Been giving a good bit of attention to striving for excellence in my vocation (customer service, planning, quality, etc) as well as in my personal life (health, finances, attitude, etc).

It is always so impressive to deal with an organization or people who are "with it" and have their act together and are on top of things.

The best businesses ask for feedback after a transaction, always looking for ways to improve.

But it just dawned on me that I don't believe I've ever had a provider or dancer ask me what I considered their strong or weak points, or how they could improve.

I've experienced some excellent service, but I'm certain I've never been asked these types of questions afterward.  Even the best of us are often blind to little things we could do better.  I specifically think of one recent encounter where there were two simple things the provider could easily have done that would have put the experience on a higher plane.

The other thing is hobbyists could ask a few questions that might be helpful -- for example after DATY, ask how you could improve.

How about it ladies, is asking for input something you ever do?  If so, do you get genuinely helpful input?  If you don't ask, why not?  

Or on the the other hand, has a hobbyist ever asked how he did, at DATY or something?  If so, did you give honest input, or just say they were "fine"?

How about you hobbyists, did a provider ever ask you, or did you wish they'd ask?  

Or did you ever ask the provider how you did - DATY or whatever?

Seems to me we could pursue excellence in this area, too. Or am I all wet?

I don't know about the provider, but I would never fake it... I can usually tell if a woman enjoys my DATY 'cause, I do other things that ensure the trip. As for me, when I drop the load, you are going to know how well I fared... no questions needed. Now the notion of wanting to improve is a good one, but customer service being what it is today and the lack of civility among the people's of this planet, you are asking for a bit much... Is NQNS (no quit, no spit) a form of what you would deem custserv? The average provider while very professional usually does not even thank you for coming over.

Please, this is not intended as a gripe, complaint, or anything like that.  It is only an observation that so many of the posts (over the last few months in particular) don't seem to portray this world of our hobby the way I have experienced it.

I am hard pressed to think of the last Lady I have seen who DIDN'T make me feel truly welcome and thank me for coming to see her.  This is just a small thing, but symptomatic of a lot of things that are described in recent months that seem foreign to me.

Why is that?

All the women I have seen lately, especially one who I now see regularly, are extremely thankful and exchange dialogue with me over ways we both can improve the experience for each other, etc. When it comes to DATY, they always tell me exactly how they like it...heck, they want to get off too, and no two women are the same in terms of the technique they prefer.

However, I can understand why some of the women might not want to discuss their strengths and weaknesses...afraid we are going to ask them to do things they are comfortable with and don't want to answer. It can turn a session into "negative" territory. In turn, they probably prefer not to discuss our strengths and weaknesses...the true GFEs almost never are critical, only praising us to fulfill the fantasy and only wanting to please us. Guess it might take a few sessions to get provider to "open up"...a certain comfort level may need to be reached for total honesty.

"the true GFEs almost never are critical, only praising us to fulfill the fantasy and only wanting to please us."

Perhaps I'm different?
I always want to know if there is anything that I can do to make my visitors enjoy their time more... down to the smallest details.  How is the temperature?  More of this?  Less of that?  Would you mind if I...
I consider myself a true GFE.  I disagree that I am only wanting to please you, my experience is as important to me as yours.

I do not sell fantasy unless it is a very specific request.  Reality can blow away the grandest of fantasies.

Oh, it all becomes alphabet soup at some point...

some lawyers are better at jury selection), some guys are better at getting what they want, through assertiveness, and some guys don't even know what they really want, and some are better at bringing the lady to new heights, which improves the experience for all concerned. In other words, the male is just as much a part of the equation as the female.

One of my two ATFs (they've never met as far as I know) is truly bi. A couple of months ago she asked about including a girlfriend and making it a three-way. The price was very reasonable and I jumped at the opportunity.

During the course of the procedings the girlfriend went down on my ATF and turned her into screaming jelly in about two minutes flat. Now, I thought I knew what I was doing when DATY but I learned a lot from watching up close and said as much.

Girlfriend said, "What did you learn?"

I said, "It's in the rhythm" and elaborated.

Girlfriend said, "You WERE watching."

I then proceeded to apply what I had learned to girfriend, although I will admit that it took me longer than two minutes to achieve the same result.

Some skills are too subtle to learn from a critique. You just have to have them demonstrated. There is no replacement for watching an expert. (And porn movies are almost useless in this case. They are doing it for the camera and not for each other.)

-- Modified on 6/17/2004 12:58:22 PM

Read in Playboy years ago, you can never start too soft or too slow.

Teasing is pleasing.

Pay attention to what they say and how they react. While certain things are generally pleasing, each woman is unique. Pay attention to what the woman you are with is responding to.

Then practice.

I completely agree that communication gets easier with each successive visit (or at least it should).

can do for her .... and if there is anything she can maybe teach me so I can improve ..... but usually I leave them speachless ...

lickerguy wrote:

"The best businesses ask for feedback after a transaction, always looking for ways to improve."

This is why, against my own best instincts I like and value my reviews.  I read between the lines of even my best reviews for clues on how to improve.  But, part of the nature of being an escort is that the time we spend together is supposed to be transitory.  That's why I'm not comfortable with this sort of approach in terms of e-mail or phone conversations after the experience.

In terms of communicating immediately after the session, well, I still kind of balk at that.  It's like "Hey, that was great. Now, why don't you critique my performance.  Then, I'll critique yours.  Wanna?"  

I do understand what you are saying and I do think that most of us are always looking for feedback subtle or otherwise.  We want you to be having what you want to have and good communication is key.  But sometimes words ruin things.  They take away the mystery and the hands on physical process of getting to know someone.  But perhaps that is not how an escort should be thinking.  It's just that I don't want to deconstruct the unique experience we just had together.  

