Stickys would be great here.

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=247599&boardID=12&page=

Yes, this is common courtesy.  As aluded too, also part of descretion.

I guess it isnt as common as we would like.

I don't mind giving reference without being asked first, but when I'm doing the screening of the gent, sometimes the reference providers take a while to respond back to me, if they respond at all.  I think asking first would make the process go faster.

You girls have my permission if my SO calls for a reference to give her one . thanks lol
uc