I recently made an appointment with a well-reviewed provider whom I've never seen before. Provider's incall location was a good distance away from me, and when I made the appointment I made sure she knew I was coming a long way to see her. I gave her a lot of background information--way more than I am usually comfortable doing--because of her good reviews. I took work off to see her, and she knew that too.
Drove all the way to the designated meeting place and contacted her. She cancelled out of nowhere, told me she had an impossible situation. So upsetting. Not only am I still horny, I'm steamed, I drove a long way for nothing, and I wasted a day off of work. And she offered nothing to make up for it.
P.S. I have many reviews over the years with no complaints. This isn't an issue with me.
Now, if I flaked so badly on a provider, I would get a problem report. Can I write a review about this provider, pointing out her extremely bad behavior? I feel like she needs to be shamed with a bad review so she either stops doing this or people are warded off. I saw nothing about this in her previous reviews, so maybe TER doesn't allow such reviews to be published, but they should be.
Thoughts?
The rules have always been "there has to be a meeting in order to have a review"
That strong NO has evolved into a weak "maybe" lately. I have seen some reviews where, just like in your case, no meeting ever happened. i don't know if your review will be approved, but you could give it a shot I suppose. You have nothing to lose but a few more minutes of your time by trying. I would suggest you add as much detail as is possible for a date that never happened, and if the TER Gods are smiling that day, you never know.
If money was sent and no meeting took place, he can review her as a ripoff. However just a no show by her, with no money sent to her by him, will not be reviewable. Then again, I know as well as you that TER does change their minds and they bend and break their own rules, do you are right that he has nothing to lose but time if he decides to write a review.
I'd suggest you try to contact her again for some type of explanation or offer of apology.
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You said she told you she had an "impossible situation". If that is true, you can (or should) certainly understand that she may not have been able to meet you or even take time to discuss that "situation" with you at the time. We all have life emergencies and we all know that these often require that we prioritize our focus and time on the emergency, even at the expense of being polite or even talking to others. Give her a chance first. If she's well-reviewed and generally has a history of being professional and honest, let her show that.
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If you had encountered an impossible situation on your drive to her, would you have taken extra time to tell her why you wouldn't make the appointment? There are any number of "situations" that could prevent that - from getting arrested to serious medical issues to a catastrophic crisis at your work/company.
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So I suggest you try to connect with her first. If you are not satisfied with her reply (or lack of reply) then flame her here and call it a "job well done." But maybe, just maybe, she will remind you that she's a real human with real life issues - just like you.
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Life is good.
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The Cat
If you had a contractor who left you high and dry on a jobsite with no explanation would you feel like you would have to "call him" to find out his explanation before slamming him on Angie's list?
Or lets say you had to cancel on a client, no matter how good your excuse would you expect HIM to call YOU instead of the other way around for you to explain what happened?
Hookers are small business owners, I hold them to the same standards, no tougher no easier than any one else I do business with.
Fair point, GaGa.
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But the spirit of my post remains... has she tried to contact him? Has he given her time to do so?
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As for me, I certainly expect my contractors and employees (when I had them) to contact me ASAP if a target will be, or has been missed. Not doing so will just add to my negative evaluation/review of them. But I don't cut loose a contractor or employee relationship that I've already invested in without trying to get an understanding of WTF happened. Maybe I'm just a California Pussy and not a Texas Hard Ass? :p
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Life is good.
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The Cat
I kind of agree with Herb on this. I totally appreciate Gaga point on this but I feel that this industry is more imitate and therefore should be more understanding in extreme circumstances. Will just have to wait to see what the issue of the no show was. I too have been in the position of a no-show no call by a well reviewed provider and it turned out to be her flaking out and not the first time. I always like to see how things are explained in the end. I am usually patient.
Sometimes, life happens. Kids and Parents can get sick, cars can break down, work can call you in at the last minute (even when you take the day off). There are many "impossible situations" that can arise very suddenly.
It sucks that you got the short end of the stick. However, have you contacted her since then to see if she can make it up to you? To make sure everything is OK with her and her family/job, etc?
Why not consider the possibility of taking the high road, showing some compassion and empathy, and see if it gets you to a better place than a revenge "rip off" review gets you.
We blast the gals for blacklisting guys who NCNS, saying it should be saved for the more serious offenses. I think it's possible the same may apply here, in reverse.
Try to solve it nicely before letting loose the dogs of war.
I get you're asking a general question so the General board seems to be a good place to pose the questions for feedback.
In terms of assessing if this is really something that needs to be called out it might better be placed on the local board where the appointment was to be held. Others may share a similar experience or might all support that the reviews were well earned and if she failed to notify you the appointed was not happening something serious must have happened. I don't think you can get that type of insight from the General board.
