I am not sure who told guys that they will get brownie points for sending this in a first message, but stop it!! It is cringe. Serious. I would say it is on par with being on match.com and sending in the first message that you want to get married. Just no. I don't know you. I have never met you. You are also going off a crafted marketing ad and pics. I am sure there have been guys that after our first appointment realized I am not their cup of tea. This is OK. To send in a first message that you want to book with me every Monday from 2 pm to 3 pm before we have even had a first date (yes, I have had this request!!) is just eye ball rolling delusional. Just like you have no clue that match.com person is going to be your forever mate, you have no clue you are going to connect (or she is going to connect with you!!) with a provider. Slow down....be rational....and enjoy the time for what it is. Be in the reality, not the fantasy. It is better for everyone involved!!
It just happens.
The first date leads to the second. If the second is as good as the first, it will result in the third. And so on down the line, ad infinitum.
You are correct to deduce that a guy who would say he wants to be a regular in his initial contact with you without ever meeting you is full of shit.
Tbh, there are times when I am 15-20 minutes into a first date (i.e. already into the physicality) and have determined I would def see her again, but that is after the greeting at the door, walking in, settling in with some convo and seeing her naked. lol. I don't have any clue as to why someone would suggest a second meeting, or more, before EVER meeting.
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If any guys here have done so, I would love to hear the reasoning behind it.
One time a new add popped up from a touring provider. She was beyond hot and sexy in her pics. She was perfection, a real life barbie doll. She didn't have reviews and required a deposit so my scam alarm was going off, but she was just too hot to pass up. I did some research. I found her social media, OnlyFans account and escort ad in her home country. I was able to use her OF account to verify some details and she seemed real and legit. I knew if everything worked out I would want to see her multiple times. She was just that hot and her OF videos made it clear she could fuck like a champ. When I reached out she said she rarely toured in my area and was only in town for a few days. I told her over text that if we had a good time that our relationship could be very rewarding for the both of us. I got to the Hotel room and was immediately pleased. She was definitely real and we had an amazing time. We fucked like rabbits. I booked her the next day for a multi-hour appointment and had an even better time. I booked one more appointment two days later on her last day in town. She wasn't going to be around long so I wanted to get as much of her as I could before she left the country. She ended up coming back to town like 3 years later and I booked her again. By this time she had many glowing reviews on TER.
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At this point, I know what I want and what I am looking for. I have become pretty good getting an idea of what a provider is like from their ad, social media, OF and other available information. I have also become very picky. Rates have gone way up so my standards have gone way up. I am no longer booking anyone to scratch an itch or try something out. I hold out for the best of the best. While I don't repeat with everyone, I only book with someone if I get the feeling there is potential for becoming a regular. If a provider checks off enough boxes I feel confident booking with them. In my past I would want to see as many different girls as possible but at these days my preference is to see fewer ladies multiple times.
It's cringy, maybe even creepy, but poignant and a little sad. Great tribute to your reputation, but unfortunately, one needs so much more for happy relationships....
Thanks for the perspective and balance.
pb
I'm not surprised and pretty sure I've seen similar types of posts by mongers on the boards. But it does seem to be something of that Men are from Mars and Women from Venus. The women are conducting business so will always (well, most will, there is always the BSC elements) start with a purely rational, transactional approach. The guys, on the other hand, start from an emotional and chemical impulse where rationality see too often pushed to the side.
Great reminder, not just about first contacts, that those who fail to control their impulses and get lost in the fantasy or the game here will often make choices or take actions they will later regret.
I would change the last bit, you can be in the fantasy between entering and exit but on either side rationality will serve you better.
Look, I have an ATF that I see almost every week - and I absolutely get lost in the sauce when I'm with her. But the first time I saw her I had no idea if she would even be my cup of tea. It was likely our third session before I came to the conclusion that I was absolutely going to become a regular, and that's only after we built a fair amount of chemistry in such a short time.
Before any initial session, I do fantasize about what could be - but pictures and bios can only really tell you so much. You never really know until you know. I just follow standard rules of engagement and come across as respectful and enthusiastic, and it seems to work well for me. I still haven't even told my ATF that I want to be a regular - I just keep booking her lol.
But the main point of this is it's absolutely OK to get lost in the fantasy during a session. IMHO, that is part of the service being provided. I'm an exceedingly average looking man who gets to have sex with absolutely gorgeous women - that only connects for me when viewed as fantasy. But I keep those notions to the session and remind myself that it's all a transaction once it's time to pull my pants up.
I agree that it seems to be inappropriate when initiating contact. It seems like more of an "In Search Of" screening request. Sort of:
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"ISO: I am looking for someone who is available and open to meeting regularly. **I want to be a regular.** If you only tour my location for 1 week every other year, please do not reply to my ISO. If you know that you do not want to see the same person on a regular basis, do not reply to my ISO. If you ARE at least open to keeping a regular on your schedule, please reply and THEN we'll see if the chemistry works out."
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I think he's doing his screening backwards. But maybe he'll get lucky and at least find someone who is open to the "regular schedule" idea and THEN figure out the chemistry during set up or even at the first meeting. Or, as others have said, don't bring up the "regular" subject at all UNTIL the first meeting.
