When clients/friends falls in love and want to get married? I am not into hurting peoples feelings,I enjoy having fun,making people smile and feel good even on their worst day.


 I had an appointment for ring shopping and decided to tell a friend about the situation thinking that he would give me some great advice on what to do. He asked me what I was doing that evening and asked if he could stop over I had no problem with that I just wanted someone I could talk to since this thing was on my mind. If I say no I lose a profitable client and a good friend, if I say yes I would be playing him and myself. My friend that I confied in did show up that evening with a ring in his hand and said "I wanted to beat him to it"!

 I have a genuine love for people, I was raised in the midwest and taught from day one how to cater to a man and I enjoy doing so. When a gentleman is in my company I enjoy making him feel like he is the best man in the world rather we stay inside or go out in public that is just the way I am.

You sound like a wonderful, sweet person, who excels at what you do.  

You need to be honest with yourself and the men with the rings.  Namely, you're flattered / honored that they would like you to be their life-long companion.  But... that's not a committment that you're ready to make at this point in time. Much better to say it now than let it linger, or work it out in divorce proceedings.  

Escorting is such a personal business, and it's easy to get caught up in the emotions from both sides.  Good luck.

... raise your rates? (:

Seriously, how about just being honest with your suitors.
Stop worrying about losing them or playing them.
Just tell them the truth.
This is usually the best course.

playing with fire.  Clearly, you are able to give to people and make them feel special, that is a wonderful talent.  Keep them grounded though.  Just agreeing to a "ring shopping" appointment is WAY out of bounds!

Be real, be nice, and let him/them know you can't participate in such a charade.  If they don't understand initially, they will in time.  

Play the game with vigor and excitement, but ALWAYS know where the boundaries are.  You must be very special to prompt such responses from men - take it as the sincerest of compliments, but keep those boys in line, dear.  They are afterall, behaving like boys, not men.

and you don't want to marry this guy, you better fess up fast!

You definitely have to be honest with the poor guy immediately!!  Never mind about losing a client, you will find another, and another friend.  This is a human being's feelings you are talking about.  

Maybe in future you should consider keeping the client/friend aware of how far (or not) your feelings go so nobody gets hurt. Often it's not the easiest route to take but it is the right route.

Good luck

Carrie x

I had a little trouble following your post, so I don't know with whom you had the original appointment for ring shopping (boyfriend or another client?).  

In either case, any guy that just shows up with an engagement ring out of the blue is having trouble with reality.  Hoping to beat  the other guy to it, as if that's all it takes to get you to marry him, is naive and delusional behavior.  Even if he was a great client and friend, he can't have honestly felt there was a basis for asking you to marry him.  He may have just wanted to make a galant gesture to communicate his feelings for you, but the only thing it communicates is that he doesn't know anything about relationships, love and marriage.  

There have always been a small percentage of men who fall for dancers, performers, providers and others with an almost childlike naivete' that speaks volumes about their arrested emotional maturity and understanding of relationships.  Seventy five years ago they were called "stage door Johnnies."  Now they're the guys who pay for ten lap dances in a row, night after night.  What they have in common is that they haven't developed adult relationship skills.  As a result, they can't differentiate between buying a ticket to a show, giving a dancer $20, or booking an appointment with an escort, and having a a genuine reciprical attraction.

It places you, or any other woman that interacts with men in the public, in a difficult situation, but you've got to remember that it's the guy that has the problem since it doesn't sound like you did anything beyond the normal provider/client relationship to encourage him.  Your only concern should be to quickly pull him back to reality and not to worry about losing him as a client because this day would have arrived sooner or later anyway- it always does with this type of guy.

I get unretired, and you were nowhere to be found!  Are you well?

Love,
Anne

[email protected]

Landed close to home, that's why!

You also hit the nail on the head about the guy with the ring.  I would have loved to have seen the look on her face when he dropped THAT bomb.

Still, it is a sticky situatiuon that will be helped more by honesty than anything else.  If she truly cares about these guys' feelings, she needs to put them out of their misery, and resist the temptation to string them along in order to keep them as friends or clients.  Like I always say, there's always another Provider around the corner.  And another client.

Just sign me, "Stage Door Papercup"

Carrie, that's why I love you.  And those legs.

Couldn't stay away?  

Good to see you too...I guess I will add you to the list along with Misty and Nicole of one who got away...

I would cut and paste the relevant threads, but I swear I still haven't figured how / why for MY browser (IE 6.0) I dn't get individual URL for the posts...all I get is

http://theeroticreview.com/discussion/national/index.asp

Anyway, to try to make a long story short, I actually hadn;t hobbied since early 2002 (roughly the same time frame as my last review) because I had entered into a relationship that I was happy with. I was admittedly tempted...lol...but I was anxious to see if indeed I could return to a life of monogamy and fidelity, per my previous marriage. After several months of practicing both, my SigO and I decided to marry...only to learn a couple weeks later that we were expecting. This of course meant a fast forward wedding, and thus I have been married (and not posting) since late last year.

Still...while I didn't post (just because I thought I'd be out of line posting re: "the hobby" given that I didn't hobby), I did still lurk. For the most part I kept my thoughts to myself, but I have chimed in a couple times...once on the topic of Jazz...and now again, because the post from "Not Really Me" certainly could not have bene closer to my own thoughts...so combined with the irony of his "handle" versus mine, I could resist delurking again.

If you wanna try to seach post by name, you will find my "letter of resignation" back in the October time frame I believe. Not to be lazy, but I swear I can't get the URL to cut and paste for me.

I am glad to read that you are well...I presume you remain as sexy, of both mind and spirit, not to mention body...

(sigh) Alas....another who I will only be able to enjoy in my fantasys....

I agree with everyone else here.... Just be honest.  It's not right to manipulate someone and take advantage of them!!!  Our business is often difficult because we're in the business of pleasing and being pleased.  Sometimes, when you've seen someone for a long time, it's impossible not to develop an emotional bond with them.  That's when you have to take a step back and look at what this hobby is all about--IMHO, giving and receiving pleasure with no strings attached.  Most women who survive in this profession for any length of time are incredibly independent creatures.  You would not be struggling with this if you a)did not have a conscience and b)aren't independent.  Just remember what our jobs are and the ethics that are involved.  And remember what Shakepeare wrote in Hamlet.... "This above all, to thine own self be true, then thou canst not be false to any man."  Marrying either one of these guys if you don't have genuine feelings for them or an agreement of some sort and without ALL of your cards out on the table would not be true to yourself!

Good Luck!
Jaclyn

Hey!  I -just- found out how to get those URL's myself!  Don't you love the way synchronicity works?  

I haven't been able to get a URL from the message itself while I'm viewing it, but you can right-click on the link (from the main list, or the list of replies) and save a shortcut.  That copies the URL to the clipboard, and you can paste it directly into the message...  Yours that I'm responding to is:

http://theeroticreview.com/msgBoard/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=45854&boardID=12&page=1

No one could have said it better!

Be honest and talk to your client. If that client does care about you,the boundaries will be set in place on a go forward basis and that he'll stisfied with being your friend and will truly happy for you. If he is not, well that will speak for itself and his feelings will have been superficial anyway.

Best wishes on the situation and remember to be honest and tell him!