I've been meaning to write this for awhile.  Some humor but some truth.  
   
 The importance of using good language if you're doing PSE, or even GFE to your clients:  
   
 NEVER use medical words/terms like: penis, vagina, coitus, intercourse, fellatio, cunnilingus, semen, sperm, labia, testicles, breasts, ejaculate, ejaculation, cervix, erect, anus etc.  
   
 "Ooh baby, insert your penis between my labia and into my vagina now and ejaculate your semen all over my cervix!  Then perform cunnilingus on me and I will fellate your phallus and testicles!  The idea of your erection in my anus just titillates me!"    
   
 If that thrills you then you spend more time in a library than fucking.  I'm not kidding when I asked one provider to give me porn star talk to help me blow it on her tits and she started saying something like "Give me your sperm!"  My sperm?  Are you fucking kidding me?  Well missy, I had the plumbing turned off awhile ago but even if I didn't, I don't want to be thinking about blasting out some little baby swimmers on the field.  Please!  
   
 DON'T use juvenile terms: goo, spoo, pee-pee, hoo-hoo, baby-batter, va-jay-jay, cum dumpster, schlong, kitty-cat, tough guy, baby lisp language, etc.  
   
 "Ooh baby, youw such a tough guy.  Snookie, inject youw baby-batter in my hoo-hoo now!  Den I want to suck you pee-pee tiw it bwows."  
   
 If the idea of 3 year olds getting nasty thrills you then, eww.  You both should just kill yourselves now.  
   
 DO use typical porn star words: fuck, cum, hard, tits, ass, cunt, cock, balls, suck, blow your load, pussy, eat me, etc.  
   
 "Ooh baby!  I want your cum in my pussy!  On my face!  My tits!  My ass!  Fuck me hard with that huge cock of yours!  Come on baby, shoot it all over me!  I want it NOW!"  
   
 Whew!  Excuse me while I go beat off in the john just thinking of that last one.  
   
 This has been a public service announcement.  Carry on with more important things.