I don't have any advice, if you are that conflicted, just ask your wife for permission. I think you'll get your answer then. lol

and why would I want to PM you?

You've stated that you're happy. Let it go


BTW; I'm the TWISTED misfit. The rest are simply the supporting cast. LOL

but my advice may not be the best since I am one of those guys who can't keep his dick in his pants
in any relationship...

curiosity killed the cat but at least he died  while getting some fine pussy lol

DA

You didn't have to write a book to ask a simple question.

Howdy everyone,

No one's going to recognize this username, or my IP.  I haven't visited TER for quite a while.  My previous username was retired and wiped from the boards by the admins, at my request, when I decided to finally quit obsessing about prostitutes and seeing them.  Before that, I was a TER member for almost a decade, though for most of that time not much of a participant on these boards.  Some of you might remember me.  A couple of you have met me in person.

I got into hobbying for probably the same reasons most of you did -- boredom, curiosity, some loneliness.  I'm actually pretty good looking (or so I am frequently told by (unpaid) women, and hit on quite a bit by civvies), but I used to be rather shy, so I guess never really sowed the oats I should have as a teenager & college student.  As a result, I guess I got it out later when money could substitute for charm. Anyway, before I 'retired' from hobbying (though I'm not that old -- mid 40's), I basically did it all.  I fell in love, had women fall in love with me.  Had my wife find out, had hookers call my wife to defend me, introduced my wife to various hookers I knew.  I've seen outfits and equipment that would blow your mind, been in gang bangs on film and off, been sucked by the woman with the world record for most BJs in a session, and had every manner of weird things shoved up my ass. I've been in horribly seedy dive brothels in foreign countries, and super upscale silk and champagne suites frequented by Russian mobsters and wayward children of royalty.  I've known women on the clock, off the clock, known their husbands, kids.  I've been cried on and about, and even once cried myself.  I've pimped and pandered and photographed and helped with web sites.  I've been involved with sex worker organizations both for and against prostitution.  I've been counseled, and referred because I was too far outside what the counselor thought he/she could handle because they had never dealt with anyone like me.  But I've never done anything with anyone I suspected of being under 18, or enslaved, never been abusive, never taken unfair advantage of anyone, and always always always paid even sometimes when they tried to refuse, even if it hurt some feelings.  Even the horribly depraved like me have ethics.

Eventually I got bored.  I realized, there's no secret to anything in the business, nothing to achieve beyond the immediate cheap thrill of having someone pretend to like me.  I finally got to know enough people well enough to realize that people are just people and paying them to be friendly is a terrible way to meet them.  Whenever I met someone I really liked, I felt shitty because I wished I could have met them in a legitimate way.  And whenever I met someone I didn't like, obviously, I thought how much a waste of time and money it all was.  I honestly got bored of seeing naked women, no matter how incredibly hot they were, and getting blow jobs, and being seduced.  Finally I couldn't even get it up easily with anyone but my wife.  I went through a period where I hired girls just for the hell of it, to take them to dinner, or get them outside the brothel into the sunshine and chat, or whatever.  And they would sit and smoke with their tits hanging out and we would make small talk and eventually not even that was interesting any more.  I met some super people, incredibly talented interesting people, but so what?  I might as well have watched TV, or a movie, for all the lack of relevant reality.

Blah blah blah...

So here's the deal:  I happen to be right now in a certain foreign town and a couple weeks ago while hanging out with my son near the market square I see a woman and her daughter walking along.  And she looks at me and we recognize each other.  She owns a local brothel.  And not just any brothel, but a brothel where I once fell in love with someone, and me and that girl eventually had significant off the clock time until we finally determined never to see each other again, and that was that.  She had no way to contact me ever again, and I had no way to contact her.  I heard a while back from a former coworker that she was now retired, and I thought 'good'.  So anyway me and the brothel owner are catching up (last time I saw her she was 8 months pregnant, so I find out all about that youngest daughter, etc.), and the conversation turns very briefly to the woman I met at that brothel.  The brothel owner confirms that the girl hasn't worked there in a long time.  I don't ask anything else.  The brothel owner knows we were pretty close.  And after a few minutes we're on our way.

But yesterday on a whim -- don't know why -- I check out the website for the brothel.  There is a note on there that the girl I used to know will be there next week.  I KNOW she hasn't worked there in a while, and that she also hasn't worked in another place in a neighboring country where she used to work.  I also know that the brothel owner thought we were a sweet couple.  She practically used to push us together off the clock.

