Look, this has been said many times in many ways- but you're looking for love in all the wrong places.

The point is, this is NOT A DATING SERVICE.  If you want to meet women and express your feelings, and have those feelings reciprocated, then you need to use dating sites, not escort sites.  The reasons these ladies are having sex with you is you're paying them.  Returning your feelings isn't part of the deal.  And if this is the only place you can find women that appear to be interested in you, then you have other issues you should examine.

The source of your feelings isn't the issue, we all are attracted to members of the opposite sex.  The problem is with the way you are misinterpreting your feelings for a P4P sexual encounter, and trying to make them into something they aren't.

The women that get into escorting are attractive, friendly, and try to please you- all the time, every time.  That's the service they're offering, and most of them are good at it.  But it's all about creating fantasy and illusion for your benefit and enjoyment.  And frankly, if you can't differentiate between that and reality, you really should quit torturing yourself with P4P.

but I have found that I've learned how to keep a certain equalibrium and not get possessive.

If I was very young still, I'm not sure how I would react.

I can understand the reasoning for so many providers shunning guys under 30.

.... the photography is so good that you can zoom way in on the lady and end up with a 12 x 20 monitor screen completely filled with a spread wide, crisp, clean and clear close up of a yummy young pussy.

Keep em coming Scoed Ol Buddy !

i know you all have this un-spoken rule about not getting involved. what if you really do establish feelings for someone? do you run scared? do you approach the person whom you have feelings for? we're all human you know. having the innate need and desire to be cared for and to care for. please tell me that the ability to be shallow isnt a pre-requisite for p4p? i've engaged in casual sexual encounters but i was initially attracted to them. you all rarely even know what both sides look like.

You don't wake up one day all of a sudden and realize that "Oh Shit !!! You are in love with this hooker". There are telltale signs that you are falling for her. When those signs start appearing, you stop seeing her and go see someone else.

In other words, you don't let it snowball to the stage that you will be running around scared...

I got away from her at the right time, and I am glad that I did.  For relationships, there is always eHarmony.

It's not that I don't ever get feelings. I do. But this is another world and not my real life and I hate to say this is business but you must keep the two worlds where they belong...

I have had 2 clients that I stopped seeing for such a reason. One wanted more then I could give. Geez, He is a married man with a family. It's one thing to have a sexual affair it is far more disrespectful and wrong to have an emotional affair... Yes even escorts have morals..!

The other one. well, I hate that I meet him the way I did.. If only.. But that was not the case and sometimes life is unfair..I think he had a problem with what I do on the side.

I am lucky in that, I like most everyone and can find something genuine and attractive about you even if you are not The Sexiest Man Alive..THere have been times when I had nothing to work with and those are the times when IT DOES NOT HAPPEN..

P.S. I have several friends in this little world who care for me and about me! THANK YOU!

or don't need to deny such feeling because believe or not, I've never fallen in love with anyone in my life.

I'm starting to have an emotional connection with one lady I see, and it's very satisfying, at least for me.  We help each other out in small ways outside our sessions.  I know it's not the real world, and she's not looking for a boyfriend and I'm not looking for a girlfriend.  And, I guess if one of us started asking for "big" favors, that would have to be the end of it.

But, for me, hobbying is not just all about raw, physical sex.  In fact, that's less important, the longer I'm in the hobby, and the more important emotional connection becomes--on at least some level.  Maybe I'm naive, and maybe I'll be sadder but wiser a year from now.  But, I don't get much satisfaction from "just" sex.  Don't get me wrong: I love the sex, but I need good conversation, and sometimes just cuddling and stroking, with no sex.

-- Modified on 1/15/2012 6:26:06 PM

No you don't have to become shallow. I have made two very close friendships out of women I have met though this game. I have also made one long distance friend out of a lady through TER PMs and latter phone calls. I care for each. I would even say I love each of them as friends, but I am not in love with them. I don't allow myself to see them as more than friends and would cut them off as friends if they pursed more than that.

It is important to maintain mental boundaries in this game. If you can not this game is not for you. You can care for those meet but it must stop there. You also must be ready to walk away and never see them again. If that is no longer true you must cut out the P4P part. If you are not able to have a relationship, you must ether make it just a friendship or walk.

I limit how often I see on a professional level the ladies to no more one two hour session a month and any other time I am with them must be platonic. No more than a quick hug or hand shake.

Now if this post is about a relationship you currently have you need to be honest with yourself and think thing though. I have know other advice that I can give on these boards. Just remeber you are the other woman.

