So, recently had my first session with a provider. She was great in every respect, but as I was extremely nervous, took a lot longer to than normal, and while 'lasting long' may be a feat in other situations, I imagine not so much here. Pretty much used up the whole hour. I was pretty close to giving up, but finally it 'worked out,' thankfully. The question though is (especially interested in provider answers, others welcome though), how normal is this, and how much of an annoyance is it to providers if a client seems to take too long? I'm kinda worried I made it an ordeal for the poor girl (probably should say woman since I think she's a few years older than me). She had a great attitude, and I gave her a little more than her rate, would've given more but as I'm a grad student/researcher so I make next to nothing, and I tried to be as nice as possible about the whole thing.
Anyhow, just curious about people's thoughts on the matter. I feel a little guilty about the whole thing and may not do it again just on that basis; sexually, it was fantastic, but psychologically and morally, I'm in a bit of a crisis. I only felt compelled to resort to this because I'm debilitatingly socially awkward and this was the only way it's gonna happen for me. Does it just take 20 years of a loveless marriage or something to make one able to get used to it? Thanks for any responses.
So, recently had my first session with a provider. She was great in every respect, but as I was extremely nervous, took a lot longer to than normal, and while 'lasting long' may be a feat in other situations, I imagine not so much here. Pretty much used up the whole hour. I was pretty close to giving up, but finally it 'worked out,' thankfully. The question though is (especially interested in provider answers, others welcome though), how normal is this, and how much of an annoyance is it to providers if a client seems to take too long? I'm kinda worried I made it an ordeal for the poor girl (probably should say woman since I think she's a few years older than me). She had a great attitude, and I gave her a little more than her rate, would've given more but as I'm a grad student/researcher so I make next to nothing, and I tried to be as nice as possible about the whole thing.
Anyhow, just curious about people's thoughts on the matter. I feel a little guilty about the whole thing and may not do it again just on that basis; sexually, it was fantastic, but psychologically and morally, I'm in a bit of a crisis. I only felt compelled to resort to this because I'm debilitatingly socially awkward and this was the only way it's gonna happen for me. Does it just take 20 years of a loveless marriage or something to make one able to get used to it? Thanks for any responses
get off in a timely manner. Usually I can tell 15 minutes into the session and at some point suggest we take a break to kind of relax and let things reset. Try not rubbing one out a day or two before the session (of course too far in advance could have the opposite effect). As for the guilt issue, if your seeing high quality women (meaning women that take pride in their work and reputation) and don't see the $50 BP girls, they are doing this of their own free will. Nobody is forcing them into anything. Its just two consenting adults having fun. Relax a little, maybe have a drink to start the session and maybe see the same girl again, the more familiar with each other the better in my experience.
I guess that's a decent suggestion. Feeling sorry for someone's economic condition is not exactly an aphrodisiac. Perhaps not such an issue with higher end women.
Next time, utilize ethanol as part of your research methodology. Record results after volumetric titration. Relax.. Get over the puritanical "moral" response, you are punishing yourself needlessly.
Getting paid more per hour than an attorney has amazing healing benefits on these broads.
As for you, don't worry. You came in the required amount of time. And to help with your guilt, give her double her rate next time. And include a Hitachi.
Something tells me she is sitting by her phone this very instant hoping you contact her to put her through that horrifying "ordeal" again
I hope you're kidding, but even if you are...how do you actually bring yourself to hit 'post' after you write something like that?
I'll give you a version of my stock line, which is: If it was your ass on Eros and someone was coming at you with a 14-inch dildo and a shit-eating grin...what would you say then? "Hey dooood...sure!!!! This a**hole is yours as long as U paid 4 it"? I don't think so
You did the right thing by giving her a bit more if you feel it was above average exhaustive for her. It's not annoying at all, or at least for women who care about pleasing a bit. It's better that it was able to work out at the end, it is a self esteem booster to her.
Your last sentence is interesting. And I sure hope it's not the only way. But many do give off that impression, and it's a shame because in the whole scheme of things we should try to be happy but life seems to be too complex for some.
First off there is a FAQ for Newbies board.. This is betterposted there , I think..
But this is something that lately seems to happen a lot to me too.. aggravating and I am assuming it's just a phase.. so I keep checking about once a week to see if it's over yet..still fun..
First: Select a different provider. Not saying anything about the provider you saw, but approaching someone you've never met before seems important in dealing with social awkwardness.
Second: When setting up the appointment, BRIEFLY mention that you are socially awkward, or words to that effect, and state that you're EXCITED to meet her.
