Ya go into Mikey D's.  All you want is a coke, big Mac and fries.  so you order the meal... Immediately they try to upsale.  they also try to sell you other food items.... until finally you are forced to be rude.... and then, they in fact, get the order wrong.

Happens everywhere.  People are so intent on getting you to their point of reference or to do what they want you to do, they fail to listen or read.  

In several corporations I have been in, great pains are taken to teach people how to talk, how to make a presentation and how to convice people of your point of view... NO time is spent in teaching folks how to listen.... why is that?

We are in a war - and yet our CIC fails to listen to viewpoints other than his own... why?  

why why why....

There are numerous examples of this on this discussion board.... and this is a hobby....

can you repeat that, I wasn't paying attention.

that people are taught to be "expressive" without regard/responsibility for their own expressions.  Kind of an oxyMORON wouldn't you say?  I'll throw out some thoughts, random as they may be.  
Many use this board to "finally" be able to express their own frustrations, guilts, etc. where expression has been stiffled in the work place due to being PC or not PC.  Unfortunately many choose at work to say nothing as anything said may be construed offensively or prohibitive in moving up the corporate ladder.   Here, it's an open forum with no face to face meeting and no repurcussions but a few demonizing and hatred filled follow-up threads.  I've stopped contributing because of that and feel it's not worth the grief of illiterates, non-readers and mis-understanders that use this as a release of their own frustrations in life. I'm sure many are typing their responses before reading the entire blog as a nerve had been hit, racial, sexist, etc. I think we are all mature enough to assertain when someone is "trolling" for a fight.  I believe giving these types of individuals 10 pages of fodder seems like a waste of time and energy to me.  I agree with you as you say, this is a "hobby" not life or death.  I just wish more people from around here would lighten up, speak their "PEACE" in a less than demeaning way and move on. I will attribute some of this to the economy.  I believe it has an affect on folks and is causin' quite a bit of anxiety.  Go ahead folks, blast away.      

-- Modified on 6/17/2008 8:44:38 AM

Favorite quote:

"Seek first to understand, then to be understood."

Unfortunately, most do the reverse.

and we all have our limits to understanding, at any given moment, based on our physical, emotional, cognitive and spiritual condition. It helps everyone when we own up to having reached our limit, in as graceful manner as we can muster.

-- Modified on 6/17/2008 10:17:22 AM

You also misspelled "stifled", "repercussions" &
"ascertain"--------- & YOU speak of oxymorons ?!-------LMFAO !  

So many times I have used the word "some" and put it in quotation marks, yet I get responses from "some" about judging all.  Then there's the lovely posts where someone is complimenting another person, and sure enough "some" have to pipe in with negative commentaries.  There's also the smart-ass but funny comments I sometimes make (even with a smiley face) meaning: I'm joking, yet someone takes offense.  Thank goodness it is not very often.  I have a guy's sense of humor at times but I enjoy it.  People: Try to remember to use the appropriate icons for your demeanor.  That is what they are there for, so if you mean something in jest, use a smiley face or something that fits your mood.  

It does not matter how well you speak your mind or how clearly you write (if people really understand grammar), a lot of people interpret only what they want to understand.  They misconstrue many things that were stated that even a reasonably intelligent person should be able to understand.  They simply look for something negative and run with it -- like attempting to kill with a dull sword.

Then there are those who purposely use vulgar and insulting comments to stir the pot and then respond to your rebuttal in wonderment as to why you take it so personally (when factually you're just asking them, "Why the hatred?").  Yes! Those are the types of people who are looking to intentionally upset you with their responses, then try to make you feel ignorant for responding to them with -- what most would consider -- helpful advice. That, to me, is very condescending. I especially dislike it when I am standing my ground with -- what I believe is -- intelligent and sometimes comical banter, and 99 percent of the time someone else pipes in and says, "Don't let him ruffle your feathers. He's an idiot."  Yes, it's obvious to me -- and others -- that "he's an idiot," and my feathers are not ruffled just because I am voicing an opinion.  I am not a woman PMSing, thank you.  I haven't PMS'd in a long time, nor will that happen again. Get my drift?  That's irritating.  I think a lot of women would prefer someone saying, "Yea, I agree and the guy is trying to cause trouble."  Then, you're not belittling her comments and instilling in the minds of others that she is a less-than intelligent, lost woman.  Why do guys "assume" they have the right to respond to negativity, yet when women do it we are suddenly PMSing and told to calm down?  That's pathetic!  Can you please think of something better to say other than having the old "caveman" mentality?  I certainly hope that I do not make anyone here feel like he is a rambling idiot who is only good for hunting animals, bonking me on the head and boinking me from behind.  Many ladies have degrees, have successful businesses, even give lectures -- now that's an interesting word: lectures.  So, please, spare us the condescending manners.  I know "some" of you mean well, but there is no other way to interpret that message other than someone who wants to protect you (and thank you for that) but also acts like a father who is scolding you.

