The obvious answer is yes. So, how is it that a provider, who has many good reviews and has been around for a while, can be so bad at several things?
I was just with a lady. She's been around, has several pages of 8's and 9's, has sexy pics on her website, but I had the most horrible time with her.
It wasn't a personal chemistry thing, which I would recognize and take into account; imo, it was technique and execution that were poor.
For example, the blow job was the most strange I've ever had--hard and fast, no variation, like a job that had to be done and out of the way. I asked for ball licking, and it actually hurt--a first. I had to give an extreme amount of guidance for everything, something I've never had to do. DATY was a chore--no kissing the thighs, go slow, go gentle, etc. The kissing was an almost fight. I was so unexcited, I went soft inside of her, even though she had all the canned porno lingo going, etc.
But she was a cool lady, we chatted afterwards and that wasn't awkward at all. So, I don't think it was because I repulsed her or something, lol.
I know that many will attribute it to YMMV or my own problem, but I've been with probably 40 providers, and this is a first.
Seems that some remedial education is in order or something.
I conclude that regardless of all the experience, some people do not learn certain things. Are some ladies a natural? I have to conclude, yes. Or that they are able to pick up what men like and how to do it well.
not to make excuses. but, if she has good reviews she must know what she is doing. Perhaps she had other things on her mind and/or was having a bad day. If something was stressing her that much though that she could not perform well, she should have rescheduled with you.
Not trying to excuse a bad experience since it really shouldn't be excusable given the cost involved but maybe she just had an off day since you said she had great reviews.
It seems strange to say that she doesn't know how to do it right when she's obviously made other men happy enough to give her a high rating.
One possibility, and I sort of cringe at bringing it up, is that guys are so darned visually oriented that it *could* be that her prior reviews showed performance numbers that were enhanced by visual reaction.
Some studies about the workplace show that more attractive women, given the same objective performance, are rated more highly for that performance than less attractive female peers. Even if the person doing the rating is also female.
Well, in the hobby, the session IS the workplace. MAYBE her reviews reflect performance numbers that, were her appearance a 5 instead of 9-10, would be much lower.
(Please notice, also, that rates tend to more closely follow appearance scores than performance scores. This likewise reflects that more attractive women are likely to be paid more in other jobs as well.)
I'm NOT saying this is the case; but it is something to consider.
Then there are other possibilities. Maybe she was just trying to get you off to get you gone. Not necessarily for any reason pertaining to you, but maybe she had an emergency call just before you arrived or something. Maybe she had just had a fight with her boyfriend and her mind wasn't really on-task. Maybe .. maybe ...maybe. You get it.
I've found that when ladies try to get me off in a hurry; it paradoxically makes it more difficult for them to succeed. Turning up the sensuality is more likely to get me off than turning up the stimulation.
... 'It's up to the provider to make sure the date is good." A one-size-fits-all approach doesn't work with the majority of guys. Her good reviews may be inflated "Me, too" reviews because she is such a nice person. Being a good provider is hard work & they don't earn $$, $$$, or more just by showing up, imo.
I think the provider can, by herself, make the date decent, but I believe both have to work to make it "good".
Back to the original question I would say that what you describe often IS a learned set of actions. I saw a very highly reviewed provider who did much as you describe. She was so hot and so nice I had a great evening in spite of her approach to things. A few dates in I felt comfortable enough to talk with her about it and learned that she did the fast & furious thing because most her regulars were young 20-somethings and that is what they liked.
After our talk she admitted she didn't actually enjoy things that way. With some practice and encouragement she changed her approach, changed her name, changed her immage, and became much happier. Still got 9s & 10s, just from a different clientelle.
My "performance" is no different from one date to the next - probably a 6 on the Performance scale - but providers who know what they're doing EARN 7-8-9s for making the date special. Does anyone enjoy being with someone who just lays there? No matter how much ya try, that kinda provider isn't gonna be a good date. Does anyone enjoy being with someone who is so routine that you can predict her next move? Those who use a one-size-fits-all approach for younger & older clients alike don't satisfy their clients as much as they could.
The girl is the X factor between a blah date & a good date. That's why WE pay THEM, no?
Of course either side can kill the date, as you describe above.
But if the guy does not communicate, does not do his homework, and acts poorly, then the resultant mediocre date is part his fault as well.
I expect we have all heard pals say (or read reviews) that "she was heavier than I expected so I couldn't get too interested" when her web site clearly shows she's a BBW. Sme thing with being a redhead vs blonde, etc. If she has accurate photos but the guy didn't look and therefore had a less than stellar evening that is on him.
