It's nearly 3am and I can't sleep, so I will share with yall an analogy I came up with for explaining this hobby to my married friends.

Women are like cell phone plans.  You basically have 2 choices, the long term contract or the pay as you go plan.

You can sign a long term contract (get married), and get a sexy new iphone (wife) to play with.  There is a regular ongoing cost for this, monthly bill = buying shit to keep her happy and keep the pussy supply flowing.  It is usually the cheaper option, but there are some drawbacks.  What if quality of service declines?  (Calls dropping = "I'm tired not tonight").  Can't switch to a better service provider.  And what about several years later when you once sexy new iphone now old and slow compared to the latest shiny new model available now.  And the new models do some appealing stuff that yours doesn't.  At least with the phone contract you can probably get an upgrade to the nice new model.  Can't get a new younger and hotter wife.  Unless of course you break the contract (get divorced), but for that you get hit with a nasty early termination fee.

Let's now consider the other option, the pay as you go plan (escorts/hookers/whores).  You pay for as much service as you use.  The downside is this will end up costing more if you use a lot.  But the advantages are significant.  Quality of service declined?  Rates keep going up?  You're free to switch to another service provider at any time.  The sexy new iphone was just released (new sexy hooker shows up in your city)?  Go and get it with no penalty.  Do that as much as you please, well as much as you can afford.

 
Whenever I explain this it usually gets some laughs as it is indeed a joke, followed by quietness as the guys realize just how true it is.  Then all sorts of hobby related questions.  Hopefully some of you enjoyed it

but I didn't find it particularly funny either.

 Lol your comment was funny.. Your call did not go through... Love it.

They get the best of both worlds.

Wives are like hands free phones.  They don't want you to touch them

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Providers are your mobiles.

You can buy (marry), lease (date), or rent by the day (providers). Just because you bought a Toyota doesnt mean you cant rent a Lamborghini if the mood strikes!

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and I forgot to mention that while I didn't find his little "joke" particularly funny, I did find your comeback much funnier.

Now if only hands fee mute worked better for both cell phone options..and the do not disturb button was a given unless it was time to initiate a call...)

i have read similar analogy before somewhere  

#sorryaboutit