A married man--who is separated--dates and then lives with a single lady. Both are middle aged. Married man (who lives with this single lady) goes to buy a Xmas gift for single lady--and buys the SAME perfume for her that his WIFE prefers. Was he pining for the wife again? Is this the only brand of perfume he is familiar with and likes? Is this to mind-fuck the single lady, and see if she will get jealous? What? Opinions, please.
Liked the smell? Can't really tell the difference so went with the sipmlest choice?
Men are pretty simple about this kinds of stuff- don't overthink it
I had a lady friend (civvie- just a friend) who liked Carolina Herrera- i loved the smell- gave it to my SO and my mom. I liked the smell- it did not make me horny baby.
SO hates it. mom loves it.
Oh well.
Guys are not totally tuned in on scents- smells they can tell apart.
We obviously don't know the whole story here, but personally I wouldn't read too much into it. Perhaps he as acquired a liking for that particular brand, or perhaps he is unfamiliar with what to buy (there are hundreds of options), and he just figures that if this brand is preferred by somebody he knows, than it probably will be appreciated by another lady.
He's pretty thoughtless. Can't he be focused enough on the lady to have a sense of what she likes? He's probably not deliberately mind-fucking her, but he's an idiot if he doesn't anticipate that it'll mind fuck her if she finds out it's the wife's perfume.
In addition to my dirtytalk salon for providers, soon to open, I offer lessons to fellow guys in how to buy presents for women that will make them happy and make the guy look good. Bring money. Start with link.
Have you asked him about this? Communication is key, and never more so than when you are involved with someone whose marriage is ending.
Be careful when you ask, though...since it's been 4 months, he's likely to be defensive if he thinks you're offended because that's supposed to be the kind of thing you bring up right away. Well, okay, not while the wrapping paper is still in your hand, but within a day or two. A lot of guys in his position may even have forgotten that gift by now. So bring it up gently.
One of the things I learned in my own divorce was that men often seek a nurturing relationship to help them through a terrible period in their lives. (This is not to say that it's not meant to last, but if he's still going through the divorce, there are bound to be unprocessed emotions that can get in the way of a new romance.)
Many men are overwhelmed by the gift-giving process. The simple solution (perfume) turns out not to be such a simple solution after all when he faces the 8 kiosks and 16 sales girls at the mall-side entrance of every major department store. Ever see the Carl's Junior commercial with the guy in the bread aisle, totally incapable of deciding which kind of bread to buy? ("If it wasn't for us, some guys would starve.") Carl could make a gozillion dollars selling a scent called "The Sixty Dollar Perfume."
Getting back to the communication thing: Pick a favorite perfume and make it your signature scent for him. Make sure he notices, make sure he likes it, and then make sure he knows what it is. Whenever you wear it, invite him to kiss wherever you apply it...neck, wrists, between your breasts, behind your ears. Then tell him you like smelling good for him RIGHT THERE, and that you like what (INSERT BRAND NAME) does to him.
It should take him less than 4 months to get the hint.
This happened to our Mom, and we were shocked as we knew he was pretty slick and a good con man; so, we assumed he would be waaaay too smart to buy her the same perfume as his wife. Guess not. Goes to show you even the slickest guy can be a clod at times. Thank God Mom dumped his butt when she found out who he really was a few months after Xmas. Great answers, guys. Thanks.
.. I have never met a man devious enough, clever enough, or with enough psychic energy to even TRY to mind fuck a women he is involved with. Lie?? maybe. Exaggerate?? Maybe. Argue?? Maybe. But mind fuck??
There are too many better things to do:
there might be something good on TV, I'm feeling horny, maybe there is a movie or a play in town that is interesting, The Sox are playing NY tonight, ...
Enough women play the mind games and drive everyone else crazy, including other women.
I love you men because you are so straightforward.
If you're cranky, it's because of the traffic, your job, or because your favorite team lost. It's not because of hormones, or that you're worried your best buddy thinks you're fat. LOL.
Thank you, guys (and thanks to the women who are straightforward too.)
don't assume. Ask her what she likes. However, a gift is a gift. She will appreciate your effort. The only problem is what if she's allergic to the perfume of your choice? Casually ask her beforehand about things she likes which will, in turn, make her think that you care about what she's intersted in. Personally, I have allergies so it's hard for me to smell anything I'm wearing. I'll wear a particular perfume if a man likes it, but I also have my favorites too.
Clearly this story is much deeper. The perfume reminds him of Burt, his cross-dressing truck driver friend, who introduced him to this scent while he was traveling I-80. Since then, this guy has been obsessed with this scent, spraying it on everyone who he meets. Secretly, this guy spends hours at home watching Smokey and the Bandit and plays with his bulldog who he named Burt Jr. (AKA BJ). Dumping his wife was the first step towards trying to locate Burt so he may spend the rest of his life traveling I-80, honking and blowing.
Than again, perhaps I'm reading too much into this.
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