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I Know Her Real Nameconfused_smile
sexyshiloh See my TER Reviews 2159 reads
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“I Know Her REAL Name…” If I had a penny for every time I heard this statement. It’s usually followed either by silence to get a reaction... (wait for it...wait for it) OR by personal information about the provider. Sometimes a story or two are shared to “PROVE” that he really does know her real name. Example: “We took our kids to the park. Can you believe that?

My question has nothing to do with whether a provider chooses to step outside of the boundaries or not. Listen, I get it. Sometimes there is natural chemistry with some individuals regardless of how they met. At the same time, I do not appreciate a hobbyist disclosing a provider’s personal life to me. That’s when I say…”I do not want to know. It’s none of my business.”

So…please help me to understand…what exactly is the message that a hobbyist is trying to convey when he makes such a statement? I'd like to hear from provider's and gents.
My first reaction is one of apprehension…”Oh no, this guy is on a mission to obtain my info as well.” After all, why do I need to know that he knows her name?

What is the psychology behind knowing her real name?
1. Yes! I get to be her friend on facebook!
2. Yes! I am now her “advisor” and will protect her.
3. Yes! She loves me but won't admit it.
4. Yes! Free sex! Free extended visits.
5. Yes! Now I REALLY know her. I’m sure her family/friends know her real name and yet may not even know about her profession.

Until then....

Why hobbyists are talking to providers about other providers. Dont they have better things to do when they are with you? Real name, fake name, whatever. I just find it strange that it would be a topic of conversation during a paid session.

if you take her out for a dinner date, a trip, go shopping with her, especially someplace where she goes by her real name it is a practical to know it. other people she knows will call her by her real name, it is best that you not do a double take then. if you are buying an airline ticket i don't think that a stage name and an eros ad as a photo ID is a winning combination. ;-) knowing each other's real name need not be a boundary crossing issue. it is sometimes a practical necessity.

I know some providers' real names and other information. Like you said sometimes it is necessary when travelling together etc. Sometimes they are just comfortable with you. But Shiloh's question is why when guys do know a provider's real name, they decide they have to share it with other providers. I wouldnt do that and had no clue it was so common for other guys to do that, but she is not the first provider to mention that.

about randomly sharing a provider's personal information with other providers. that's simply abysmal and classless. i had no clue it was common either and so i didn't catch on.

i know some ladies who are sufficiently close that they already know each other's names. in that case when discussing arrangements it sometimes gets confusing who exactly you are talking about in making arrangements. ;-)

i wouldn't share personal info either.

One time a provider I see a lot, I was giving her a ride to the store &, we got pulled over by the police. She got nervous, and started telling me her whole name, and birthday as the officer was walking up to my car. Funny thing was the police officer didn't even bother asking who she was.

We laughed about afterward.  I still call her by her provider name, and have never mention her real name.

RE "I still call her by her provider name, and have never mention her real name. "

I do too!
It's more fun to continue to call a provider friend by the provider name you first came to know!

What's the big fucking deal? So a hooker gives a guy her real name. Stop the presses!

I've known many lady's real names in the few years I've been here. So fucking what?

I've flown ladies here on my dime and told them, unless the name on your ID is 'Suzy Cumsalot', you're gonna have a hell of a time getting your ticket, not to mention going thru TSA.

Just sayin'.... ;)

Of course you know some providers' real names and so do I, and Claudius, and scoed, and Phil, and Gambler and a million other hobbyists. But those of us with class (and I include you) don't share that information with others including other providers for no reason. Shiloh's point wasn't about guys knowing real names. It was about guys blabbing that they know "x's" real name.  To me that is stupid and classless, not to mention I have better things to do during a session with a provider than to talk about another provider's real name;)

DA³196 reads


Your name is Massage Parlor correct?  Recently changed to Micro Penis.  :D

Phone numer is 1800-iLoveDudes

Penis size, according to mrfisher, 1/2 inch. Lol

LOL

That's gonna poke your eyes out and skull-fuck you to death, lol!

I know the real info on providers, some I haven't even slept with, and there is even a few I haven't met. Some I knew their real name before I knew they provided. I have never ask for her real yet. If the lady don't wish me to have it, I don't want it.

I do like having it. It puts the relationship on a more even level as I do share my real info with the lady. It makes for a better cover if we get busted. It allows for a real friendship to come about which has happened with two ladies I have seen and has enriched my life.

I also respect the lady's privacy though and understand if she chooses not to share it. Real info is real power. Why else would Facebook and Google make billions in information peddling? Real harm could come do to the indiscretion of others.

Thing is I would never out a ladies real name to those in the hobby and I would never out her provider name to those in her civie circle who may or may not know what she does. I certainly would never go around saying I know the real info of the ladies, I know the real info on other then saying what I have said in this post. Respect for others privacy must be maintained in this game. This goes double with real info.

I feel like posting a hot photo from Sexasian18.com Photo is of Rio Fujisaki.

I don't know if they use stage name other there or not as pron actresses. Just like I do not know if this lady's name is really Tsubomi or not, but it is the name she works under. Photo from sexasain18.com.

