because I have had some on-going pain in my jaw.

The NP (female) asks me if my wife is aware of any grinding noise my teeth might  make at night.   I explain to her that it is very unlikely she would be aware of it as she lives 1500 miles away.

She then asks me if there is anyone else who could sleep with me to determine if my teeth are grinding.

I resisted the urge to ask her if she was volunteering (She was kind of cute.), and instead asked if she could write a script for an escort to spend the night with me.  I told her that would be great as Medicare would pick up the tab.

She told me that I ought to be on the stage.

(I wasn't sure if she meant the next stage out of town, however.)