Question for Providers and Clients:

For instance, right now, I’m having a super shitty day.  

When I see my massage client tonight for the first time and he wants to go further than small talk, should I suck it all in and keep it light, or does it actually make clients feel closer to us when we’re open about both the ups and the downs?

I don’t want to dump all of my woes on someone who wants to just relax and experience a fantasy of happiness and eroticism.

If you have a pipe break, you don't want the random plumber you called to tell you about how shitty of a day he's having.

Now, if your plumber is a known guy, he's worked on your house for years, you're friendly, maybe not about to go out and  grab a beer with the guy normally, but, he's the guy you call, you trust him, if he's having a bad day, you'd be alot more open to talking about it, maybe even cracking a beer when he's finished and shooting the shit a little.

 
At the end of the day, servicing pipe is servicing pipe, you can probably pick which version of the story you land in. If your client's into it, mutual massage can be pretty spicy, and a pouty face and a genuine ask on your part would probably leave you both relaxed and satisfied.

 
 If you're asking if  you should vent on the guy willy nilly about how shitty your day is, no, absolutely not, call one of your girl friends for that duty, guys are bad at being a good venting location in the best of circumstances, it stresses most men out because most men want to fix what you just want to talk about. Booking you for a massage isn't the best of circumstances, so it's just going to leave everyone involved frustrated.

But first of all, and most importantly, I want to say how sorry I am that you are having a bad day. That really sucks. We have all been there and thankfully, they don't last forever. What I do in those situations is try and remind myself that someone, some place else, has it much worse than I do. It's a psychological ploy that really helps me at times.
Back to your question...you did say this is the first time meeting this person so my initial reaction is to keep it light. He may be coming to you bc he is having a rough week and may be looking for escape.  
However, if he mentions something negative in his life, that would open the door for you to talk about your crappy day. He may appreciate your openness and honesty, if he shared his troubles, as that may make him feel like he isn't the only one going through tough times and you may bond over it.  
Looking at it from a different perspective, personally, I actually feel quite helpful and trusted when a provider is open with difficult matters in their life with me. It has allowed me to get close to several as they know they wont be hit with any judgment from me nor will I think less of them. Letting people vent can be so cathartic/helpful for both parties.  
I think you are going to have many different answers to this too. Some men, and ladies, always want rainbows and sunshine while playing in this realm and that is their right. Thats exactly what I wanted when I first started out, thats for sure.  
I would also add the length of the date can help or hurt this scenario. For example, if it's a one hour meet up, that will be a lot more difficult to go down this road with a client than if say you were meeting for a 4-5 hour date.
Good luck to you either way and I hope you feel better soon.

I appreciate that every woman I meet in P4P is a 3-dimensional human with a real life that extends in every direction beyond the hour we will spend together.  

But there's the rub. I only have an hour. And being a moderately compassionate human, I'm unlikely to be in the mood to ask you to put your ankles behind your ears while the thoughts of your shitty boyfriend or the latest rent increase or that your boss denied you a raise is floating in the air between us.

Having said that, I've been happy to talk with a lady about all manner of personal issues outside of a session. There are a handful of ladies to whom I've given advice, to whom I've listened about all kinds of issues, and with whom I've commiserated at length. And so we keep the two apart.

If it is a first time I would suggest NOT treating him like your bartender or priest.

The usual female method is to find orbiting simps who think that being a sympathetic ear will eventually get them laid.  So it might work on a certain type of client.
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But the universal answer would be to be professional and send them on their way with pleasant memories.

Honestly, some clinets may love your honesty and feel this is what a real girlfriend would do, total GFE move. Others will be annoyed at why you are sharing your baggage with them when they came for their pleasure. They want a show, not the real you. The best thing to do is ask and see what the clinet prefers before unloading on them.

That this would technically be an authentic GFE!

All jokes aside, I can only speak for myself, of course. Things got too familiar with two different providers over the years. One in particular to the point that it felt like she used our time together to vent about anything and everything since the last time we’d seen each other. I allowed it to go on for too long without saying anything which puts some fault on me. It got to the point where I felt burdened with her problems whenever I saw her. Seeing her was becoming emotionally draining to me, and I drifted away after being a regular for quite some time.

Fast forward and a different one I was starting to become a regular with began venting during sessions also. I learned ku lesson from the prior situation, and did my best to let her know that I was glad she felt comfortable being that open with me, but that I also wanted her to respect the fact that I wanted my time with her to be a stress releasing experience. I told her that I welcomed the conversation but wanted us to focus on the positive rather than the negative. I instantly caught the vibe that she was turned off by what I said despite the amount of tact I tried to use, and the rest of that session plus the following and final session were cold and businesslike.

I’ve also met those who seemed to feel instantly comfortable enough to go off on other providers and/or clients or what have you, and I knew instantly that this would be my only visit. Mayhaps this is one of the attractions to using K-agencies for some of us — the language barrier naturally keeps things light and somewhat impersonal for the most part.

I’m not saying to NEVER speak openly about how things are going, but to perhaps be considerate of not only who you speak openly to but also how often you might do so with that person. This actually reminds me of a new saying I’ve heard a lot recently. Always remember that “your boyfriend is not your girlfriend.”

