A week or so I started a thread in which I mentioned some of the less-than-stellar experiences I've had with providers. The last experience that prompted me to start the thread was a provider who, for no reason I could see, called off our date for the next day late the night before, after several days of emails setting it up. An hour or so earlier she was upbeat about our meeting, then it all went south.

In the thread, a lot of people said it was my fault, although nobody could point to something specifically that was my fault. It was just sort of, "it has to be your fault somehow".  That's why I'm posting this, to see if anyone can find where I did something to cause the provider to do what she did.  

I had a date set in the "big city", which is the largest metro area near me. It's an eight-hour round trip drive for me on weekends, and a ten to twelve-hour round trip drive during the week.

I contacted this provider's assistant on Tuesday. I said I'd wanted to see the provider for a long time, and wondered if she had an opening on Saturday afternoon. I suggested 2 pm. I also gave her the names and email addresses of three providers I've seen recently who agreed to be references. All three are very highly reviewed and established providers. I told her I was mid-sixties, thin, clean, and am always considered a gentleman.

I received a thank-you email from the assistant, and in it she said she'd contact me once she had the screening done. On Thursday she emailed to say the screening was complete, and we were good to go for Saturday at 2 pm. She asked that I email two hours before the appointment to confirm.  

That's the extent of the emailing. No jokes, no weirdness, nothing.  

Today I drove to the Big City, and emailed two hours before the appointment. I got an email back from the assistant saying the provider needed to get a hotel, and she'd email as soon as that was set.

An hour later I got an email from the assistant saying that the provider's kid was sick, and she couldn't make the appointment. I drove back home with blue balls.  

So, can anyone see any indication in this that I did something wrong? This is the way almost all of my communications go with providers who are new to me. It's like the dog in the bed. I don't see how that could be due to anything I did.

-- Modified on 12/11/2016 4:47:18 PM

You're jumping thru too damn many hoops, dude.  
Book them or not, find an alternate

You made an appointment at a place 4 hours away - one way.  We've all had appointments fall through on both sides of the aisle. But adding a cross country commute is a real punch in the gut, even when the reason for canceling is legit.

Maybe work with an agency when you go to Big City, as if Plan A falls through they can usually come up with a really good Plan B

Drive home with blue balls. That's on you.  You could have pulled over to the side of the road and rubbed one out.  I don't think you can blame the provider for your failure to mitigate your damages. Just sayin.

It's happened to me once, from someone I'd seen several times, and I believe we had a mutually enjoyable time. She texted me about an hour before a morning session and said her child was sick, apologized, and asked if we could reschedule. I did, although it was awhile before our calendars aligned (she's low volume).  I know she's a single mom so it was plausible.  

Life happens.

Quick answer: Who the Hell knows?

What it seems the OP is doing wrong now is dwelling on the matter —an even bigger waste of time than my writing this post.

Consider it a bullet dodged.  One presumably does not play in this arena for lots of extra-extracurricular drama.

Joy To The World and all that …

but had already accumulated 3 or 4 OKs on P 411.  The 4th was from a lady who had seemed to get a bit put out when I kept e mailing her after the set up so I figured things had changed a bit.
I booked an afternoon with a lady in Baltimore. I had to be there for a conference and decided to stay over one night so I could get a long afternoon in with her.  I e mailed her and we had everything reserved. i told how how excited I was to see her, what hotel I would be at and asked if everything was arranged ( i.e. did she need anymore info etc.) and she said all was arranged.  
The day of I called all excited and she was annoyed and asked where I was and what had happened to me. i told her I was at the hotel and couldn't wait to see her. She said since I hadn't kept up contact she figured I blew her off and made other arrangements.  
Go figure.

There is nothing, and I mean nothing, in the way of P4P in the area where I live. Even in this state's largest city, there's very little. If I want a highly-ranked provider, I have to go to the Big City, and have been for over three years. I've had all sorts of things happen (read my thread from a couple weeks ago), but this is only the second time I had to go home without seeing someone

No, I posted this because when I posted my thread a couple of weeks ago about some of my experiences, a lot of people replying said it had to be my fault somehow. I was doing something wrong. So, I posted this to see if anyone could figure out what made the provider decide to say her kid was sick, assuming that this is somehow my fault.

I also agree that you didn't do anything wrong.  Kids get sick all the time, so her excuse could very well be legitimate.  Although it sucks having to make an 8 hr commute, just to see a provider.

If I lived in an area with no providers and had to drive 8+ hours just to see one, I would plan a few hobbying vacations each year to some cities where there are a good number of well reviewed providers and agencies.  I don't know if that's possible in your situation, but it's an alternative to consider

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Maybe you turn the dog on and the babe is jealous?  

In that case, it WOULD make it your fault. Right?

Look dude, you gotta man up and make a big boy decision....
Do you wanna live closer to work or closer to pussy?

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And you could be right but it's only a 97.382% chance.

How many contacts must a man get confirmed
Before an appointment’s approved
How many hours must have passed to get there
Before he gets disapproved

The answer, my friend, is blue balls in the end
The answer is blue balls in the end

(We hear your frustration. It happened to me on a long distance trip with a no-show.

They said that because you said the same thing kept happening over and over again. This time, you're only talking about this particular occurrence, so people's answers are going to be different  

If I had to guess, maybe it's the type of girl you're picking. Also, you didn't appear to have a back-up plan. I would set up alternatives if I was driving that far. Or if I didn't plan ahead, dang sure try and see someone before I leave.  

If it's a big enough city you should be able to get in to see *someone* same-day. Maybe not someone of the same quality, but now we're back to the type of woman you're picking.

Or, if an agency isn't possible, at least know the AMP situation in that city, as those are good for last-minute fun times.

FUNNY! Cracked me up!

ass there will be a plan B and plan C just in case.

Plan for the worst and hope for the best.

but absolutely correct.  

One other thing, the OP gets a LOT of criticism mainly because he does a LOT of whining. Some of us almost never have a problem getting a paid date and enjoying it. Others seem to CONSTANTLY be getting stood up, ripped off or for a hundred other reasons not seem to be having as much fun as the rest of us. Sometimes you need to look inward for the solution to your problem, not outwards, especially when the same thing seems to happen to you over and over again, while the rest of the crowd seems to be doing just fine.

For the record, I too had to move about from the "big city" to a small city with ZERO "well reviewed TER provider" I have learned to deal with it partly by trying out the Sugar World and partly by scheduling my hooker sessions around business I have to do in Dallas about once a week.  

and yes, I know once a week sounds like plenty for most, but I was used to seeing at least 3-4 different women every single week and have done so for MANY years. Once a week to me, would be like once every six months for most "normal" guys. lol

Hate to say it, but there are quite a few out there who are flakey. I've worked with assistants who complained about ladies continually flaking, or simply saying "I just don't want to work today."

It happens.

Unfortunately people can have unexpected emergencies as well as people can be irresponsible and not care about you and book another appointment on top of yours. Only she knows the truth.  
When I book a provider that is a long distance drive as such I always have a back up plan because the same has happened to me and more often than not I end up with either #2 or #3 choice. Don't take it personally.