I think this guy just doesn't get it. I have had lunch with providers "after" I had seen them a few times and we had become friends. He is putting the cart before the horse so to speak.
That said, I had one gentleman who wanted to take me to Chicago for a weekend. He "volunteered" to pay for everything...hotel, transportation (driving), meals, and tickets to activities. However, the buck stopped there. He didn't want to pay for my time. Sorry, hun, but I need to stay home and make some money. I have rent and bills to pay. This is my job...my only income and I can't just go away for a weekend like that without making some money. Sorry if this sounds bad, guys. Just a fact of life though. Thank you for the offer but I have to pass on offers like that. I was willing to offer him a deal too! UGH
The guys not looking for a provider just wants to kick some tires and feels he's so great you'll want to sleep with him free after lunch.LOL
based on your comment:
"So, after numerous e-mails back and forth, one "gentleman" asked me to join him for lunch. We set a time and a place and once I told him the donation, he back out."
Only the ladies can tell you how common this is. But, deal with him assertively by just telling him, in a calm voice, that that's just something you do not do, and do not give him any further explanation. If he protests or gives other reasons why you should meet him on his conditions, just repeat the same thing, in the same calm voice, as often as it takes, or in this case, if it's emails, the same applies (but without the voice of course. 
then I give the gentlemen my price...We can break bread at the restaurant or in your room.We can bag lunch it and i'll stop at the deli on the way. This will be your cost of course
I find less talk about money and services the better.Some gentlemen don't understand the time and money concept but those in the know do.
Kisses Haley
I doubt that is common. I think the other comments are all on-target, but I think another way to explain it is like this: When any professional person goes on any "business lunch" they are getting paid at their normal hourly rate for that time. For example, if you want to meet your attorney for lunch to discuss "something" you can bet your getting billed for that time. Same thing applies to your situation.
charge for lunch, it depends on the client and the situation. If its purely business, and that's what we talk, yes I charge. But I also have clients who are also friends and if we dine/ball game in a pleasure context, I would not charge. I think for providers, sorta the same applies - they just need to be clear so the guy knows. At times when traveling I'll see a provider (ones I've seen before) and if its still appropriate, afterwards offer to treat her to dinner if I'm going - at night and if she wants to without a charge, I'm glad for the company, if she doesn't, I understand perfectly.
Whatever a provider opts to charge or not to charge, I think she needs to be upfront if she wants to charge, conversely, a guy should not argue or try to bargain, just either accept or skip the meal. Personally, if I'm paying 300/hour to dine with a provider, I'm dining at the Y not a restaurant.
I took a lady on a trip to Europe a number of years ago, We flew business class, stayed at great hotels, ate in great restaurants, enjoyed the company of lovely local talent. Almost as nice as buying lunch, I guess, but I still, of course, paid her for her time and delicious companionship.
Men seem to forget the time we put into meeting with them for whatever reason....and hour to get ready....driving time to and from where they are....the hour we actually spend together....and the clean-up time afterwards.
Tell them that you have a cousin who is an insurance salesman and he'd to buy you lunch.
Some how I don't think he's going to be that hungry anymore.
Besides, $20? That's a couple of Big Macs, fries, drinks and a cherry pie these days.
23 skidoo small change.
"You're turning down free lunch with a wonderful guy", maybe you should be paying him. If that's the case, then I'm free for lunch on Sunday, and my rates are very reasonable.
Actually, I have seen a couple of ladies' sites where they actually requested having lunch to "see if there was a connection". I never saw the point in that, but I have seen it.
I would just tell the guy to look elsewhere.
I can understand maybe wanting to have lunch first. After all, while there are lots of slots for reviews to describe every imaginable physical act; there isn't much there to describe a woman's most important part: her personality. You have to infer it from other stuff.
So while I can understand maybe wanting to have lunch first, what I can't understand is the guy not wanting to pay for it. You are selling *time* -- and that time has an opportunity cost. Once you've invested it, you can't get it back.
I say, by all means a lady should ideally be available for a casual clothes-on lunch: provided that she is compensated for her time.
Over time, I have pre-screened doctors, lawyers etc. as needed. And always, I have compensated them for their time for doing so.
So my view is that you should make it clear that you are billing for your time; and propose a nice casual 3-hour lunch somewhere nice so he can get to know you better. (*chuckle*)
I'd imagine this sort of thing is one of the big nuisances being a provider. Don't worry about seeming heartless. You're a business person and what you're selling is your time. If some guy doesn't get that, tell them to move on.
He may be a wonderful guy but he is not respectful of your time. You're better off not seeing him; he's better off looking at eHarmony and the likes of it.
I love when guys use the line "Well I figured you had to eat anyways so why not eat for free." WTF lmao. I can buy my own 15 dollar lunch or 30 dollar dinner.
Our donation isn't for anything BUT OUR TIME. It'll be great when some people realize that.
If this is initial indication of who he is as a potential client...it's not good.
The next thing he will be telling you is to return the donation as he was sooo good. I have met a Mr. Gant before. Mr. Arro Gant..and they are way more trouble than any donation.
Block his email after politely telling him you don't think you and he are compatible. This way you keep your professionalism and get rid of him.
from the post what type of person this is or it is 15 dollar lunch. I know places where lunches can cost 100's of dollars. Been to any real sushi places lately? Been to any first class stake houses lately? I am not talking about Tokyo sushi you find in every corner where they serve artificial crab legs, colored salmon and the like, I am not talking about Golden Coral either.
Hey its your business and this is IMHO
Providers don't do anything for free because the time we are having lunch for free, we could be billing someone else for. It is business, fun and pleasurable, but still business. Nobody is that special, if they were, they wouldn't be a client. She'd tell you her real name. Let you spend the night. do your laundry,lol. Think about it would you trade in most cases $200+ for lunch? Didn't think so. So don't ask.
i have been offered "free" social time for dinner, lunch and drinks. i pick up the tab and if we get private then the usual compensation applies. it is something that should be done only at the offering of the lady.
Here is what you do:
BLACKLIST HIS CHEAP ASS!!!
He played you......put his butt on blast!!! that is like one of us taking the money and running...our reviews would be in the rip off category.....which would mean we would get NO BUSINESS!!! So why should he have the pleasure of calling one of your co-workers and pulling a fast one?
BLACKLIST HIS CHEAP WANNABE A HOBBYIST ASS.
I agree that he's no prize, but it seems that blacklisting him for being stupid would be like DC moderating you for having a contrary opinion. How well would that go over?
Wouldn't not seeing him be enough?
Phil,
You are correct. It annoys me when people do that type silly mess. I have learned to either hang up on them...or not answer the email....and I am NOT GOING ANYWHERE TO MEET ANYONE WITHOUT A CLEAR UNDERSTANDING THAT MY TIME IS MONEY.
Based on the OP info, blacklist is not needed. It think it was a misunderstanding. Apparently it was something it that e-mail exchange that led him to believe that a lunch date was possible. I know that lunch is always booked for the ladies and thats money. Now if he showed up and wanted "just lunch" blacklist his ass then
I could picture there being guys that go around town trying to do this stuff all the time. They just fake intrest in wanting to do business just to get some arm candy around town. Like someone said earlier, this guy should just stick to eharmony.
" but wonder if hes a cop"
Well, then you didnt screen him good enough in the first place to even see him..
Off the clock. It is their suggestion most of the time. What's the big deal?
I think the gentlemen may genuine, especially if he is trying to meet you. Occasionally one has to look at the long term value instead of the tip of their nose.
IMHO
