In honor of Pride Week here in Toronto...and everywhere else!

10 Reasons Why Gay Marriage is Wrong


01) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

02) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

03) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

04) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

05) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Britany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

06) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

07) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

08) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

09) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans.

Happy Pride Partying, to all of my G/L/B/T friends everywhere!

Morgan

Are they going to make me marry a dude!

I better learn how to suck dicks. Any volunteers?

If someone wants to marry their dog it is ok with me, but, do I have to applaud? I would rather not even attend the ceremony.

-It could make God angry enough to declare the teachins of Jesus null and void, destroy America, start the Apocolypse early, to put even fundamentalists in hell.

-Because we can't send child molesters to prison when gays are allowed to marry.

-High school bullies will have to come up with different insults besides "gay" "fag" and "queer."

-Gays might just show heteros up and have better, long lasting marriages and a lower divorce rate; then where would claims of "pro-family" be?

It never has made sense to me why anyone would object to allowing gays and lesbians the same opportunity to be miserable....err, I mean blissful.....as their heterosexual counterparts.

It used to be (back before divorce laws were reformed) that you had to show cause, such as adultery, cruelty, or mental illness, and even then, if the judge thought the suing party was complicit in the suit or the misbehavior, he could refuse to grant it.  (Example: If your wife arranged for you to sleep with another woman, she couldn't then sue for divorce on the grounds of adultery.  Another example: If you found her screwing someone else, and didn't immediately throw her out of the house, or move out yourself, you lost the right to use that as grounds for divorce.  If you'd been screwing around too, then that disqualified adultery as grounds, as well.)

Sometimes abandonment was acceptable grounds, and sometimes it wasn't.  You'd get cases where a guy just took off one day, never to be heard from again, and his wife couldn't cite grounds for divorce, so she'd have to wait until he was declared legally dead if she wanted to remarry.  That could take years sometimes.

Thanks for the info Captain