Not sure what others think, but one thing I really dont like, and seems to happen often, is that providers start talking about their children.
Sorry, I do not want to hear about it.  Whether it be guilt, or perhaps it 'humanizes' you.  I want you to be a sexual object, there for sensuality, eroticism, forbidden fruit, fantasy, and perhaps, something 'unconventional'.  

To be truthful, I dont like providers talking about their own health (another common occurance) or money woes.  I recently had the experience of some sexy woman sucking on my cock and telling me about an award her kid just won.
Its like trying to build a fire in a rainstorm.

Be sexual, and be all about the pleasure, yours and mine, but please make an effort to keep a lid on the general chit-chat, we all (most) have wives for that.

Couldn't agree more.  Time spent with a provider is generally (at least for me) to get away from reality, indulge a sexual fantasy & focus on the sensuality of being with an "object of my desire".  While I may get flamed for such a statement, it is merely being honest.

So problems of daily life are not a welcome topic, especially before or during the "funtime".

Topics revolving around kids & S.O's are a real turnoff.

Even during the "after" time, I like the topics to be more lighthearted.




-- Modified on 7/10/2007 2:57:03 PM

but I enjoy the personal interaction.

Most of the ladies I have seen are ladies I can call friends, so we are able to converse about our lives to each other.
Being with your fantasy is part of it, but I enjoy knowing the lady I'm with on a different level.
That, one time, slam bam is ok for some, but, I'm looking, and have found, something else.

Just my opinion...
B

I enjoy talking with the lady I am with. I feel more of a personal connection when we can chat a little about our lives.  The session is much more enjoyable to me when we can talk to each other. To me, it's definitely not all about the sex(although I really enjoy that part, too!!).

I'm willing to listen to any personal topic they want to bring up. I treat them like human beings when the time calls for it, so when the time comes for to slake my sexual thirst by objectifing their young nubile bodies, they can do so with a gusto that is quite astonding.

which is marriage to a sexy lady... and we've had kids.... and we watched them grow....

yea... kinda like that... and I too have found ladies that recognize that a HUGE part of my life revolves around my kids... and that it is ok for them to share their kid stories with me as well...  once one of the best sessions I had was with a lady who told me of her problems... going to the principals office about her son! lol!!!  as she had exactly the same issues with the school system that I had about my daughter.... it just was a great sharing.... to learn that others have the same problem...

I totally understand your point of view...it's hard to fantasize about the "mother-of-children".

I'm amazed at how little sensuality providers exhibit in person.  They all know that sexy pics are a must to get the phone ringing, but the once weare in the door it becomes more of an erotic disney ride.
For some guys, that works fine.  Others however leave feeling like they left something behind.  

Every sexual fantasy is unique.  That's why the porn industry continues to crank out material. There's an endless variety of ways to get a guy horny. Providers seem to feel that the parts are greater than the whole.  Give us boobs, a BJ & a release and we're happy.  Few really care whether we are truly satisfied.

On the flip side, the better you get to know a provider, the easier it is to share your fantasy with her.  It's just hard when the meter is running.

I don't mind it when they talk about their kids because it enhances the MILF experience, which I like.  For the last 20 years as my daughters have grown up, I've had to (only) watch a lot of sexy moms in the neighborhoods.  Now that I've found hobbying, I'm making up for lost time with mature providers.  One provider I saw had kids just a bit younger than my kids, and her kids went to a nearby high school.  Personally, I like to make a bit of a personal connection (while staying within boundaries), rather thanit being just an anonymous encounter.

Having said that, there is probably an appropriate and an inappropriate time for that kind of discussion.  That's probably not a good topic to talk about in the heat of the moment, but afterwards, it's kind of a nice way to make a personal connection.

Just my $0.02.

-- Modified on 7/10/2007 5:03:15 PM

I have no problem talking about kids with a provider, but I definitely do NOT want to know about a significant other.  Ladies, if you have one, let him stay in the shadowy background, I don't want to know about him.  Knowing that you are going home to another guy just ruins my fantasy image of you.  That reveals to me that you are not really mine, even if for only an hour.

My .02

Swim

starts with casual conversation, sort of a 'get to know you' with a new provider, or 'catch up' with one I've seen before. Alot of times, this'll last half the session. To me, it's all part of the overall experience.

