I was simply going to vanish, but then thought it over and decided after my abhorrent behavior, the least I could do was swallow my pride and attempt some sort of formal apology.

The community here has been nothing but kind, welcoming and helpful and I repaid that with arrogance, aggressiveness and overall dickish-ness.

I want to thank the members and providers here who took the time, sometimes a lot of time, to PM me and try to help me resolve some of my issues. I'm sorry for wasting your efforts.

My last relationship was a spectacular failure, and I came here full of resentment, emotional baggage and hostility and took it out on a community of folks who had done nothing to earn such treatment.

I projected my own insecurities, and anger towards the board in general, and I had no right to do so.

I deliberately posted hurtful things, I was purposefully malicious, and then feigned ignorance when called out on my bullshit. Repeatedly. I insinuated awful things about the providers in general here, I'm not making excuses, and I am deeply ashamed of my behavior.

It's not who I strive to be as a man or a human being in general.
I hope some sliver of my intent here comes through, I'm not asking for forgiveness, just trying to do something halfway decent here before I go, and once again state how much I regret my attitude and overall demeanor.

I'd like to come back here one day, if I ever get my mind right, and actually be an asset here, instead of the cancer I've become in only a short time.

I've cancelled my VIP membership and will stop posting on the board, and quit hobbying as of now.
I won't be responding to anything on this thread, I feel I said what I came to say.

I still apparently have quite a bit of VIP access still, so if anyone feels the need to PM and tell me to die, I understand, and while I probably won't respond back, you'll have the satisfaction of knowing I got your message.

 
Happy Holidays, stay safe.