"Fell asleep during DATY - a WifeExperience!"

Used to happen all the time.
Traded her in for a RealDoll.com, with customized audio.

"Did Her Nails During Doggie - Another WE!"

The things my ex did during doggie:
1/ her nails
2/ grocery list
3/ online mall shopping on her laptop
4/ talking on the phone to girlfriends and her mom
The WE list continues.
Every now and then she would look around and smile, and say:
"Thank you Honey. A little deeper please and more to the right.
Watch out for my tonsils."

Not to worry, not unless she is talking to her lawyer and has the webcam on.

This is a true story ... an old man was having promiscuous fun with a very hot young vixen.  

He was lying comfortably on his bed while the vixen demonstrated her immense oral skills.  After a while the old man climaxed, moaned, and lay still.  

Vixen thought old man was drained of all of his energies, and needed a few minutes to recuperate.  Boy!  Was she in for a surprise ... after moaning the old man passed away.

This gives a whole new twist to the cliché', "service that will put a smile on your face".

If a girl is pretty and with a good bod then I'm happy if she just lies there and let's me fuck her.  (but I don't want her talking or acting impatient or with a sour look on her face.)

Sometimes I just like it that way.  It gives me a certain feeling of control.  I can go as fast or as slow as I like.  I also know I don't have to please her, she's there for my total pleasure.

Afterward, I can just let the air out of her, fold her up and put her back in the bag.....

Sounds a little like . . .

. . . necrophilia to me, but then I'm sick.

You are closer to the truth than you know!!!!

I swear...HONEST...there is a guy in NYC who reviewed a girl from Jersey and admitted that while all she did was "lay there", he had the time of his life because she was so beautiful and he "owned her" for that hour, and yada, yada, yada. He even went on to say how he believe she felt he was a pathetic bastard, but it didn't matter to him "because she is a goddess", etc. etc.

I SWEAR to you this is true...I might not have the quotes exactly right, but I SWEAR this is true.

This guy also paid two hours to see one of the more well known and highly rated mid level independents...a $400/hour gal, and admitted in his review that he never touched her, because he was surprised that they had some much in common, and before he knew, he had talked away the two hours.

I SWEAR on my grandmother life I am not making this up!! I am tempted to go fine the reviews and cut-and-paste (I think the NYC Independent is on my "favorites" list).

Just goes to show you that while your remarks were surely in jest (and thus the "LOL"), you might be on to something...  


P.S. I FOUND THE REVIEWS!!!