Third: Be aware that you are there to enjoy yourself, and if for any reason you feel things aren't going as hoped, just tell her that maybe you were TOO excited about being with her.
This ought to have a positive "psychological" effect on both of you. You are sharing a beautiful experience with another human being. She is doing the same. Each of you live in your own universe, unique and mysterious to all others. A session such as what the two of you will enjoy is about as close as these two unique and mysterious universes can get. Enjoy her. Enjoy yourself.
You sound like a compassionate human being. It was probably fine - meaning, well within her limits as a professional.
She probably was just happy that you were able to 'work it out' and leave with a smile on your face. If you'd been a jerk...not so much, lol.
Sometimes girls aren't always going to have so much fun...and yes, we will sometimes have to humor our clients and put up with some discomfort, to a greater or lesser degree. But that's part of the deal we make when we put on our photos on Eros. We're not expecting Brad Pitt every time, we understand that our clients might be rough, overweight, or have ED. It's work. If that fact hampers your enjoyment - if you really can't get past it and it's bothering you - then maybe hobbying isn't for you. But for most girls, if you pay, you're polite, and not unreasonably rough or demanding (I really doubt you are)...we're very happy to see you even if it takes things a while to 'work out'.
It is just a phase. Don't give up. Don't see the same provider again, try somebody new though.
Maybe next time, go for a full body sensual massage instead. There is no pressure to do anything but relax and let her do all the work. It is perfectly acceptable to close your eyes during that too. I find that if I am in a total state of relaxation like that, then I would never have performance anxiety or anything like that. By the way, performance anxiety is self fulfilling, so the key is to just relax.
That works for me anyway.
Another thing, taking Viagra has an odd side effect in that it can make guys last forever before ejaculating. If you took one before, then don't take one next time. Or take half a dose only or something. That could also be the problem. I learned about that from a provider by the way. I tested out her theory on my own at a later date (for scientific purposes of course, haha), and she was right.
Viagra does inhibit ejaculation. So does performance anxiety. If you're worried about performing well, you probably won't perform well. It's a self-fulfilling prophecy. You need to relax and live in your own moment.
I do the FBSM route once in a while with a regular, very young and very cute and very juicy girl. The thing is, no FS on the menu, so my performance is irrelevant, I'm the passive one so I can just lie back, relax, fantasize and cum like a fountain. Then, when I'm in refractory mode, she gets to have some fun. I was having late or no cum problems for a few weeks when I was trying too hard to please the FS provider I was seeing. (Don't start) An experienced FBSM provider who had been around the block cured me of that in one session. Taught me that everyone is responsible for their own orgasm, so take the mental time to concentrate on your own feelings and orgasm and don't worry about pleasuring the provider if you have that problem. Some of the more experienced FBSM ladies have BJ/HJ skills that have to be experienced to be believed. It can be like a warm, wet, writhing vagina all the way from your tip to your balls, all at once, in waves. They can bring you close, then back you off, then bring you close again and maybe this time take you over the top. A great FBSM girl is an artist in her own right and can play you like a violin.
Sometimes the right FBSM lady is a better experience than a FS lady. Just depends on what you want/need, but don't underestimate their skill sets just because they choose not to offer FS.
Find a bareback provider. Just kidding. I have that problem sometimes. I would suggest if you liked that one provider stick with just her for awhile till you get used to this. You don't have to do a hundred women like some here do. I have one lady I stick with. Been seeing her for years. Its good between us cause we have gotten to know what each of us likes. Then I have a few others I see occaisionally. And if someone is touring or new that has good reviews and they intrigue me then I see them. Good luck and I think with time your guilt will go away and who knows maybe it will help with your awkwardness with women, you just need more confidence. Women love that.
There are many meds (including meds for modulating heart rhythm and tons of other meds) that can screw up the natural course of events. Even vitamin deficiencies can affect it and certainly low testosterone counts.
for the first year or so until a gal said it wasn't necessary any longer. I am still nervous meeting someone new. I am comfortable about my decision to play... because if I didn't I'd have no sex at all.
So, recently had my first session with a provider. She was great in every respect, but as I was extremely nervous, took a lot longer to than normal, and while 'lasting long' may be a feat in other situations, I imagine not so much here. Pretty much used up the whole hour. I was pretty close to giving up, but finally it 'worked out,' thankfully. The question though is (especially interested in provider answers, others welcome though), how normal is this, and how much of an annoyance is it to providers if a client seems to take too long? I'm kinda worried I made it an ordeal for the poor girl (probably should say woman since I think she's a few years older than me). She had a great attitude, and I gave her a little more than her rate, would've given more but as I'm a grad student/researcher so I make next to nothing, and I tried to be as nice as possible about the whole thing.