  With that, I've found that when we 'get comfortable', we sort of change modes, and it's now all about sex.

  We're all different, and a really good provider can easily read where the client is going, and thus make the whole experience more enjoyable.

In my experience, it doesn't make a lot of difference what a provider talks about. If she is interested in what she is talking about, and interested in what I have to say about it, that's great.

In other words, if the conversation has some give and take, and kind of naturally flows between the provider and myself, I enjoy it, regardless of the subject.

I'm in the camp that wants a provider to be a "sexual being", but not a "sexual object."

Don't start telling me about your crazy ex-boyfriend who is threatening to break in and kill you and anyone else that may be there with you.

Honest to God this happened to me many years ago.

It kind of ruined the mood a bit.

...For me, it depends on what I am looking for out of the date.  If I'm there for a "Girl Next Door" fantasy, then I don't want to hear about it.
 On the other hand, I've had a popular Las Vegas provider tell me all about her kids, fiance, and whole life really.  With that situation, it gave me validation in being married with children myself.  It took away any guilt and made it ok that I had needs and she was willing to meet them for me.  What was really funny was that she told me that she told her kids she was a "Casino Hostess"...LOL

I've read the growing discussion with interest.  I think it's true, there are so many different perspectives.  Here's mine:  I don't like you to know about my personal life.  My personal life is mine.  But I've had clients ask "who lives here with you?"  "you live here alone?" "do you have children?"  "what do you do with your children while I'm here?"  etc..
Fielding questions puts me in an uncomfortable situation.  If we were thinking about dating and having a relationship I would eventually reveal more of myself to you, but I don't ask you about your wife, kids, work, or personal life.  
I have often wondered why any of you would care about mine.

I realize that many people have different turn-ons and turn-offs, with regard to conversation.

For me, I like to let my client take the lead with regard to conversation, and see where that takes us. I'm very sensitive and aware of how people react to the things I say... for some, a casual question about their job will elicit a torrent of discussion, whether they are passionate about their work, or whether they need to vent about something. For others, a short reply will indicate to me that the person doesn't wish to talk about work, that he wants to escape that reality. It's very easy to smoothly change the subject to better topics.

Generally, I do not discuss kids or S.O.s, unless the client brings it up first. I realize that just talking about my own family is enough to make a client think about *his*... and maybe he doesn't want to go there.

I guess the idea, for me, is to pay attention and note not only verbal responses, but facial expressions and body language. All of these things count in the art of good conversation.

And while I enjoy (or even insist on) a few minutes of conversation, there is a time when it's good to shut up! Or at least keep any discussion to matters at hand.

As an aside, in the past I've had clients ask whether or not I have children, and then ask, "Well, where is he/she now?" The assumption, of course, is that providers aren't good mothers, and would happily leave their tots home alone (or worse!). My standard response to such rudeness: "Oh, well, he's tied up under the bed right now! After you leave, I'm going to shoot him up full of drugs."

xxxooo
Beverly ;-*

I don't like talking about my ex's (not like I'd want to anyway). I'm different that way. I also don't have children (except my kitty baby), but I'll listen to the man if he wants to talk about his family.  I like to talk about sex.

Hugs,
Ciara

I like finding out how people think and discussions about kids, SOs, etc. are part of that. I really enjoy it when providers are willing to open up about things in their lives that are important to them, especially if they are actually interested in the same from me but I'm not nearly as interested in fantasy as reality.

Telluride, I'm going to have to be the first one on there to agree with you on this one.  There are a lot of topics I like to talk about with a provider during the "after" time, but kids (and family in general) aren't one of them.  To me, an appointment with a provider is about enjoying the unique experience of sex (oops, I meant to say "time and companionship") in the hobby.   Some providers advertise "erotic fantasy services", and I like my appointments to be just that, even if it resembles a date with the girl next door.  Now, don't get me wrong.  I have all the respect in the world for providers; I just prefer not to talk about family during what's supposed to be an erotic fantasy.

-- Modified on 7/11/2007 7:44:16 AM

One time a provider accidentally left a cute school drawing her son had done out on the table in the hotel room. Boy did I ever feel like a heel!! I couldn't get wood after that.

-- Modified on 7/11/2007 1:07:10 PM

I agree, most personal stuff should be left out of the date. Hi How was your day? That should be plenty then let the clothes fly.