regularly cheat on your SOs? Do you feel guilty about?

And how do providers feel about seeing married men vs single ones?

I don't think I could ever cheat on someone, but so many people seem so comfortable with it, so I was just wondering.

I wouldn't be able to live with the guilt.

I said never. Most people on this board said never. Most people in the U.S. said never. Most people in the world said never. And yet, what, 75% of men cheat? And thats the ones that admit to it. I dont know your marital status, but when you have been married for 32 years and your wife stopped having sex with you after about 20 years, then you can come back to me and tell me about your "never".

Have sex taken away for three years due to your spouse' medical issue, and see if it's important. Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. It's a personal decision with two factors, for me: Do it, and keep it to myself. And see a pro who has as much skin in the game as you do.

As of right now, I just can't imagine doing it.

Imo it's not all about sex.
If I had a wife who stopped caring/showing affection, it would be time for a divorce.
There would be no reason for me to stay with her while seeing providers on the side.

I do with providers but not otherwise.  I have zero interest in a traditional affair.  What i want is occasionally to hook up with someone other than my wife who will disappear after our encounter.  Providers are perfect.  

I plan to take  it to my grave -- no friends, no priests, no shrinks.  I'm exceptionally careful (out of town only, pre-screening via p411, email/google voice only to disconnected accounts, and zero other connection to reality).

I'm confidant that my wife, who, frankly, is damn hot and lots of fun in bed, will never know as long as I remain this careful.  And if she does find out, she's going to forgive this more easily than an affair.

I love her.  I also like having sex with other people.  Tha doesn't seem incompatible.  

Guilt?  I'll feel like shit if she finds out because it would hurt her that I hid it.  Otherwise, nope.  It has improved our sex life, made me and a number of providers happy, and hurts no one.

There might be one or two reasons running out to see what's under the tree at Christmas.  Also, you might just want some strange.  Most guys are wired that way.  If not, awesome for you, but until you have been there you have no idea how you will feel.  I'd have said the same thing, but it turns out I really love a) my wife and b) occasionally having sex with strangers.

"As of right now..." See you already switched off of "never". And "no reason" to stay? Tell that to my 5 kids, 3 of which still live at home, that would be crushed to see their parents split. You seem like a decent guy but you speak of things you do not know. I am not making fun of you, just saying walk in my shoes then tell me how all the decisions you would make would be so perfect. Life is much more gray than black and white, imho.

I would MUCH prefer the man I marry to see providers rather than have an affair which likely carries some degree of emotional involvement.  And...I'd prefer simply not to know about it.  Most men want strange sometimes - always have always will.

You make a good point about using the word never, so I rephrased to "as of right now."
I can't predict the future and a lot can change from now until death.

Your point reminds me of how my ex and I used to say "we want X amount of kids" and friends and relatives with kids would say "have one first and see if you want another." I have yet to experience the hardships of parenthood and having children, so it's difficult to place myself into your shoes and point of view regarding cheating on your SO with providers.

None of your fucking business. If you feel guilty, it is your fucking problem. Quit the hobby if you partita the or go see a shrink.

What is with you dumb fucks? Don't you know asking personal questions is rude?

No sense in beating the dead horse. I think this topic has been pretty well covered. In fact there is a long thread from a week or so ago.

How do you define cheating and sex?
The two are often very different.
I have a number of clients who tell me, They love and adore thier wives and the sex is still good. but sometimes they just want the taste and smell of something new.. Kind of like having to eat a hamburger every single day.. sometimes you just want a steak.. Is that cheating?

Now,, as a lady, there was a time that I had a SO and he did not know how I made ends meet. I felt awful about living a lie.. but I came home to him everyday and loved only him. There were things that I saved for just he and I.. ( I did not see it as cheating but he did have the right to know.. We actually had somewhat of an open relationship so I am certain he would have been ok with the physical part of my job) just not the lie.... big difference..

I love the question that men ask.. Are you married, when I know damn good and well they are and they are seeing me.. I usually then ask them. " are you" what difference does it make and is it really any of your business or mine?

I don't care if you are married. I do care that you are a gentleman. I am not here to judge you.

An affair is much more dangerous when EMOTIONS are involved!!!!! That is how I define cheating..

Now that I have shared all of that.. If you feel as if this is cheating then don't play.. You have to do what is right for you. I have actually asked a gentlman to leave  before we even got to the fun stuff because all he talked about was how much he loved his wife and god and guilt, etc, etc, etc.. I did not want to be the reason why he layed awake at night hating himself and feeling guilty..

never happen. Seems every time I use that word, I end up doing the very thing I said I would never do. Do I feel guilty about the part I play in this? Yes, at times, but only when a man is very vocal about how much he loves his wife, is very nervous, or just unsure. I tend to not see those men again either, because it's obvious they are conflicted about it. Let them see a woman who does not give a fk.

Though I have never cheated on a mate, I don't much care what others do. I won't fk a married man for free, but sure...I will use your money to better my own life so you can get your rocks off lol. It's a win/win. I want nothing romantic with the men I see, and most of them feel the same about me. If I were out fkin married men for free with the hopes of them leaving their wives for me, I would feel much worse.




-- Modified on 12/6/2012 12:14:41 PM

Everyone is different and everyones situation is different, unique to themselves.

I do not sit in judgement on anyone,Provider or Hobbiest.

I consider ALL who cheat on their partners to be p.o.s. and lower than rat feces!

The majority of the people here have a partner in their life that they care about. I feel sorry for you if someone hurt you so badly that you are making such a generalized  statement.

Some people are here in a transition out of a marriage  that may be over except for the paperwork.