For me, the most liberating experience I've had, sexually, was being with someone who loved and cared about me...ME, and not some hyper-sexual, manicured, over-polite version of myself. I trusted the other person enough to feel completely comfortable, relaxed, and secure with him. THAT is sexually liberating.
Sex work to me can be liberating (more below), but there is NOTHING particularly liberating about, say, giving a guy I don't like a BJ for three hours straight. Or receiving a sudden and unwanted (dry-fingered) poke in the ass, and getting a 'No, let me, it will enhance your pleasure!!!!!' response when you ask the guy to lay off. There is nothing liberating about being treated like a hole, or having somebody condescend to you or mistreat because you are just a hooker...and then, not being able to say anything except - to yourself - 'What a jerk! I will certainly never see him again.' Even when the client is nice, I'm still completely subject to his whims and also to professional standards. That's not always a bad thing (so long as those whims/standards are within my comfort zone), but I do see it as a lack of freedom. I can make decisions about my own body, in terms of whether or not I choose to sell it...but then, I'm immediately confronted with realities like 'If you don't do BBBJ you can't get more than a 7'. Then, once the guy is in the door, I give up most of what remains of my freedom in terms of what might happen to me physically.
To me, what is liberating about sex work has nothing to do with sex, and everything to do with living a life completely outside of societal norms. I do something for which 95% of people would judge me very harshly. I am aware of that judgment, but I don't internalize it. What other people think of escorting and sex work has NOTHING to do with me, the type of person I am, or how I live my life. The tendency to externalize society's opinion, and rely more heavily upon my own perceptions, has extended to other areas of my life.
That's not to say that I brush off others' opinions. Any person's disapproval can be a wake-up call for me, an indicator that I am excusing or indulging myself in some type of behavior that does not benefit me or anybody else. But I definitely don't care as much what others think of me as I used to, before escorting. Also, I more apt to question the status quo, in terms of what some particular group, or society as a whole, finds worthy of approval or disapproval.
-- Modified on 10/17/2015 5:31:35 PM