Everybody wants to get to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

So, we all want to have closeness, but fear losing our independence.

I'll be the first to admit it's a tricky thing to navigate.

It sure make life interesting though.

It seems the thing that scares men the most about normal relationships is the girl getting to close and threatening his freedom, and the thing that scares girls the most about paid relationships is the guy getting too close and threatening her freedom.

A gross generalization, sure, but maybe we're not so different after all?

-tessen

is that they won't want to pay anymore. The other stuff is just annoying and gives me the unpleasant task of resolving it in some way...always awkward for both of us. No fun.

But, if a client becomes too irritating or intrusive, I have the choice to fire him, ignore him, or tell him to respect my boundaries...all of which I have had to do, many times.

Sometimes clients do stress me out enough that it can interfere with my peace of mind. They are never my best clients money-wise anyway, so it's not a hard decision....a few hundred vs. me being able to focus my energy on my life, my passions...I try not to let people REALLY get under my skin, but it happens more than it should. Clients always want to take 10 times more than you offer them, and you have to take the little indignities in stride and just smile.

Can't speak for the guy's perspective.

BTW, not much longer......

Alone and free are the same. Whether your freedom is tainted by your loneliness is your deal.
Committed is caged, whether your cage is gilded or not. We all fall into these 2 (or 4) categories. The difference is us is how we deal with them.

I had an exchange with mrfisher.

But, if you care to share what you're indulging in, I'd be more than happy.....

and start making sense? Sorry, Mikey - besides, I know we can't cross-indulge - you'd get busted and I'd throw up!

-- Modified on 1/22/2011 5:58:01 AM

"there is no stability"  Either can decide to move on at a moments notice. Paid is for the convience of both parties and when one gets bored or isn't happy with the agreement they move on. No divorce or binding default clause

As a provider I understand that I could see my friend for a one time deal, a few times and in some cases over 20 years. Either way, I am happy they entered my life, glad we became friends and am always sad when they move on.

I am single and stayed that way so as not to complicate my lifestyle. Getting to close can cause problems and questions I choose not to deal with. Hope we all know our limitations and don't get carried away thinking something is that isn't

Kisses Haley

ALL relationships between a man and a woman are paid for! lol!!!

"I don't pay a girl to have sex with me.  I pay her to leave."

Both the provider and the client have boundaries, and you will read as many threads here about guys worrying about providers crossing boundaries as about the client pushing the provider's boundaries. Like in any relationship there will be one person who is pushing for a little more intimacy, trying to snuggle a bit closer, while the other is holding back.

If it works well, those roles will not be static, and definitely not gender-based, but will vary over time depending on each person's current circumstances, their feelings, and particularly in this world, how they read the other person. The problem arises when one person is always pushing for more than the other is willing to give and that never changes - in P4P as in a "real" relationship, that is not healthy. Needy is stifling at best.

But I definitely do not accept that these roles are static or more common for one gender than the other.

Not to go too psych on y'all, but I am pretty sure that most people here are not that comfortable with real intimacy and openness anyway, so the hobby is safe and comfortable. The guy who is pushing the provider to be all cuddly, talk to him whenever he wants, see him OTC, would run and hide if she replied along the lines of "Okay, hun, you got it, but here is the commitment I want from you in return..." Wait, I wanted more from you, but I did not want to make a commitment to get it!!!

Zig