,  email me. I'll even pay for shipping, and you need not buy me a dinner. ('Course you can get as many such engravings as you want from your local bank for a penny a piece.


Which reminds me:


Q. Why do the movers and shakers of the world pay for prostitutes when they can have loads of beautiful women for free?
A. So they'll go away when they're done.

Or as some novelist, who's name I can't recall said: "a man needsfive things in life --food, clothing, shelter, pussy and strange pussy."

And, in a different context, he made the following remark, one which  could  aptly be applied to those really high priced escorts who tout their pussys as the holy grail and only entrance to true heaven: "No matter how gorgeou an woman is, you can bet she's boring some guy somewhere."

Bottom line: give me those good ol' $$/hour girls. All cats are black in the dark. (Though an argument can be made for a higher price if it assures that you won't be one on an assembly line, especially when a decrease in volume would result in less risk of an STD.)

A final thought: If prostitution were legal, how would it effevt the price an escort could command? If it were significantly lower, would sex workers REALLY want it legalized?

Can't speak for the politics but took a dinner package once and WOW!  Paid for her time and meal and didn't think twice about it.  And got full value!  We sat next to each other in a booth and her hand never stopped fiddling at my neck or in my lap or guiding my hand onto her lap and up under her skirt.  She rubbed against me and giggled and kissed and whispered in my ear and all the other personal stuff she'd do to a guy she really went for and was having a romantic dinner with.  At one point she undid a few (more) butons on her blouse and flashed me, right there in the restaurant, and don't think that wasn't a Kodak moment.  All in all, it set a great mood for what came after, besides being a highly charged experience in itself.  Don't know if all our ladies treat the dinner portion of the date like this, but mine sure did.  She's out of the business now so I won't give her name, but if others learn anything from this post it's worth the time writing.

How about an appetizer and a drink instead..then skip dinner and go right to dessert.
That's surely a quick, comfortable and better way to break the ice.It can take away some of the uneasyness that follows from the otherwise knock on the door.Also,it is way less expensive and time consuming than the dinner date.

you pay for the lady's company and time. If you choose to spend this time with her in a restaurant, that's your choice. Usually the lady's rate are lower for that sort of things anyway. That makes sense.

Having dinner with a client is not real relaxation for her, no more than when we have business dinner with clients/customers during the course of our business. Even if the food is good, they are not really fun.

During the dinner she has to entertain you, make converstation even if she does not feel like it, listen to your golfing exploits, and arouse you for what's to follow. That's work!

a nice dinner is great, me myself personally I have never had a $100+ dinner, but I would like the opportunity to at least once in my life.  Just as long as I'm making the my guy happy Im comfortable but to be honest a dinner date to me doesn't have to be extravagant.  Instead of getting dressed up and sitting in a stuffy restaurant with stuffy people that are so frigid that if you laugh one octave above a wisper then they stare at you, I would much rater stay in the hotel room....order in something or room service, order a movie and cuddle.  To me its a more comfortable atomosphere, you feel more relaxed and open and youre already in the room in case you start feeling frisky. *smile*

you choose to spend that time is up to you .... dinner, shopping, yadda, yadda, yadda, some providers WILL however allow you to be with them off the clock if you ask them before hand ... so I always ask ... I have had a provider spend time with me at the pool so she could work on her tan prior to going back to the room, I have done dinners this way also, many providers do not charge to meet in the bar before going up ... this is a big YMMV .. so always ask.... hobby safe hobby well hobby all you can be ....

I would NEVER pay for dinner time, but would pickup the tab for the meal.

I really prefer to eat with someone that I am friends with.  If I happen to be a friend of the provider I am seeing some evening, I am often apt to ask her if she is interested in going to dinner either before or after our session.  

In my experience, the question of pay for the dinner hour has never come up.  If the lady wants to take a meal with me, she says so, if she has better things to do (whatever that may be), then she declines.

Of course most of the providers I see are doing well and not trying to turn every minute into a profit-making venture.

Just my opinion and I could be wrong.
Regards,
Loarthan

When on a date with a young lady more likely she will give you a all in all pleasent experience and a lot more for the exchange. Most guys forget to mention if she looked absolutely stunning and was glowing and they had a great time and after you return to the room you got what you paid for. You are paying for satisfaction. Activities or no Activities the young lady time is still valuable. I agree with AngelStar and spinner dinner, shopping, yadda, yadda, yadda that's time she could have spent with someone else or by herself relaxing.



-- Modified on 5/15/2003 11:30:36 AM

First, singleton, I'm sorry if that "Dutch Treat" comment threw you.  It was just a bad attempt at some humor.  But reading the responses to this thread got me to thinking about dates with "vertical" time in general.

By "vertical" time I mean time spent away from the place where the main event might occur, doing something, anything, that is not related to DFK, DATY or any other cherished acronym.

Forgetting about the $$$ for just a moment, my experiences in this hobby have been, without exception, that this time has been well spent, especially on a first "date".  

