TER General Board
Performance Anxiety problems?
I have only my personal experience with Viagra which I prefer over the others C or L. I have partial spinal cord nerve damage. I do have some feeling & sensation... it feels good; it just feels different than before. I can usually get an erection, but can have it fade on me. Any mental distraction can cause it. It takes a lot to get me there, no matter how much fun I'm having... although if the pressure is in exactly the right spot, things can surprise me with the quickness (probably in the average time range for most).
I have no idea what my recovery time would be... If it's close to an hour the first time, I'd need a dinner break to try again. I usually just enjoy what ever time we have left & call it a day.
My suggestion is to go for a slow trip, once... enjoy the view... avoid distractions...
BTW, V comes in 25, 50, 100... all cost about the same. My Rx is for 100s which I cut in quarters. They taste nasty, so take with a gulp of water...
jtp
-- Modified on 12/22/2008 5:49:33 AM
I appear to be having a bit of a problem with performance anxiety. Used to happen as a younger guy as well... a few times, with someone new. I'd be fine right up until it came time to go FS, then I'd lose it. I eventually overcame these difficulties each time...but that was in long term relationships.
Began having some ED problems later in life (late 20's and 30's), and doc prescribed vitamin V. here not long ago. Took care of the problem with about 1/4 of the pill, as long as I was by myself (I'd sworn off women for a while due to some very poor relationship choices). I thought I was "good to go".
Well, first visit with a provider. Thought of having problems never crossed my mind. We did 69, mind blowing BBBJCIM, and had zero difficulty. Then, about an hour later, looked like I was ready for pop 2, FS. I was calm and confident, got the cover on without a problem, and entered. That lasted about 20 seconds, and went limp as all hell. Shocked the hell outta me. Last thing I thought was going to happen. Especially since she was quite attractive and we had really hit it off.
Now I've got it on the brain. Thought maybe old anxiety issues were coming back to haunt me. Same thing on our 2nd visit together, even after going 4 days "hands off". Now instead of looking forward to what will happen on our visits, I'm dreading "it" happening again.
If I take just a bit of viagra, the next morning I can still get morning wood you could cut glass with, but when it comes time to perform FS, it is on my brain, and I lose it. There is some kind of mental disconnect there, and wearing a cover (which of course not doing is not an option) compounds the problem by decreasing feeling quite a bit.
After some research, it seems it's not so rare for some guys, but not sure how to get past it. Especially when I don't have the luxury of sleeping with the lady in question every night, and just letting nature take its course when the time is right. I've thought about shortening the length of our visits and increasing the frequency, but that may get hard to afford.
It seems a full tab may get the job done, but not sure. Down side to that, is there will be decreased sensativity so some degree.
In retrospect, I probably just wasn't ready, especially after such a fantastic bj, but now it's on the brain, and if you've dealt with the issue, you know how much of a vicious cycle that can be.
Any tips from those who have overcome this, or from ladies who have helped the guys overcome this much appreciated.
I'm with you bro.....my situation is not atall dissimilar to yours. There is a posting about it over on the erotic highway. Like you I'm sure it partially real but very largely 'psychological". You should post this over there and get LG's input.
I'm pretty sure this will pass!
Mr. G.
Very common problem with multiple causes. It would be a mistake to think there is no physical component to things. Think of this: Your brain sends signals to your small head. The nerves and blond vessels respond. When you were 16, the slightest signal got things going. The blood vessels in your penis are not as clean and responsive as they were when you were 16. The signal needs to be stronger so if there is an weakening of the psychological signal, the response may not be good enough.
The thing to consider:
a. Talk to your doc about the safety of a full viagra. This sensitizes the blood vessels to your penis.
b. Take some of the anxiety out of the act. You can do this in a number of ways. First, allow 69 but no climax. Save that first climax for FS. Another approach is to deny yourself FS altogether for a while. Make this a treat you are not allowed to have for a while. Third approach: allow yourself all stimulation but no climax except by FS. Lie there going crazy, fully dosed with Viagra, making yourself wait until you feel you are going to die with desire. Then when no longer able to bear the frustration, go to GS. If it were me, I would just forget FS and stick with the things that gave me undiluted pleasure so I would repeat the 69 or whatever else worked for me. For me, this is not a performance but pure unadulterated fun (for, please GD, both of us.) PM me and let me know how it goes if you like.
-- Modified on 12/22/2008 4:02:42 AM
I have only my personal experience with Viagra which I prefer over the others C or L. I have partial spinal cord nerve damage. I do have some feeling & sensation... it feels good; it just feels different than before. I can usually get an erection, but can have it fade on me. Any mental distraction can cause it. It takes a lot to get me there, no matter how much fun I'm having... although if the pressure is in exactly the right spot, things can surprise me with the quickness (probably in the average time range for most).
I have no idea what my recovery time would be... If it's close to an hour the first time, I'd need a dinner break to try again. I usually just enjoy what ever time we have left & call it a day.
My suggestion is to go for a slow trip, once... enjoy the view... avoid distractions...
BTW, V comes in 25, 50, 100... all cost about the same. My Rx is for 100s which I cut in quarters. They taste nasty, so take with a gulp of water...
jtp
-- Modified on 12/22/2008 5:49:33 AM
Start with the covered FS when your potentcy is at it's peak, then reserve the BBBJ for round two when you need the extra stimulation.
It works well for me.
Female condoms help too. My gentleman could not stay hard so I pulled out the female condom put inside me and let him continue.
He liked the sensation. But not all guys do.
Something to try.
-- Modified on 12/22/2008 7:46:47 AM
If you smoke, don't for several hours before the sesssion. This was the big problem for me. Be careful about drinking. Eat light and well (least 2 hours) before your session but also do not be hungry.
I agree with the suggestion about a massage. If you can get a 'real' massage just before your session, do so. It is better than any drug you can imagine.
It still could be in your big head, but it also may be something simple like feeling physically 'up' for sex.
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