I find it aggravating when I have not mentioned something in particular, yet somehow "some" people seem to twist my words, even when I mention that I have never said what they are accusing me of. They come up with something different and do not directly answer the question. I especially find it irritating when people say, "I find it funny because. . . " Can they think of something more appropriate to say? That is a code statement for: "I am so upset all I can do is use the word 'laugh' because I cannot find a better way to communicate with you and that is the best deragatory statement I can think of right now and to make fun of you."  They sound like children ranting and whining.  Women are extremely good at this and that is why I find it so difficult, at times, to talk to women on an intelligent level when disputing a point. All they want to do is scream, talk over you and then hang up.  How childish.  What does that accomplish?  Well, it tells me not to deal with that person anymore, unless he/she is willing to speak to me appropriately and with kindness.  I have come to the conclusion that those people are lacking in self-esteem and are only battling with themselves, yet want the "misery-loves-company" lifestyle.  I do not want that in any aspects of my life.  I have enough to deal with on a daily basis than to continually argue pointlessly with someone.

Well, thanks for letting me get that off my chest.  Oh, and I am not upset -- not one ioda.  I am just voicing my opinion, which I feel is logical and truthful.  Now, all of you come here for your daily spankings.  I feel like mothering the shit out of you.


Hugs,
Ciara













-- Modified on 6/17/2008 11:16:20 AM

I am always amazed people actually get angry on this board. You are right they have issues that are spilling over here instead of dealing with them in real life.  The longest threads are usually when someone uses an alias and writes something ignorant and people take it seriously and get indignant. As far as personal attacks go how could I ever take seriously an attack from someone who does not even know me.  I could care less.

There are fun threads also. I still chuckle remembering those disco dancing guys and that Steely Dan music thread was great. Thought provoking threads also occur from time to time. So you have to pick and choose.

-- Modified on 6/17/2008 9:09:27 AM

Actually, I'll do quite the opposite. I couldn't agree with your points more fully. I haven't been around as long as some, but have noticed that the people who were here when I first came around have disappeared. These are the people whose opinions I respect, and that includes you, Briar. I find it quite saddening that a few trolls can have such a negative effect on what was obviously a very tight community not long ago. I visit several of the regional boards, and see the same trolls having the same effect on them. I've chosen to stick around and make an attempt at ignoring as much of the bullshit as I can. Some of them make that very difficult, and sometimes you have to respond. Hopefully, I can keep it light, and not piss off too many of the people that have earned my respect.

Come back around. Your opinions are valued here.

Good luck bro.

I wish you and the some of the others, who see this as a community, would return to contributing on a regular basis.

... you get anything you need off of your chest. And then I'll present myself for spankings if you'll make me a grill cheese sandwich and some tomato soup later.

And seriously, your point is well-taken. Being a good southern-boy, I always try to be respectful of a lady. But there seems to be a lot less of that going around these days.

You were doing fine, right up to the point where you had to make the gratuitous political statement...  P&R board, DAMMIT!

and I remember the corn bread, the fatback cooked greens, the macaroni and cheese, the pulled pork, the sweetened ice tea (okay, that I can do without), the cornbread, the grits and all those darn sweets which took me two years to work off.

Hugs,
Ciara

Now you're talking, darlin'! Biscuits and gravy, fried catfish, chicken and dumplings, pan-fried chicken, cornbread, good barbecue... Soon I'll be back for a visit before it's back to the Midwest where I can't get grits unless I make 'em myself!

Uh, what were we discussing again?

I just don't understand why people have the need to correct someone's misspelled words and in such a mean way. they don't even comment on the post itself just make spelling corrections.
we are not in school and being graded for our grammar and spelling.
Supposedly its a place we should be able to communicate, share ideas and maybe learn something from others.
I stated something stupid on one of the other region boards and after my anger subsided from people wanting to tar and feather me, i did learn soemthing, not from the people who spewed venom but from the sincere, inteligent constructive comments and really did appreciate them sharing their ideas and thoughts about it.
But what good does it so to insult a person because he didn't spell a word right or left out l L when there should be 2 L's?.
Does the person doing the correcting feel superior from it?
it is done quite a bit and i think it's wierd.
From my post i learned soemthing and that's when i decided its worth staying with it even though there are a lot of people who do let their own crap stuff leak out onto everyone.
but the good guys do out weigh the bad even if they are the few.
what is that old saying...if u can count your friends on one hand before u die you are a lucky person. something like that but i am sure u know what i mean. so stick with it especially if ur one of the few good guys/girls.

A lot of the really good posters have disappeared, or at least one of the reasons. I agree with you that there is still some very good conversation here, and there are still people posting whose opinions and experiences I respect and can learn from. So, yes please stick around, and we can try to ignore the trolls together.

And I hope some of the posters who have left will come back and join us. You know who you are.

Seriously, he lost me when he said he went into Mickey D's.  Why would anyone do that?