Re:Question for the ladies:

no one has responded yet so i will and will keep it short
i think that although your experience with insensitive women has left  you disapointed,fearful and hurt, there are some providers who are kind enough to listen and give you the tenderness that you deserve (like the nice one you found). Maybe it's hit and miss. I have seen guys that have difficulty,maybe not for the same reason, and I try to be as accomodating and patient as possible but it can become frusterating and sometimes make me feel like maybe I'm not "enough". Perhaps that girl was just a bitch but maybe she felt embarrased or insecure?
 Wouldn't it be nice to find a woman that you can make love with and enjoy, not because there is money or obligation involved but because your real feelings and her real feelings are present? When you have that, maybe you will never have to worry about this again. You sound like a very sweet, kind man and I wish you luck

A sad experience for you and not uncommon for the male performance factor when long terms of deprivement are endured or ones malehood feels under attack.  Many women in this profession which is more the rule started young and act as the stereotype media and other forums has created.  To do this with genuine compassion for safeguarding men's sometimes rather fragile ego takes further education in humaning functioning or searching compassion to understand that we all are unique and different and can't be nicely peg into a pre-fabed mould.  It apppears from the posts from the female gender here they are well educated, and trying to be sensitive to their clients needs.  May I offer another possible answer for hardware that turns into software.  Hopefully the women here know why this occurs and it usually has nothing to do with us, but what some other female has put this guy through, medical,etc.  Guys if your with a women who is receptive just pleasure her.  Anyone that has done this for awhile should know how to warm you up.  Besides it is'nt about us getting satisfied it is for you we are here to please.  Your encounter sounded as if she was pissed because she wasn't going to get any--serves her right
you weren't there for her she was suppose to be there for you.  I'm glad you found someone who was caring. Although when a client  derives his pleasure from pleasuring me it is all encompassing.