So what's the deal?  Do I go to the brothel next week and see this girl again?  I'm not going to sleep with her.  I can't.  My wife knows about this girl and the feelings I had for her, and I promised my wife I'd never have contact with her again (one of two girls I have promised to never contact again, although my wife has met others).

I'm happy having quit hobbying, really.  I have no urge to hire a hooker for anything.  It's stupid.  It doesn't make me happy any more.  And I love my wife.  There's no way I see a meeting turning romantic.  But why is she suddenly here?  She used to joke about having my baby.  I am pretty sure I couldn't have gotten her pregnant.  But she also had a plan to get artificially inseminated after she retired.  What if she wants my sperm?  Does it even have anything to do with me?  Maybe it's just some sort of weird coincidence.  I shouldn't bite.  Right?  I shouldn't bite.

Whatever your responses -- and please rip away -- thanks to TER admin, mods, and members for all the years of entertainment here.  You guys (and girls) are a twisted and glorious bunch of addicted misfits.  I love you all.

You are either a man of your word or you are not. There is no gray area or excuse in that matter.

Only you can determine if you care whather you are trustworthy or dishonest.

The choices you have are up to you. You have to live with your own choices, which is more important than what anyone else thinks.



HalfHour

Great life story.... if you do, and it gets turn into a movie, I want to be you...

Your married and happily but oh those memories of lust and experimentation with your first. I think that's the way you should look at the feelings you are having now and don't try to complicate or entangle your emotions any more than that.

I think most men get involved with this hobby for one or all of the reasons you mentioned. I thought a hobby was collecting stamps, coins or playing a sport but boy have times changed. It sounds like your over with looking at alternatives to fill any void you might have or not have but more curious if this provider is coming just because your there. Do you really need or want to know ? An addiction is an addiction for life. You drink or you never touch it again.

Kisses Haley

thoughts.  I have them from time to time.  You can not turn back the clock & if you did meet her, you'll put both of you through a lot of agony.
Turn your back & walk away.  Remember the good time, smile, and keep walking.

Well the tangled webs we weave...sounds like you are being given a chance by the universe to work through some of your old issues...   It is ok to luv two people and she is an old flame that touched a part of your soul...  You allude to her wanting a baby and maybe she wants your sperm...maybe what is going on is that you really deep down wanted a child with her...?  You love your family and wife talk to her about this....you have a fantastic understanding wife!  Every relationship is unique to each couple and only you know what to do, just listen!     Or you might end up with “a lack of relevant reality”

Kisses,
Lexi

wife cares about money -- just don't let her know about it.  You did the right thing by telling your wife you'd never see a hooker again.

With all that being said, it is up to your righteous mind to straighten out everything.

I don't who said this first (could be just about anyone):

"Do the right thing"

How important is your marriage to you?

Now you need to ask yourself are you a real man? In your own words " I promised my wife I'd never have contact with her again." If you love your wife you will not betray that promise. Real men don't back down on his commitments to those he loves. My advice be the man your wife deserves for forgiving your trespasses in the past and honor your word by staying away, far away.

scoed

..Or send your wife to see a hooker.. Or have your wife get you a hooker.!! BTDT..

You friggin "normal" couples crack us up.!!  But yeah, do the right thing.. Be honest with each other AND yourselves.. Good luck..   d:^)  Schneeks..

Assuming her coming to town even has anything to do with me, what's the point?   What would we even say to each other?  

I doubt she's going to tell me she (still?) loves me and has been desperate to see me again.  Even if she felt that way, it's not something people dump out there after not seeing someone for years.  Especially hookers.  They're not exactly confidant people, and though this one was special, she's not superhuman.  And what would I say even if she did tell me that?  Yes, there was a time that I seriously entertained the idea of running off with this girl.  But, uh...  That was stupid.  I'd still choose my wife over her again.

And what am I going to say to her?  What would I ask her?  Hey -- how ya doing?  Got a boyfriend yet?  Did you meet your financial goals?  Get that tattoo you talked about?  Give up smoking?  How's your mom?  Your sister?  Anything new?  ...

Lame.

And probably her being here has nothing at all to do with me anyway.


Thanks everybody for the dose of good sense.