It is VERY unlikely that TER will allow a review, no meeting ever occurred and like Perfect Storm pointed out, no money exchanged hands either.
That said, what he can do is to make a post on his regional board calling her out by name for her bad behavior. One of two things are likely to happen if he does so, either other guys she has done this to will chime in, OR a bunch of White Knights will come out in support for her, or both I suppose. lol Either way, it's most likely the only way he can warn other mongers about her bad behavior.
Oh yes, there is also a chickenshit way to handle it, often recommended by some of the more cowardly guys here and that is to make a post on his regional board, not mention her name and simply tell the board to PM him for details. I have never understood the wisdom of wasting everyone's time that way, but it is an often suggested way to handle it, if you're a chickenshit that is. lol (I figured I'd say it before some mangina suggested it as a actual "good way" to handle it)
Or have you suffered some three+ day fast from hookers or something?
All I said was asking here is great for general thoughts and clarification on specific policies of course. However, if he wanted to get a sense of whether the girl really flaked on him or if he should take it as a one off situation the local board would be better.
Typically when you're agreeing with others you do a better job of expressing yourself. lol
but I did mean what I said about the "chickenshit" way of dealing with this issue. This "advice" has been given by some well meaning but clueless poster almost every time this subject comes up and this subject has come up dozens if not hundreds of times over the years.
And it's very easy to figure out if the girl indeed did flake on him, If she is ever heard from again, by anybody at any time and she did NOT get back to him to apologize, make an excuse, offer to make it up to him, and instead made him reach out to her, than he will know FOR CERTAIN that she flaked on him.
For the life of me I don't know why so many mongers want to forgive the total disrespect of a NCNS so easily. The women are nowhere near so forgiving when it happens to them, nor should they be. I completely support a provider putting a guy on her DNS list, charging a cancellation fee, and/or requiring a "non refundable" deposit from the guy before booking any further sessions if a guy pulls a NCNS on her. I do not believe in a double standard, NCNS is completely disrespectful regardless of who does it.
+1 to everything you've said besides calling the girl a bitch.
The 'chickenshit' way of doing it (I even know who suggests it), is just window dressing for useless jumping through hoops trying to delay/protect public reputation of someone who shouldn't be protected if NCNS happened, on the contrary it should be in public view of everyone.
"Suzy rottencrotch pulled an NCNS on me, that fucking CUNT"
Better??? lol
as for who "suggests : the chickenshit way, there are literally dozens of times that it's not only been suggested but done. Still chickenshit IMO, and I agree how useless it is. It does NOTHING to give consequences to bad behavior and actually encourages more of the same as the girl has it re-confirmed in her mind that there are no consequences for her bad actions, so why should she change?
Then probably no, you can not post review .
But do put her name here on the boards, pls.
Have had this happen to me and I usually give them a chance to explain and make it up to me
If I do not hear from them after two weeks I contact them to see what is up, see what happened, and let them know I am still interested in them and if they are going to do anything for wasting my time
If they do not offer me anything to make up for wasting my time I will usually not bother seeing them
and bad mouth them everywhere I can. Too many of these women could care less about wasting your time or screwing you over. If you had cancelled last minute she would have bee screaming and yelling about it. Probably would blacklist you and bad mouth you everywhere she could. I have learned to not cut these women any slack, it is a business transaction and if they do not hold up their end then they should be penalized for it
Had one girl stand me up when I got there, so I left, when I got home (drove 40 minutes to her) she messaged me about if I was coming. Told her we had an appointment, I was there and she never responded. She tells me something came up and she had to take care of it. Asked if I still wanted to see her, told her I was still interested and what she was going to do to make up for wasting my time. She told me she had apologized to me, what else do I want.
Told her my time is worth more than that and I said I was not interested. She then told me what more should she do, she thought an apology was sufficient and did not understand why I should get more. Now this girl is not hurting for customers so her attitude is understandable. Far too many women have this same attitude and we need to write reviews and out them to put them in their place to let them know we are not going to stand for it anymore
Too many guys are weak and go along to get along.
you cannot review unless you have paid something and did not get it back -- they you can report a rip off but that is a bit different than NCNS.
Something like "Suzy rottencrotch pulled an NCNS on me, that fucking bitch"
It's usually the most you can do, it does let the local community know she's a flake, but in a few days or maybe a bit longer on a slow board the post will slide off the first page and be forgotten about. Sometimes it makes the guy who got stood up feel a little bit better that he did "something" about it.
Yes and that is really the only think that can be done.
I actually had a line in about that as well but deleted it. Figured if all I was going to do was repeat what has already been said here I would at least repeat something that will save someone some time. Would suck to spend the time creating the review after not having any fun and then having the admins reject the review on you.
Rejection after rejection... that's just got to hurt! 