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Delaying the request also saves possible embarrassment:
Provider: How about coming back next Tuesday.
Client: Eh, errr, uh ...
P: I thought you wanted to be regular. I've set aside all of my Tuesdays for you.
C: Eh, errr, uh ... that tattoo gives me the creeps. And your boobs are a turnoff. And you've got a weird body odor. And your BJ technique is pretty terrible. And ... And ... But other than that, you're great! I was just a little premature about asking to be a regular. ... Maybe some other time. I'm outta here!
I am not sure who told guys that they will get brownie points for sending this in a first message, but stop it!! It is cringe. Serious. I would say it is on par with being on match.com and sending in the first message that you want to get married. Just no. I don't know you. I have never met you. You are also going off a crafted marketing ad and pics. I am sure there have been guys that after our first appointment realized I am not their cup of tea. This is OK. To send in a first message that you want to book with me every Monday from 2 pm to 3 pm before we have even had a first date (yes, I have had this request!!) is just eye ball rolling delusional. Just like you have no clue that match.com person is going to be your forever mate, you have no clue you are going to connect (or she is going to connect with you!!) with a provider. Slow down....be rational....and enjoy the time for what it is. Be in the reality, not the fantasy. It is better for everyone involved!!
You should pass out aspirin with that post...oooof! No, the dude thought he was bringing the mail with his offer to be a regular hoping to get a discount for the "bulk" purchase or to get VIP treatment because he though he had some real flex. I'm with the previous poster...rookie move at best, maybe just a dumbass who hasn't figured out how the zoo operates.
Not sure about yours, but I have actually seen a provider state on her website that if you would like a regular arrangement, contact her for further details. Presumably because she might offer a better rate that results in a lower per hour price.
At least he didn't try to negotiate your rates, which are super reasonable BTW.
I get the cringe, but I see an opportunity for fun. I would fuck with him. Make him jump through slightly more screening hoops. Enough to maybe annoy him but maybe not stop him. Then, after he jumps through that hoop, tell him that since he is seeking something longterm and wants to be a regular, you require a 2 hour social date first. He needs to pay for your time and dinner. Spin it like this is what a girlfried would require, so to make it true GFE, he needs to court you first. No sex until you get to know each other. It will likely drive him mad.
That sounds like a great idea...cross paths with someone who may be deranged and fuck with him. Bring him in close so he knows your face and maybe he even gets emotionally attached, drag him along and then play him like a cat with your laser pointer. Ha, what could go wrong?!?!?!
For a guy who acts tough often, you really went full pussy with this response.
you suggest to a provider who meets strangers all of the time, in her home, to torment some asshole for amusement? Obviously, she's smarter than that but apparently you are not.
change his username and alias here because he was doxed by a provider, you seem awfully cavalier about provoking someone else that could do you that same kind of harm.
Has this guy lost his virginity yet? Beginning to wonder.
TS reviews he has written are legit, so I don't know if you even have to question whether he saw the females he has reviewed in order to know he is not a virgin.
Not important.
-- Modified on 9/25/2025 10:57:41 PM
Why would you do this? What has this guy done to her beside being a little bit too enthusiastic?
Why do you want to waste this guys time? He hasn't scammed anyone. He hasn't hurt anyone. He hasn't really done anything wrong as a customer.
I get Scarlet's concerns, but your suggestion is bad, hehits. If Scarlet thinks the guy is sus and she won't see him it's her call, but to fuck with him??? Man come on. What has he done???
I thought you were sympathetic to fellow mongers.
I've met a couple of local providers that were saying things like, "you can be my regular" before we were even undressed. That didn't work out with either of them beyond a single meeting.
Just pointing out that it's not just desperate johns that do this silly shit.
I haven't had exactly what you described, but it does remind me of a few providers I have been with who in the middle of a session would talk about what they would do next time in an effort to encourage me to come back. And all I could think of is, what the fuck next time? If they want a next time, don't do less and sell me on next time being better. Do that shit the first time and hope you hook me.
I wanted to add a comment to this thread that I forgot about. In all the years I have been doing this I have found guys who send "I want to be a regular" in the first message fall into two categories:
A: They book one appointment with me and they are completely enamored with me and spend the entire date planning all of the things we are going to be doing together for the next 5 years and they never end up booking again.
B: They never book an appointment at all.
If they have ulterior motives for saying this or are just in fantasy land one thing is for sure: I have never, as in never ever, had a guy say this in a first message and actually become a consistent client. Actions always speak louder than words and saying this in a first message is just lip service 100% of time, at least in my experience.
She told me she gets the same "I want to be a reg" from guys before ever meeting as well. Her take as to why some do this, was that in some weird way, the gent may think the verification process may be easier/quicker.
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IOW, if he gets her to think he could become a regular, she would much more likely to return his request faster and possibly overlook something he was intentionally leaving out of her list of verification needs. She was just speculating as to why a guy might go down that very odd path but I found it an interesting and plausible take nonetheless.
I’ll C U when I C U…no need for the clingy “I wanna be your regular “ line
Just don't tell them I'll C U in an ICU.
They might get the wrong idea 