It doesn't have to be an expensive dinner (as long as you don't go to McDonald's or something).  It could be lunch, a drink, a cup of coffee, bowling (?) - anything and anywhere that the pressures associated with being "horizontal" (like your hotel room) aren't present.  The advantage is that you both get to familiarize yourselves with each other.  She may pick up on something that you particularly enjoy, and utilize this knowledge "horizontally".  And you may discover the same about her.  You may find that you have enough in common to alleviate the anxieties and pressures I go through at the beginning of a date, and the awkwardness of that first moment of the date.  The comfort level of the "date" just gets better.

One provider local to me actually insisted on meeting for half-hour or so prior to our "date" in a diner for coffee, just to make sure that we were compatible, and also, I'm sure, to make ascertain that I wasn't LE.  We spent close to an hour, off the clock as it was, just talking like old friends catching up on stuff.  When we got to the hotel room, we fell into each others arms and proceeded like familiar old friends.  This is what, to me, a 9 rating, "I forgot it was a service", means.  The meeting simply fostered a more GFE atmosphere.

This is one of the reasons I generally enjoy a longer session and dinner dates.  It has worked well for me in terms of increasing my enjoyment of this hobby.

I have many dinner dates ......during big conventions here in San Diego they are requested often. I plan nothing else that evening because I am very spontaneous and like having fun. Usually 4-6 hrs. I enjoy spending time, walking around down town, hitting a couple of bars, listening to music and then having dessert. For me and the way that I live my life this is very special time because I do not date outside of this biz. I feel it leads to a much more erotic evening of flirting, sharing and enjoying evening to the fullest.
I am not a clock watcher (and never will be), as long as what we agreed upon for donation is given to me at the begining of the evening  then it is up to me weather I decide to spend the night. This all depends on how things go. I guarentee one thing that if our date was scheduled for a specific amount of time .....it will be no less then that ...........it could be a lot more.....it just depends YMMV.

kisses & licks........
mara of san diego

...but, IMHO, the entire concept of getting to know one another is that key to how long, Mara, you do spend with a client.  If you didn't have that time to get to know each other, flirt, have a drink, go dancing, share an ice cream float, or whatever, it simply is a "slam, bam thank you ma'am" date more often than not.  

Correct me if I'm wrong.

I often offer dinner before our date, my treat, especially when I meet a new lady.  About half seem to really appreciate it and say yes, and none yet have seemed offended.  Of course if a lady posts a dinner date rate, I would not insult her by offering dinner off the clock.  I would say that my most passionate evenings have been the ones with dinner first (or ending up going out for dinner in the middle).  I had a great time with a lady in San Francisco who insisted on sending down to room service for lunch and buying mine.  She wouldn't take a tip either!  Alas for us, she met a wonderful guy who offered her an alternative to the hobby and she accepted.  Last time I heard from her everything was coming up roses.

I am not sure how to answer ............I am confused with your question? I am thinking that you imply that if it is not a multi hour dinner date, then it must be a "wam bam thank you mama"? For this I will  direct you to my reviews, let me know what you think? I  cherish all of my clients and the quality time we spend together.
kisses & licks.......
mara of San Diego

I certainly don't have any problem paying for dinner and I certainly do paying for the lady's time.  I do, have and will continue to eat with certain ladies but I don't "buy" the dinner package.  Dinner dates usually arise out the relationship and conversations that have taken place during the initial one hour relationship...and usually offered not specifically suggested (sometimes "accepted" on a suggestion that never implies any payment for "company").

It invariably has arisen and taken place because a lady realizes she has a much to gain (in the form of learning or entertainmentor companionship) from my presence and time as she has to offer to me.  It's mutually beneficial.

For me, a longer date is standard.  For my own reasons it's impossible to enjoy just one hour with a lady, so I will book 2 or more, and where possible some "get acquainted" time as well.  I'm sure that many guys are just fine with a shorter date, as I am sure there are many providers who are just as fine with 1 hour or so.  I was just voicing my opinion, and I meant no disrespect to anyone, hobbyist or provider.  I apologize if my post conveyed otherwise.

I have only been on one dinner date (with Mara as a matter of fact) and it was wonderful.  Sitting next to a gorgeous woman in a booth in a nice restaurant, flirting with one another, kissing and fondling each other, holding hands, feeding each other bites of food made me feel like a kid again.  It was the most erotic foreplay I've ever experienced and dessert has never tasted so good (and no, we didn't order dessert off the menu).  I did not mind paying for dinner and her time at all...in some ways it was the best part of the evening.

...ain't dinner.  To each his own.  Some guys like the whole dinner date and "dessert" thing.  They should be happy to pay the lady for her time if that's her deal.  If they balk at paying for dinner and her "table time," then they should skip that part (like I do), and get down to basics, or find a lady who will eat for free.

I've taken providers out to dinner, but on their own time.  If I ask them out, they can say "no" if they don't want to go.  All I'm offering is a meal, and my dubious company.  I don't expect anything in return.  I just want to do something nice for them and enjoy their company in a social setting.  If I want to get laid, I know how much it costs.  My two cents.