Anyhow, just curious about people's thoughts on the matter. I feel a little guilty about the whole thing and may not do it again just on that basis; sexually, it was fantastic, but psychologically and morally, I'm in a bit of a crisis. I only felt compelled to resort to this because I'm debilitatingly socially awkward and this was the only way it's gonna happen for me. Does it just take 20 years of a loveless marriage or something to make one able to get used to it? Thanks for any responses.
You didn't say if you took an ED med.. I have a strong suspicion that Viagra impairs reaction somehow.. No one else mentioned it so I may be all wet.. I want to see what happens or doesn't happen the next time I am with someone.. The last 3 or 4 times.. I had to give the provider a hand so to speak to get off.. that bothers me
A provider pointed me to a study of men with PE (Premature Ejaculation) & Viagra did lengthen time to Ejaculation.
Posted By: exit9
You didn't say if you took an ED med.. I have a strong suspicion that Viagra impairs reaction somehow.. No one else mentioned it so I may be all wet.. I want to see what happens or doesn't happen the next time I am with someone.. The last 3 or 4 times.. I had to give the provider a hand so to speak to get off.. that bothers me
Most max out at 20-30 minutes, some ten mins, and the rare occasion happens where you're waiting for 'the moment' and it just doesn't happen for a while. When I was seeing multiple/day, and a guy was constantly pounding for an hr and a half, there had to be some rearranging of my schedule that day. I had one day last year where I saw four guys two days in a row after practically no one for a couple weeks, and they were all long lasting. I have no idea how I did it, but that was the only time that had happened.
Switching things up helps, or taking a break to help relax, then we try again and it happens quicker. That is one reason I require longer appointments. (And to budget so I don't need to see many people,) it helps relieve us both of the time crunch, allows time to get acquainted, for the guy to get to know that we're laid back and not judging them, just enjoying conversation and touching, which helps the guy get rid of his jitters. We also have time for little chillax breaks so the pressure built up in his cock can calm down a bit, making it easier to cum. (I didn't explain that right, I'm sure, but that's something I've heard a couple guys say). Perhaps some more foreplay with other body parts to turn him on in the right way to get him off. (I.e. Boobie play, cunnilingus, sensual massage, kissing, etc.).
These are just some ideas on how you might play it out next time. It usually works. I would suggest scheduling longer to at least have some getting to know you time with the lady if nerves throw you out of your groove. Remember, we're here to impress you, not the other way around. Just be good to us and let us take care of you.
Is that shit ? Exactly how long is long ? Okay I can have a girl suck my cock for over an hour an not cum , yeah its great and I'm not married either ..lol....perhaps what you need to get used to is 1 night stands , I'm used to those so this is easy !!!! Oh and I go longer than an hour , book 2 to 3 hours read and have fun , save your allowance you'll have a better time , the 1 hour sucks !
Posted By: Midwesterner
So, recently had my first session with a provider. She was great in every respect, but as I was extremely nervous, took a lot longer to than normal, and while 'lasting long' may be a feat in other situations, I imagine not so much here. Pretty much used up the whole hour. I was pretty close to giving up, but finally it 'worked out,' thankfully. The question though is (especially interested in provider answers, others welcome though), how normal is this, and how much of an annoyance is it to providers if a client seems to take too long? I'm kinda worried I made it an ordeal for the poor girl (probably should say woman since I think she's a few years older than me). She had a great attitude, and I gave her a little more than her rate, would've given more but as I'm a grad student/researcher so I make next to nothing, and I tried to be as nice as possible about the whole thing.
Anyhow, just curious about people's thoughts on the matter. I feel a little guilty about the whole thing and may not do it again just on that basis; sexually, it was fantastic, but psychologically and morally, I'm in a bit of a crisis. I only felt compelled to resort to this because I'm debilitatingly socially awkward and this was the only way it's gonna happen for me. Does it just take 20 years of a loveless marriage or something to make one able to get used to it? Thanks for any responses.
Im always up for a bit of a challenge, but for a first time visit it is a bit frustrating if it takes the WHOLE hour to finish the deed. only because it makes me feel like im not doing something right or keeping his attention long enough for him to finish the deed.... If this is not normal for you i would give it a try again.... try something to calm your nerves.... then give it a go... dont over think it But Id say definitely dont give up because of one incident...
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