"It's just that I don't want to deconstruct the unique experience we just had together."

That says it all for me.  The review may be part of the process, but the rest can be accomplished by awareness in your choices and adapting each experience to the person you are seeing.



-- Modified on 6/18/2004 9:59:58 AM

So good for you, Salivate! It's amazing how many people don't make the connection that how they treat people often effects the treatment they receive in return. Men that constantly make comments about how providers treat them only like a wallet, or that their service was impersonal etc... well those comments often make me wonder how they treat their provider. Such personal contact does not happen in a vacuum. When I see YMMV, that's what I think of. Different people will get different levels of enthusiasm in their service because it's an energy exchange between people. Not everyone has the same energy or chemistry together...so the same service can and does feel very different from client to client.
The fact that you have had great experiences lately with classy women, does say that you are taking care in who you choose to spend your time with. More importantly it tells me that you are a gentleman who knows how to treat a lady. We need a few guys like you to teach seminars!
Oh, and just to answer the original thread question, sometimes I do ask clients at the end of the session how they thought it went, what would have made it more enjoyable etc... I have rarely gotten any useful answers. I think many clients feel if there was something that could have made it better they are afraid to say so, thinking that honesty in this case is not the best policy. I have gotten a few honest answers though, and when I get them I can implement any appropriate changes which makes me a better provider, so thank you for those that have done so! Kisses. Octavia.

Ah, perhaps I didn't communicate so well in my original post?

I appreciate everyone's input, but wonder if maybe I didn't express myself clearly.

I'm approaching this with sincerity and humility -- the only way that seems reasonable to me when asking advice.  My intention is not to be negative, but rather upbuilding and encouraging.

As such, I'm sure we've all at one time or another said (or been told) things such as, "That feels great!" or "It is amazing how you do that!" or similar such genuine compliments.  Sometimes body language or other wordless audible expressions communicate clearly.  These voluntary responses surely must be valuable to the listener. They provide assurance that you're pressing the right buttons and your efforts are being appreciated.

My thought about asking advice later is merely an extension of that.  In the tender warm glow afterward, what would be more natural than asking with a warm smile, "Did you enjoy yourself?"  Following an affirmative response, perhaps one could ask, "What did you like best?"  It seems to me the reply to that question would naturally be encouraging and affirming since it focuses on the best and highest.  If that were the case, surely it might be safe to ask, "Got any advice on how I could improve even more?"

Naturally every one of us is different, so we could expect differing opinions on things. But perhaps if we meet again, and if we could remember the conversation, we might take each other's preferences into account. And if we repeatedly, from several people, hear the same input regarding highlights, we can be confident we are achieving excellence in that area. On the other hand, if we repeatedly hear the same possible area for improvement, if we sincerely want excellence, we would apply ourselves in that area.

I have to agree with greatrush’s response that said something to the effect that customer service "implies that someone cares." Probably there are some people in our circle who don't care about anything except their own selfish gratification. However I've read enough here to know that for many, many of you that is not how it is - you care about how you treat each other. As I read the posts, I sense a desire for greater civility and consideration, and for excellence.  For certain excellence is rewarded.

Regarding the question from greatrush about whether NQNS is a form of what I would deem customer service, I wasn’t particularly meaning that we insist on things that aren’t offered.  I am more interested in the excellence of what is offered.

Salivate’s post touched on a pertinent aspect.  It is likely that more comfortable communication results in repeated contact. Perhaps it often takes a few sessions for people to more naturally “open up.”  Yet the best salesmen have learned skills to put people at ease and help them feel comfortable quite soon. Very soon you begin to feel like they are someone you can rely on, someone who has your best interests in mind, someone whose advice will be sincere.  Couldn’t all of us learn enough of these skills that by the end of a session we all can “open up” comfortably? Isn’t this part of the pursuit of excellence?

I like SolaLove’s attitude. I predict this one will go far, regardless of her field of activity!  Ah, yeah, that alphabet soup....

I agree with hrnyguy that both male and female are part of the equation. That is why in my original post I applied the pursuit of excellence to both.

I’m sure the experience Mathesar described was wonderful!  Not only did he observe, he learned and applied it.  The pursuit of excellence in fulfillment!

I don’t entirely agree with SirPrize’s comment that if you have to ask, you weren’t so great. People vary in how much or how clearly they communicate. Sometimes you simply have to ask to make sure you understand.  On the other hand, if I wasn’t so great, an honest question and its honest answer will point me in the right direction.  I do agree 100% with his comments that one needs to pay attention to others’ responses.  I also agree that people vary, and that starting softly and slowly as well as teasing is good. Couldn’t this be the kind of helpful advice one might receive in the warm glow afterward, if one asked.

As far as spinner39, until I reach the pinnacle he’s achieved, I’ll do like he does and continue to ask if there is any thing special I can do, or how I might improve. I still consider myself to be a student of life and hopefully always will be.  I’m still pursuing excellence...maybe someday I’ll achieve it?

I also appreciate LilyJune’s comments and MrSelfDestruct’s thoughts. I don’t think we want to deconstruct the wonderful experience.  Maybe we simply need to find more gracious ways of communicating in the spirit of encouraging each other to greater and higher excellence.

To each of you, thanks! May you ever be a lover of excellence...and may excellence be your reward!

Thanks for words of support. Yes, I'm very selective but once I decide who I would like to see, I put a great deal of effort into giving as much as I could ever expect to receive. And I'm not talking about just the physical aspects. This includes open, honest communication in the hope the provider will do the same. Often it happens the first meeting, sometimes it can take longer to move to total reality. First meetings are often a feeling out process. That's why I like multi-hours so we can get comfortable with each other and by the end of evening our exchanges are like boy and girfriend. Can't imagine achieving all I've written in a one-hour session.