I'll be passing through your town at the end of Feb. and will be happy to hook up and stake you to All- the-McRibs-U-Can-Eat.

I limit myself to one two hour session every two months not every month. That limitation was my wife's idea and it was wise.

Here is a photo to make up for the error. Photo is of Rylee A from MetArt.com.

But if my heath is up to it I would gladly meet up. Give me a PM on when.

A photo for all those that read this post. Photo is of Lika C and is from MetArt.com.

I lick, er like, her pretty little pussy though...

i don't deny my feelings. i become fond to some degree of the favorites i have seen. BUT there is a built in safety mechanism. it isn't foolproof but it is pretty good.

if i've seen you more than once i like you and care. if i see you twice or more there is something about you such that i care a lot. the key is i won't fall in love unless there is pretty much an invitation to do so. i also don't accept every 'invitation'. i don't even notice every invitation. of the major SO relationships i've had about half of the half dozen had to practically hunt me down before i noticed that they were available. one actually confessed that she had stalked me on the internet and in real life. (i hadn't noticed, this was a 'confession' about 6 months into a long affair.)

i remain friends with ladies in the biz who have retired even though there are no "benefits". i like solitude. but i also like to make a connection and spend time with folks with whom i can exchange a mutually agreeable level of care.

One of my earliest providers really got to me.  On my way home from our first date I cursed myself for having got married before finding this girl (having been married 15+ years with children at the time).  Saw her several more times, got her personal number, started taking her out to lunch/malls/other places before spending the hour at a hotel.  This goes on and off part-time for over a year.  After a two months apart we go to lunch again.  The conversation was drastically different from our earlier encounters.  She wanted this, she wanted that…what a nag she turned into.  Got to the hotel and her performance was a 3.  The relationship did last somewhat longer but I learned the moral of the story during that specific date.

Moral of the hobby: these girls are actors, “performing” for one hour for $300.  What you get in the room is not what you would get the other 23 hours in the day.  The relationship you imagine would makes a good story but will never come to life, other than the next hour you pay for.

5+ years later that girl is retired, I have a new AFT, still married.

your years.

Do I have feelings?  Yes.  I am fond of...  even like a lot...  maybe even love a little...  my few favorite ladies.   The closest of these I do care for.  I know her life & we are friends on some level.  We both know & agree there's no where for this relationship to go unless there is a tragic accident.  As a decent person, no one would wish a tragedy on another.  
You can approach the other party...  cautiously...  and see if she has feelings for you.  But be prepared for it to blow up in your face.  Do not do so in bed.  Approach her in a non-sexual situation.   We dare not say that "It never works" because there are super-rare exceptions.  But it does rarely work out & provider relationships are a minefield.
Would she stop working?  Could you support her?  Could you NEVER throw providing back in her face in anger?
Would she keep providing?  Would you be jealous & cause her problems?  
If she is not interested you are probably done as her client...  know that going in.  Clingy clients become stalkers & are major trouble for providers...  

Tread lightly & think long & hard before you say anything.
skb

"Moral of the Hobby?"
It's good to know the bottom line in any monetary transaction. But I have to throw out a comment on your view that these "girls are actors, performing for one hour for $300". The way you say this sounds so degrading and potentially disappointing to both parties. Perhaps it is better to engage in the fantasy for your one hour. Let yourself go, let her be awesome, and then leave. You know you've participated in a fantasy, not "real life" with all it's difficulties. But you can leave the "theater" having fully enjoyed the 3-D experience. And she can go let her hair down with someone in her civie life. Ypu may have learned this from the experience you relate above, but from your comment you sounded a bit burned.

Delivering warmth and kindness, respect and appreciation is a skill worth every dollar. I was taught at a young age to pay attention to the needs of others, to be charming, and to take pleasure from pleasing. As an adult, with years of being in the corporate world behind me, I can now return to what I learned as a young girl. Only now I am able to tell the difference between my "trained to please" self and my "regular" self. When I am with a gentleman who is kind enough to pay me for my time, I am on my best behavior. And I am good at being kind, intuitive, gracious, and entertaining.

Of course I usually get back what I put out, but that's another story.

