A very good friend of mine wants to become a massage provider. I have been doing this for a while and no one knows exactly what I do. Everyone knows I'm a massage therapist, which I am 
but no one knows about the sensual aspect of it. She is becoming more curious about escorting and the whole adult industry too and apparently is finding out information and wants to tell me about it. Little does she know I am already well informed. I told myself no matter what I would never tell anyone to prevent any conflict and worry about someone spreading word about my business. But should I make an exception for her? We are indeed very close but I feel like it will be like mixing business with pleasure so to speak. When she talks about it, should I just act super interested as if I had no clue? Has this happened to any providers and what did you do?
Which she might find out, anyway, if you don't tell her, and she gets into doing it.
This is a very small world we live in, and especially in the provider community.
I'd probably just tell her.
She might be fishing as she might be suspicious of you and need confirmation. The fewer people from your private life that know, the better. The less they have over you. Remember this is illegal and if you have another real job and have a hooker website with face images, you're fucked and not in a good way, if a friend gets pissy and wants to hurt you. You just never know down the road what might happen. And I am speaking from experience.
I cannot reinforce saturn's advice strongly enough!!! No one is a friend until they've died for you.
JC
Agree 100% This is one lesson we can learn from the politicians. Deny, deny, deny. Even if she walks in and you're on your knees with a dick in your mouth and an envelope full of money in your hand, deny everything!
I would suggest waiting until you are sure she has taken the leap and then have a conversation about it. Use your silence as an example of lesson #1 for your friend when you finally talk about it:
Lesson #1: when in doubt, STFU; when not in doubt, STFU.
$150, four hours at my first post-dormitory apartment.
My then best friend, who I now lovingly call FemiNazi due to her high strung lesbian feminist antics, was at the time my partner-in-crime.
She was the wilder of the two of us, extremely sexually free, introduced me to Casual Encounters Craigslist and Adult Friend Finder-met men for anal sex, gave blowjobs in the bathroom of Club Europe when it was the only place we could dance under twenty-one. Watched her fuck strangers on more nights than I could remember when I was still three degrees removed from virginity.
When I did this, when I advertised and was inundated with responses and chose one after chatting with him for three weeks on Yahoo messenger because he was under thirty and wasn't so scary to me, I immediately reported to her.
We'd fantasized about doing this.
I came to the office next day practically floating, reached into my purse in the break room with a conspiratorial voice and told her "I did it, it was sooooo much fun, look at what he gave me" she smiled at first, she congratulated me even. By the next day we weren't speaking.
We didn't speak again for nearly a year.
Today we exchange a few tense messages on Facebook here and there, our life paths have completely diverged and that is understandable.
But what isn't understandable is the hypocrisy of sexuality.
What you think makes sense to you now doesn't, trust me. Your friend has to find this world alone and she has to discover you in it only after she has done it and finds that she likes it in order to accept you doing it.
This is truly something that a woman cannot be taught- she has to be drawn to it and she has to find her own way within it.
If you want to keep your friend, tread carefully.
At the risk of sounding repetitive; I cannot stress how important and right Ally's advice is to you!!
JC
You just never know how a friendship will end up especially if both friends are providers.Hey,for some people it works they can be friends for years but for others it just does not work out too well.
You never know if your friend will get jealous of you or something you do in this business might piss her off.
There have been providers who told their friends what they do for a living and all of a sudden friend gets bent out of shape about some BS now the provider is outted to her family and friends.
I had a best friend who was in this business first she introduced me to this business and our friendship was fine for a few years.Until,she decided she was mad that I was getting more calls from an agency we both worked at but she was not consistent with her schedule as I was.
All of a sudden my friend from high school who I considered more of a sister showed her true colors.
Never in a million years would I have thought such a close friend would become such a hater and be that catty.I would have never thought that friends from school would know my business courtesy of her.
You just really never know what a person is capable of doing so in my opinion let her find out what she needs to on her own.
I have a friend right now who has been layed-off from her job and has mentioned getting into escorting.
My lips are staying sealed after my last experience with a friend I know to keep my mouth shut.
-- Modified on 8/17/2012 4:57:34 PM
Dear Ashley:
Perhaps you should navigate her to current working professionals to help her get an informational interview? At this point she can ask certain questions that are relevant to the occupation and accrue some information so that she can make a sound choice about if she wants to do it or not. After you point, her in that particular direction generally suggest to her with out saying to much to get her suspicious, about the things that she needs to research so that she could have an effective information interview. After that she should have her eyes opened and can make an informed decision predicated on her interaction with the prospective adult companionship provider in question.
The only way two people can keep a secret is if one of them dies.
Just the fact you are reluctant tells me you should not. You can never put the Genie back in the bottle.
There might come a time... but it has got to be the exception rather than the rule. This is a secret life we lead. Generally best to keep it that way.
Maybe you can introduce her to TER... as a resource... but not tell her your secrets.
I am not a provider or a woman but have witnessed how petty and catty they can become to eachother.
and is digging to see if you will the beans.
jst saying.
keep to yourself on this one.
I would NOT tell her....I have to agree with most replys on this one! This is your own little secret..I wouldn't let anyone know it...not even your best friends! Good luck to you!
XOXO
You can always use the "I have a friend who does it" line, and that will allow you to tell her about the dangers, screening, etc. without her knowing you are "the friend."
