Good Morning and a Happy New Year to all!

In recent postings here and on some of the other discussion boards, I have read many comments from both providers and hobbyists on the subject of "the blurring of fantasy/reality", the desire (or need) of the provider to separate and protect her personal life and keep her emotions under control.  While these postings have been very informative and interesting, I have some more direct questions that I'd like to get some takes on from anyone who has had similar experiences with the following:

Q:  What is the desired etiquette when you bump into a provider (or stripper, lingerie model, etc.) unexpectedly in public?  Don't laugh, this has happened to me several times with strippers; I live in a smaller city that has a hugh number of strip joints and sex-related businesses in relation to its' population.  Plus, living in the downtown hub, and frequenting many of the restaurants, clubs, book and music stores, etc., it's not as uncommon as you might think.  Now, for myself, I would feel that discretion is the best policy; I would never think of approaching anyone, at least not without getting some kind of positive reaction from her first.  Sometimes, though, it's unavoidable.  For instance, while visiting an art gallery during our First Thursday monthly festivities, I came face to face with a stripper whom I've seen  perform many times; she kept a legitimate part time gig at that gallery!  Her eyes flashed, and I knew that she recognized me (I've tipped her extremely well in the past).  There's something a little disconcerting about finding yourself in this situation, knowing that earlier that week you were sitting at the Rack, tipping away while this young lovely spread her stuff barely a yard from your face!  I said nothing, and she (understandably?) avoided me like the Plague.  Did she really think that I would've caused a scene?  Another time, years ago while taking a creative writing class at the New School in NYC (before I migrated west  I ran into another stripper there that I knew fairly well.  Turns out that she was a full-time fashion design major.  However, her initial reaction to seeing me there on campus (out of her stripper-identity context) was to react as if I were stalking her or something!  Needless to say, I was not.  It was purely coincidence; I had no idea that she went to school there.  Besides, I was taking only one course there, and I never saw her there again.  However, whenever I saw her dance again, she refused to take tips from me, and seemed to regard me with some suspicion no matter what I said to her.  Providers, what are your thoughts on this?  Which brings me to the next question:

Q: Providers, can you relate any experiences you've had of dating someone whom only knew you from your Personal life, and had no knowledge of your Professional life?  The same question applies for those of you who blend several areas of sex-work.  For example, this city has several large colleges and many students who strip part-time; there's always that old saw going around of not wanting to perform with her professors in the crowd (does this actually happen?).  Has anyone ever unexpectedly run into a coworker, fellow student, uncle, friend (male or female) etc., while working?  How would you handle it?  I'm curious about this, especially after reading Jonathan Kellerman's latest mystery, "Flesh and Blood", wherein the main character, Dr. Alex Deleware, unexpectedly recognizes a former patient   who is now performing as a stripper/prostitute at a stag party he's attending.  I found the scene rather stilted, and I'm wondering how any provider who has found herself in a similar situation has reacted.  Of course, any hobbyists who want to relate stories, please do so as well!  

Any help and insights that anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated!  I know that it might seem like I've got a major voyeuristic jones happening, but actually I'm trying to get a little background research for my own creative writing projects.  And, while I have tried to query the few providers I've personally seen, 1) I've got more immediate physcial matters to attend to , and 2) providers seem to get skittish about someone trying to delve into their personal lives while they are "on the job"!  Yes, that great irony: a provider can be naked in front of you and perform the most intimate sexual acts, but will not expose her true self.  And now, we come full circle to the previous discussions regarding "the blurring of fantasy with reality".  

Thanks, all, for listening.  I look forward to hearing from you!

I use to live up in Alameda, CA.  Worked for an Investment Corp. Buying and Selling real estate for a private Corp.  I worked on a few city programs, any ways.  There was an Adult Resort that was right on the outside of Oakland Airport called The Edgewater West.  A swinger group I belonged to, and met there once a month.  Normally about 250 people would attend.  I have been attending this group for over a year.  My girlfriend and male partner were there dancing at the party and we were topless and touching and kissing. (which is a norm there with everyone else)  I turned around and bumped into one of the board members of a Loan company that I worked with all the time. Here I was topless, another woman with her hands all over me and I bump into a man that I talk to and work with and have for a least 3 years.  I stood there and just stared at him and for a little while.  He started laughing and kissed my cheek and said Nice to see you Red.  Now this man never called me Red and has always called me by my first name.  He knew my friends called me Red but he never did.  I turned around, all most bolted, with a terror that I have not felt before.  My Girlfriend knew who he was when she heard me say his name.  She grabbed me real fast and made me walk with her.  We went to the Hotel room and I was in a state of shock.  Here is a man that I do business with, am on a few city boards with.  My girlfriend then said that he was here for the same reason as we all were and that there wasn’t any reason for me to upset.  That he was at the party for the same reason that we were.  I took a few shots of bourbon and we went back into the dance and had fun the rest of the evening.  Now at the Edgewater West the hotel is shaped like a horseshoe and the sliding glass doors open up to the pool area and the rec room where the dances are held.  The rule at the Edgewater West is that if the sliding doors are closed but the curtains are open you can watch whatever is going on inside, if the door is open, then you can go in and join if you ask.  Later on that night my girlfriend and male partner were in are room with the curtains open and door open.   A few people were inside watching and others had joined us and the gentleman in question was right beside the bed and he asked my girlfriend if he could join, I didn’t hear this conversation I was busy.  I looked up and he was right there licking and sucking my nipple.  It was an amazing night.  On Monday afternoon he came into my office with a few clients and we just went on like nothing happened.  We never discussed it nor did I ever see him back at the Edgewater West again.  It was Business as usual.

HBO did a filming there about Swinging and I was there also.  I signed a paper not to be filmed or put in any footage of that taping.  But my Girlfriend and are Male partner were featured in it..   That was filmed about 4 yrs ago.  Think the program was Sex Bytes.

I think what this has taught me is that if I run into anyone in public that I know from a not so public place, that I just smile like they are a stranger and walk right on by.  I will never feel that terror again that I felt when I bumped into my business associate.

OH footnote?  Wish there was a place like the Edgewater West down here in Southern CA.  You can see there web site at  http://www.edgewaterwest.com  

RED

If the person is alone and your not having to go out of your way to say hello and they have seen you.  I think it would seem rude if you didn't acknowledge them with a greeting.  On the second question I no longer attempt dating with people who do not know what I do at present.  Past experience was not good with someone who knew what I did.  To try to have a relationship where truths of such nature were kept under wraps and to perpetuate a life to this person and them not know.  A lie I wouldn't want to be apart off.  For now once in a blue moon I will extend an appt or go out with a client beyond our usual time spent together.  Take in a movie, etc.  Those times never involve extended intimacy past affectionate kissing or hugging.  Another preference is usually to spend this extended time with my married patrons.  They are not looking to be unmarried and I'm not trying to find a life mate.  The single gents are to vulnerable and always want to make you a girlfriend/wife.  I would never mislead anyone but the heart can still be hurt and the single gents usually yearn (not always)for permenecy(excuse spelling).  I trek gently through those fields.  Hope this helps and others share their learned experience.

Hugs,
Cheridan