Or the guy who complains "she didn't pay any attention to my earlobes so I couldn't cum", but he never said anything about earlobes to her. Was she supposed to read his mind?
And we all know guys who come straight from the 2 hr gym workout without remembering to shower (only a slight exageration).
Yes, some responsibility is on the provider to make a date special. Some is also on the client. Paying the tab does not absolve a guy from his part.
No one, least of all me, can answer what is going on in someone's head. Imagine if I could though.
no one taught me...i just pay attention to what touches, lick, nibbles or whatever bring forth the desired effect. of course, there are times i get greedy and basically use him to get me off. sometimes i want to be the user, sometimes i want to be used. (i am weird like that)
No kissing thighs? Crazy. What it does lead you to ....nothing. If you can't even kiss the thighs? What kind of DATY can you expect?
Going soft inside of someone? Tragic
She was at ease when it was all over.
Kissing was uncomfortable.
It sounds like a date with a wife.
When you have an encounter with a real woman who is in touch with her body and yours and enjoys making your juices flow and it makes her juices flow, you will remember it. And then you will have met a Teacher.
Sadly, some ladies think every guy wants a porn movie re-make. As much as I enjoy a good sport fuck, if I'm not convinced she's into it (audit isn't that hard) then it's not worth the time it would take to jerk off.
The best providers know how to read a man and adjust as needed. Of course, this is true of anyone in a relationship.
Honestly, I had to take lessons. Sex lessons. Really!! One of my boyfriends, when I was younger, told me I didn't kiss right. So after that I was always self conscious about my skills. I took lessons on how to give a great hand job. Watched countless videos on how to give a good blow job. I'm always taking clinicals about sensual massage, sex toys, and things of that nature. Recently I found a sex store near my town that gives classes on anal play, touching, licking, and F**king, and all sorts of other things. You can bet I'll be signed up for them.
I also just saw a provider put out a video on how to eat pussy. (can't remember where I saw that.... if anyone knows... ??)
But, I think too many ladies think that all it takes to be a good provider is to lay down and spread the legs. Obviously, no one can say why you in particular had a bad session. But, I know that I am always learning and I hope some of it has paid off in the bedroom.
It's all fun but the more you know the funner it is, I think.
practice makes perfect, and don't be afraid to try doing it differently...
I have also noticed... it seems that some recent appointments with total hotties have resulted in somewhat average (or worse) performance results, IMO. I think I have had the best times from the average-good looking GND types. I think too many guys give too many of the hotties performance points for being hot.
I am sure there are some truly gorgeous providers that truly deserve high performance scores, but so far, in my experience, I have not seen it - at least very often.
learn how to make a sexual encounter seem like torture! Ever notice, when a guy writes a review, the BBBJ he got was "the best he's ever had"? WTF? Quit lying to us! Then you get there and all she does is wrap her lips around her teeth, and go up and down. No spit, no sucking...I asked her to quit and gimme a hand job, just to get it over with. Even YMMV (which should be illegal), should not get that bad. Did you maybe eat a shit and red onion sandwich before you got there? Streaked drawers,complete with dingleberries? Did you wear some cologne that smelled like ass? If not, that ain't YMMV, that's getting hosed!
The provider was consistently rated extremely highly, but none of her techniques worked on me. Her kissing felt strange, her blow job felt strange, and I just went limp because I was taken by surprise. I managed to get it up again with some porn, but the minute she tried to blow me I went limp again because her technique was so distracting. Never happened with any other provider before or after.
The best, by far, that I've experienced was also the youngest. She was 20, and her BJ, her CG, MISH, kissing, everything was spectacular. She knew how to do everything, she didn't just have one specialty. And her looks was a 10 as well. And no, I'm not just remembering her performance as better than it was because she looked so good. She was completely in touch with her sensuality and it was more like love making than sport fucking. I've been with providers twice her age that didn't have her skills.
I think there has to be sex appeal...a sexual component inside the gal...some women just have this certain sex appeal....it comes from within. It's not all physical either. Passion in the heart. Just my opinion...
Depends on the guys vibe I can tell if he wants me to task it easy on him or if he's ready to go all out.... i'm fairly energetic so I ind of lol not attack but get pretty passionate so i'm going to do my own thing on you unless you speak p. But wow that's odd for someone to get reviews like that on performance but you had such a bad time...real scalp scratcher.
But I sympathize because as a provider i'll say like most of your experiences have well well so have mine but there comes that one every now and then weird visit you can't explain why it didn't sit right with you.
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