END OF MESSAGE

...some on our first meeting and others after several dates. Perhaps because I'm female they felt a greater ease and felt comfortable enough to want to talk and sometimes vent about the type of day, week or month that they were having. I didn't mind a bit and it actually brought us that much closer during the physical part of our date. There was one time, tho, where I felt the provider catch herself after I assume she thought she might have got a bit carried away and revealed too much about her private life. I assured her there was nothing to be concerned about and everything always stays in "the vault".

is the hard one.

 
I recently had an extended session with my current favorite.  She is aesthetically beautiful, but also an interesting person.  So, I'm happy for us to spend some of our recovery time during our session engaging in familiar conversation.

 
However, she chose this particular meeting to share the character flaws of each and everyone of her family members and the various ways in which they've disrespected her.  The entire exchange consumed nearly half of our time.  And I, unfortunately, was unable to decide on a strategy for getting the subject back on adult fun.  Fortunately, time had not run out when she herself became aware of the time, and the fun resumed.

 
The moral:  Please remember that your client is paying you to brighten what may be an otherwise mediocre world.  Despite what he may claim politely, please leave him with fond memories of your time together.

Only providers I’ve gotten to know very well have shared such information with me. I think using your own intuition is the only way to determine if it’s appropriate for you to share your emotional state with a client.

knowing if a provider was having a super-shitty day or is in a great mood for the next customer, which might be me if I could find this out.  Providers should add a renewable text box on the first page of their website that says what kind of mood they are in so we can decide whether to book or not.  IMO, warning off potential customers on a bad day is preferable in the big picture than giving them a shitty session and then they never repeat.  It would be taking a "big picture" approach to your business.  

 
With that said, I could name some super-simps here who would love to see a provider when she's low, cuddle with them and listen to their woes, so having a "flag" on your website would not necessarily mean a "shitty day warning" would also be a day with no business at all. For me, if a provider is having a bad day, I would NOT want to feel closer, but rather farther away.  

This is incredibly insightful and helpful. Thank you very much! I tend not to vent even to my own friends and family, but I’ve gotten feedback in sessions that clients really do want to hear more about “me,” and “how I’m doing,” and not just the books we’re reading or general sexy things lol.

Thank you very much! This particular client seems to be the opposite of you in that respect, (I don’t want to call him a simp lol), and so I did end up creating a little index card for myself with some things about my day that I felt were light enough not to ruin that mood, but actually did get a bit off of my chest. (Annoying campus admin up my ass, my associate professor always leaving me with her classes and then micromanaging from the Catskills smh, etc) and he seemed very happy!  

Thank you again, so, so much, as this gives much insight into why even sharing the above might be a turn off to one client or a connective experience to another ♥️

I really enjoyed reading about your evolution in this respect, thank you so much. I played it by ear, settled somewhere in between, and I think it worked out very well.  

And thank you so much for your personal well wishes. You are so sweet and kind. That really did mean a lot.

Clients see providers to feel good, not worse off than when they walked in. If a provider feels the need to unburden her woes on a client, then she should be paying him just as she would have to pay a therapist.

-- Modified on 2/17/2024 11:35:24 AM

Oh no, haha, thank you for the answer, but in our initial messages, this client seemed to be very interested (more than usual) in my day and my vanilla profession and was asking lots of questions even after booking and paying outcall deposit, but I’d rather not lie, so I was more asking if it’s like… “real” interest that I should actually accommodate or if it’s “polite but intense interest” that I should gently and politely redirect in turn. Thank you for your answer again!

I offer FBSM and FS, but yeah it was a bit of a strange situation with lots of initial, intense interest in my day to the point where I wasn’t sure if I should just assume it’s polite but intense interest that I should redirect or if I should actually share a bit more.  

I appreciate your sharing, thank you.

Don’t want to hear about your bs. I just got a couples massage at the Bellagio & silence was the highlight. I hate hearing the massage therapist trying to talk to me when I am trying to relax. They pay for peace. Be their peace.  

If you’re on a dinner date you talk all you want dear, but never for a massage. My personal opinion. Let the man enjoy his 1 hour massage. Suck it up buttercup.

It's not really a difference between a plumber and an escort type job.  It is a difference in gender.  As a guy recently rather famously posted on twitter the other day, he said his wife and daughters would rather see him die on his white horse than to fall.  Men are not allowed to be weak.  

Thanks! That’s what I always thought too, which is why I was confused by his intense interest in conversation for this specific type of booking. I’ll definitely err on the side of polite redirection in the future.

Sometimes when I’m having a shitty day, having a provider’s luscious lips around my member is just what I need to cheer up! Rather than share what a shitty day I’ve had, I’ll let the provider know how much better she’s making my day! Can’t that feeling be mutual? From this point forward, the cup is half full!

In this case I agree with the previous advice. Keep it light and professional.

 
In my case, if I am a regular with a lady I don't mind them sharing up and down details of their lives and we share a lot more with each other than anyone would or should on a first meeting. But in the end it all depends on the  two people involved.

Just like in civie life there are some friends that I can tell anything to and some that I wouldn't go that far with. Still friends, but on a different level.