The other part of this is that I always treat the gentleman with respect. Both parties participate in this construct we call the hobby and both benefit by it. If you stay out of our private lives, we will typically stay out of yours. It's generally a good practice, though there are no absolutes, unfortunately.

and it's her job". Not my quote, but one from a wise sage that responded to similar post of mine. I enjoy the romance, writing romantic messages, saying romantic things, and feeling the emotions, but I know the above is true and I keep it in perspective, got to, I'm married, and I love my wife, and besides it's not my reality, it's my fantasy.  What you may be experiencing is FFAP, "falling for a provider".  If you do a search you will find several threads that discusses it with recomendations on how to deal with it.  It's a frequent post and I'm surprised you not getting a few "oh no, not this again responses"; but I've gotten the impression the "old heads" here have been asked to behave themselves.  Personally on posts like these, I think their bashing can be helpful.

Recommendations that I remember,

See more providers, don't get exclusive
Pay for her time, do not seek off the clock dates, keep it professional
Keep reminding yourself it's a fantasy, and be grateful you found one that's good at that aspect of her job ( they are hard to find, and it's not something they can advertise or "put on the menu")

Enjoy the fantasy, it's a temporary escape from reality, not a replacement.

My BFF is a provider. Obviously, if we are very close friends there are feelings of some sort on both sides and they were obviously expressed.

So not all feelings or expressions of feelings are a problem.

It is my belief that when bad things happen, people profoundly misunderstand the origin of those bad things, and misattribute them to the person they dated being a provider/hobbyist or the circumstances under which they met such as a bar, through the hobby or whatever.

The fact of the matter is that everyone is an individual and should be judged as such on his/her own merits, and not as part of a group such as providers/hobbyists/black/muslim/whatever.

And when things go awry, they have gone awry due to the individuals involved, without regard to their group memberships. And, most often, they go wrong on BOTH sides to varying degrees.

It is just too simple -- and wrong -- to assume every provider/hobbyist/democrat/whatever is a bad romantic risk, etc.

So I believe people should do what they wish, take their own initiative, take responsibility for themselves and not let a bunch of faux peer pressure from a message board dissuade them.

I understand that people wish to avoid risk -- risk of many things, but most importantly risk of pain, especially emotional pain.

Hey, I dig it -- emotional pain sucks. HOWEVER -- a life without risk of pain also comes with a substantially decreased potential for joy. That is, I think, something very important to consider.

It never ceases to amaze me the men I know who have taken fantastic risks in the military or in business where a miscalculation could end their lives or result in bankruptcy, but they put their tails between their legs and run for the hills at the first hint of feelings for a woman.

Yes, of course, romantic entanglements can get messy and there can be pain -- but there can also be joys you would never experience without taking some risks.

No risk = no reward

Just sayin'.

they ave to have gone well before. that is a trivial precondition for things going wrong but also a necessary prior condition.

there has to be some degree of mutual misunderstanding. as is the case with civy relationships, there is chemistry based on some projection of internal desires. the initial chemistry lasts as long as that projection is successful. if it fails, it the illusion is too disconnected from reality then there is the usual difficulty of disaffection.

for my part, this is why i have come to prefer providers who are exactly who they present themselves to be. that does not rule out play. it does minimize misunderstandings and unpleasant drama.

pleasant drama is always entertaining and welcome, though.

Or even if she has eyes, lol

rilee marks is the mr's favorite visual past time. i will inform him of her presence again if he hasnt already seen it. this thread had nothing to do with my emotions mr. scoed. i'm well aware of my place in the large scheme of things.

All of it depends on what you are capable of handling as mature adults. If you haven’t matured, then there is only one type which is head-over-heals in heat and end doing stupid things.

i agree completly. to simply discount any possibility seems counter-productive in my opinion. i will not deny my emotional heritage.


TY mr. Galt muah!

What would she nag you about?

If it happens it happens.  When I was providing in VT I dated a potential client.  We talked quite a bit on the phone and just got together for coffee.  He never paid me.  Unfortunately I do believe he was a sex addict, porn addict and also pathological liar lol.  and ive had several that wanted to date me in VT and MA.  One guy tried to break my door down!!!!  and refused to take no for an answer!  I set it to him straight.  You can always turn the relationship into a friends with benefits.  But be careful dating a client of hobbyist!

I completely agree with Jill's assessment.

I've posted this a couple of times, but a great Canadian provider once said she fell in love with all of her clients - for an hour. I do the same - fall in love with the provider I am seeing - for the hour that I see her.

So it's not a question of denying my feelings. For example, I've seen Jill twice and fell completely in love with her for the grand total of three hours that I spent with her. But Jill who? Jill the provider or the civilian Jill?

There is a difference between denying your feelings and understanding your feelings.