Thank you for sharing your comments and for sharing this lovely lady.

Hmm. Maybe he was just star struck or nervous and having bit of diarea of mouth and tryn to ramble . thats odd thing to bring up at an appt huh? weird.

I mean, seriously? Knowing a person's real name ain't really got nothing to do with influencing their power or control over a situation. Have you seen the yellow pages lately? Fuck, I know at least 1 million people by their real name, and that ain't gonna get me anything for free.

What are they seriously gonna do, hire a dang on detective, research and spend countless hours and waste resources on trying to find your identify. When I see those similar statements, I am literally LMAO.

Guys that make those statements have small egos, and they need these things to suppress their insecurity issues. "Wow, I know her real name, I guess we can be friends now, since I only have two friends BTW".

Listen, I had many providers tell me their real name, and guess what? I forget it like 10 or 15 minutes later. Like I care. Shit, not to sound so blunt, but a name don't really mean anything to me, its what I got out of the relationship, or in this case, a session that really counts.

Thank you! That's precisely my point! We are much more profound people than the top layer of the name we were born with.

Shilo,

You ask two quite different questions.  I will address what I see as the easier one first.

“What is the psychology behind knowing her real name?
1. Yes! I get to be her friend on facebook!
2. Yes! I am now her “advisor” and will protect her.
3. Yes! She loves me but won't admit it.
4. Yes! Free sex! Free extended visits.
5. Yes! Now I REALLY know her. I’m sure her family/friends know her real name and yet may not even know about her profession.”

In my cases (and I do know a number of ladies’ real names, home addresses, etc.) the psychology is “none of those”.  It is always her volunteering it (I never ask) as a sign of trust/friendship—and I mean trust/friendship, not love—OR the kind of practical necessity Claudius and others mention.  Airline tickets, we are going to an event in my or her “real world”.  Airline tickets in the post-9/11 world is by far the most common cause in my experience.

It has never been a token that meant free sex, falling in love (OK, one exception there), etc.  The trust/friendship that came BEFORE knowing her name also means we talk about a lot of things that friends talk about, and sometimes I give them advice, sometimes they advise me.  Last week I spent a lot of time on the phone with one lady as she used me for a sounding board before buying a new car.  You make all your options sound so negative.  Not every friendship has evil, ulterior motives behind it.

As to your second issue--a guy blabbing out one lady’s real info to another lady—I find that terribly wrong.  As I said above, knowing a lady’s info is based upon trust, and passing that private information to another lady is violating that trust.  I have always been very careful to never connect a lady’s real name to her working name in front of a third party, man or woman.  Even when the 3rd party says they know her real name I will not unless they use it first—just because someone says they know something does not mean they do.

OldTraveler...thank you for addressing my thread. Perhaps I should've worded the initial question this way: What is the psychology behind a client verbalizing to another provider that he knows his ATF's "real name"?

That was really my question NOT what is the psychology behind knowing the name. However, the responses have helped me to understand. This world has to be taken on a case by case basis because each relationship really is so unique.

Maybe he feels that she allowed him to know it because she trusted him and he wants you to know that you can trust him too. He is trying to show you someone feels he is trustworthy. By telling you though he just blew it didn't he.
He may be amazed that he was able to find it out however he did because there is so much discussion about keeping things discrete. Especially if she told him or otherwise allowed him to find out. So he could be expressing shock that it happened.
He may be simply trying to boost his own ego and make himself look like a wonderful, marvelous guy that you just know is going to rock your world and he's about to make you glad you met him.

I think how he found out her "real" name would help in explaining why he feels compelled to share that he knows it.
Now, does he say he knows her real name and then tell you what it is or does he tell you he knows it but still keeps it to himself.
I know I feel trusted if she tells me her real name. I keep it to myself. I don't go about trying to find out what it is.

who cares?  Honestly, a guy who has that information is now obligated to protect it.   Why would a client get diarrhea mouth?  Either he's trying to convince you that "She trusts me so you should too."  or trying to use "She trusts me" as a reference.
I would flip the conversation:  "She has trusted you, Mr Client.  I have trusted you by admitting you into my location.  If you want to impress me, you should do so by keeping private information to yourself.   Talkative clients make me concerned for my security...  I hope you understand...  "

H

PS This is a good point...

then there are Hobbyist that have been around for years and have tons of reviews with great reps that know my real name and I know there's....neither could care less what the others real name is.
It's the ones that make a big deal of it that will get my fake real name and believe it..this makes them feel special long enough to get done with em!

many guys illusions that they knew your "real" name.

Why guys need to know is a bizarre thing for sure...I prefer your "stage name" as I find that in many cases it is much nicer than a gals "real" name...no really their real name.

Now if she is going to tell me her legal name...that's a whole 'nother name to deal with!

It's ...

OH GOD, OH GOD DON'T STOP GOD ALMIGHTY OH MY GAAAWWWD!

If that ain't her name, I want a damned refund.

Abigail-Van-Buren194 reads

If a guy thinks your post is so witty, he can always click the link to your reviews.

I'm not sure what you mean? I'm fairly new to posting anything. Just had something to say this time. lol

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