If a hobbyist does his research, he should know exactly whats on the menu. that's the whole, or at least the main reason for TER

^^^

as the previous guy said, READ the REVIEWS, thats what they're there for.  You have to be a VIP member of course to get the full scoop, but honestly with the money you pay for PS, its worth doing the one time annual fee IMHO, then you get a years worth of fantastic info and resources and takes nearly the guesswork out of deciding who you want to spend time w and what they do.  Look for multiple reviews from mult ppl and consistency in ratings and comments.

I'm probably not as seasoned as most of the guys here, but these are really good questions. When you look on a lady's website, you sometimes see phrases like, "Sexual acts are never to be discussed," then when you're with her, she'll ask, "What do you like?" or "What do you want?" Being on the shy side, that's when I go into instant "Brianfreeze." If I'm quick enough, I can beat her to it, and ask first, but that can be awkward, too. I try to feel it out, and go with the flow. So far, I haven't been smacked. I see some of the things other guys write in their reviews that I could never bring myself to say to a lady. I just find them crude.

I've had some ladies take the donation into the bathroom with them, and some just thumb through it right there. Still others never even touch it until it's time to go. Ladies I've seen before, generally just put in in their purses.

Okay, I think I'm done rambling now.

I start with reviews and typically a lady doesn't have to be around very long before the real her will show up in the reviews.  I don't have all the problems you seem to be struggling with in regards to the financial end as I don't see women who don't have a posted rate for a set time on their site.  The last thing I am going to do is go into a date with a bunch of extra cash on me anyway, so if you don't have rates posted and reviews to let me know what happens during that length of session then I am going to pass.

As far as the envelope, I would prefer guys are less hung up on it and a woman could feel ok with just checking when I give it to her. I want her fully into our time and not wondering whats in the envelope, but I read reviews where men are aghast if she even looks at the outside of the envelope.

Since we've met

I found that you were very open to talking about what your like and what you offered. That said, most people depend on reviews, but I tend to be a planner. While you have to build a certain level of trust, I start the first time I send someone an e-mail (I think this is the best way) and in it, I ask for permission to "speak" freely, but only after she has checked me out and knows that I am the real deal. Some ladies will offer a telephone chat and to be safe, I don't cross any lines unless she says something that let's me know it's okay... Start by being explicit about what you DON'T do, because most of us, aren't looking for the exotic and the crazy fetishes (to each his own). That being said, I know you go beyond the traditional massage and if I were you, I'd feel each guy out on a case-by-case basis... Hobbyists while not monolithic in our approach to your care, want different things at different times. Some ladies engender the freak in me and well some are there to get me off and out... it really depends. Now,  having been in your loving arms, I think most of your suitors are in for a real treat... but that's just me.

Honestly , you need to check before the appt starts. Figure out the best way to do it without being rude.  

 I have heard too many ladies say the guy ripped them off, or shorted them..and its simply not right, especially for multiple hour appts.

 Just dont have them hand it to you, and dont count it out in front of them.

I have to say this is a good topic.  I give my handle to a provider so they can check my reviews, know I'm real & what my likes are.  I've been taken aback but a provider who asks "What do you want?"  After explaining GFE in advance.  Clearly they're not attempting to keep callers straight.  
I guess us shy guys, need to be prepared with an answer that makes sense.

Re: Question for you 'SEASONED' Hobbyist

Although I am not a Hobbyist, seasoned or otherwise,  I will offer my opinion for what it's worth.

Reviews are there so that we ladies do not HAVE TO discuss anything remotely illegal in our e-mails or phone calls, and the men get an idea what they can expect. I love how this works out for both parties.

The gentlemen wanting to see you should be able to read the reviews, and also ask for b/c information if your reviewers have listed their handle and/or e-mail address, and have their questions answered there.

You should be able to state your expectations regarding a donation on your website, thus avoiding having to discuss that as well!

As far as the envelope goes, many ladies do it differently, and many men feel differently about how the transaction is handled.

I generally do not see very many men and am usually quite convinced they are trustworthy by the time we make a date via my verification and research on whom I am meeting.


I have heard of new girls being "shorted" on occasion, either by accident or intent- and the fact that many guys think it is somehow rude for a girl to check the envelope causes some issues for those that want to create a warm, friendly GFE session.

To avoid any discomfort on either side, you can mention that you prefer new friends to leave the envelope with their nice gift for you on the bathroom sink upon their arrival. This way the option is there to excuse yourself to the bathroom momentarily to check the contents prior to any activity.

xoxo
Kim

If a lady doesn't have reliable reviews, I'm unlikely to "TOFTT" (Take One For The Team) by seeing her unless there is something special that pushes my buttons.  I don't have a typical hourly donation just burning a hole in my pocket, whimpering "Spend me now, dammit!".

I'm willing to provide some basic information as part of screening, I have local references, I've joined up with P411, and I've got an established presence on the TER message boards.  I'm perfectly cognizant of the risks a lady is taking, and I'll do my bit to minimize them (while protecting myself as well).  In return, I expect to see either a reasonable attempt to provide information on her part, or the aforementioned reliable reviews, or something to compensate me for the risk of fraud, like an "introductory special rate", or a connection with someone who is a trustworthy part of the local scene, such as either a reputable agency or partnering with a reputable independent.

I expect her to have done her research, and to ask rates that are comparable to what others are asking for similar service.  In the DC/Baltimore region, FBSM service is typically $200/hour or less; if her asking price is $300 for an hour, I am going to expect a full-service experience.  If she won't tell me how much her hourly rate is until we meet in person... I won't book, as that smells like a setup to me.  I feel like I've gone out on a limb somewhat by offering up my screening information, my references, and registering with a service; she needs to be willing to work with me a little, and give some information.  It doesn't have to be explicit enough to qualify as a letter to Penthouse, but being excessivle vague makes me suspicious that I might be reading an ad for a "Oh, you're just paying for my time, and if you want to do anything illegal, I'm going to skedaddle with the money right now" scam.

I generally assume that the rate listed in a provider's ad is her active one.  If I find another one listed somewhere, I'll ask about which rate is the current one, and let her know where I found it.  I don't mind her checking the envelope, although I'd prefer she didn't make a big scene of it, and doing it while one or the other of us is in the bathroom is a gracious touch, I think.