what if you think there is no future with a guy. You fuck him right away, then start thinking crap this is a good guy.

Do you start playing the hard to get game then?

If the guy is really that good that you can see yourself dating them, wouldn't you risk losing him to some "normal" woman who would give him sex a lot sooner?

We don't have time to wait for even 4th date for sex with a civve. If we don't get sex on 3rd date, we ain't even paying for McDonalds on the 4th date -in fact 4th date may never even happen...

One year....are you kidding me !?!?

Women are confused.

I believe they have every right to be. Some times I think love can be an irrational emotional response to the confusion.

Men just want sex

If women wonder why there are so few "nice guys" out there, men with whom a relationship would be a good idea, who might respect them, help them, and perhaps even love them.  Why?  Because women hop right into bed with the asshole.  

What's really infuriating to me is that women will, as pointed out above, jump into dysfunctional relationships with the assholes, and then they will seek out the nice guy.  We'll love them and respect them and care for them.  And then the asshole returns, and she just loves him so much, so we're nice and we get out of the way and the asshole wins again.

I have been the "nice guy" for nearly 50 years.  The reason I turned to the hobby was precisely because of what's been suggested here.  I don't really WANT to wait a year, and, worse, there's no guarantee that if I DO wait that long, I'm getting what I deserve so much more than the asshole does.  So, I got tired of losing women (any number of girlfriends and two wives) to the asshole who has a thick pair of lips to kiss them with and a thick pair of boots to kick them with.  I want sex.  It's a basic biological function.  It's what makes life worth living.  

So, instead of waiting for a year, I've learned to say to hell with that, and I'm finding women WAY hotter than I could ever get in the first place, and, in all honesty, it's cheaper to pay for them than it is to spend all that money over weeks, months, or years, and getting nothing from a civilian.  

When nice guys are getting all their sex from professionals, they will stop breeding, and from an evolutionary point of view, they will simply disappear.  In a few more generations, there will be nothing but assholes left, and it will be the fault of the women who decide to make us wait WAY too long.

Just my two and a half cents.

I'm not a partyer or drinker, despite my school being known for it, so it's difficult to find women who are willing to have sexual relations.

What do you suggest?
I recently broke up with my girlfriend of many years and I'm not ready for commitment yet.
Where would be a good place to meet women who just want to have fun?

I'm surrounded by gorgeous, young women in their prime each day, but they don't seem interested in me.

If a guy is marriage material I need to know if he's good in bed before wasting THAT much time, yikes.  I also don't hop into bed with people I don't care about (unless they are buying my time, wa ha ha)...I wait a reasonable amount of time to see if there is anything worth exploring but then I need to know if they are worth the effort...maybe it's because I get plenty of the kind of attention I don't need as it is.  If a guy is not worth dating, he is not worth fucking.

That amounts, to me, to playing games.

If you are respectful of the other person, there is trust involved, and that means that you put yourself out to trust the other person to not just use you for sex.

I have had great relationships with girls I fucked the first night we went out, and I have had great relationships where she made me wait.

There really is no rhyme or reason...at least in my experiences.

You are, in fact, equating your vagina with respect. That's not going to work in any scenario.
Once you and your friends start setting timelines on "getting it"...it's YOU who have removed all respect from the equation. You've reduced it down to a schedule or list that you judge your men by.
You've become as base and callous as the worst men you seek to avoid.
It's the person that has value...not their body parts and certainly not your golden pussy.

Just try being a real person and living each moment. Then...you and your friends might have a clue as to what matters.

All through high school and college I panted after gals who were my friends, but would never consider having sex with me because I was "too good of a friend."

Instead they threw themselves at assholes who got all the nookie and then I had to play therapist to them after they ended up hating themselves.

Thank God I finally found the hobby.

This mentality seems very much over thought.  How about you just go with the flow and let things happen naturally.  If a guy is "the" right one then the situation will move in that direction whether you give it up or not.  I think when women, or men, over think things like this, you are making the world of sex and dating far more complicated than it needs to be!  Grow up!

Posted By: Florida_Evans

Hi guys,

I havent posted in a while but I was just thinking...

I've read on some other boards about guys asking how to get laid in real life.  (I assume these are young guys asking).

Anyway, my civie girl friends and I were talking about sex the other day and we all realized that we do the same thing.  If a guy is a great catch and we want to date him, chances are we will NOT fuck him anytime soon.  As a matter of fact, we may make him wait 6 months to a year, or until hes committed to us.

But, if a guy has no potential as dating or marriage material, we will fuck the guy immediately!

Why?  Because we don't care!  And we have nothing to lose!

So, for the guys who can't seem to get laid by civie girls, it could be because you are educated, have a great career, or women want to have dreaded... RELATIONSHIPS with you!!!



Thoughts?  Comments?

I'm completely the opposite

I feel that great sexual chemistry is VERY important in a relationship. If I'm feeling it, and he's feeling it then why not feel each other. Why wait 6 months to see if there is any sexual chemistry? Women, in general have been programmed for centuries to use pussy as a bargaining tool. I call bs that men will not see you as  the relationship type if you get down and dirty early on.

So I'm 19, hanging in a sleazy bar an hour before closing time and there is a young woman with breasts significantly bigger than my head playing pinball by herself. I'd never been with a girl with breasts bigger than my head at that point, so I slid on over to chat her up.

We decided to leave the bar right after the bartender threw us out, drove to a make-out spot, and I began my march toward the elusive bra couplings. Hooks? Snaps? Front? Back? They should be color-coded or something.

Anyway, she stops me just as I manage to slip the last hook (it was in the back after all) and tells me that she's kind of depressed because she's been acting like a real slut lately and she wants to stop. I am, of course, very supportive and suggest that she stop first thing tomorrow. She tells me the story of how a couple of nights ago she walked up to the drummer of a band she was watching while he was on his break and just started making out with him - later went home with him, screwed him all night, and will probably never see him again. She says, "I didn't even like him. But I really like you and I'd like to see you again".

I've got a fair amount of rum in me at this point, so it takes me a while to sift through the logic... and I shoot back at her "So, you didn't like this guy, so he gets rewarded with a long night of passionate sex. Me, you like, so I get to go home with blue balls?"

She thinks about it for a minute. Next thing I know, my pants are around my ankles and I'm getting my reward after all. Go figure.

Two points:
1) Although I still enjoy larger breasts, there is such a thing as "too big". They weren't fun at all.

2) I never saw her again. So she was right after all. Go figure.

....how's that working out for you and your single girlfriends?

Very flawed logic.

Women avoid me because I am so awesome..

Posted By: Florida_Evans

Hi guys,

I havent posted in a while but I was just thinking...

I've read on some other boards about guys asking how to get laid in real life.  (I assume these are young guys asking).

Anyway, my civie girl friends and I were talking about sex the other day and we all realized that we do the same thing.  If a guy is a great catch and we want to date him, chances are we will NOT fuck him anytime soon.  As a matter of fact, we may make him wait 6 months to a year, or until hes committed to us.

But, if a guy has no potential as dating or marriage material, we will fuck the guy immediately!

Why?  Because we don't care!  And we have nothing to lose!

So, for the guys who can't seem to get laid by civie girls, it could be because you are educated, have a great career, or women want to have dreaded... RELATIONSHIPS with you!!!



Thoughts?  Comments?

You have too many guys trying to get in your pants anyway!

Every significant relationship I had, started when I found that the lady was not just beautiful but also intelligent, that she had a personality, that we clicked, i.e. I found there was the right chemistry.  With some of them it took me a week to get in bed, or a month, or a day, that period was irrelevant: actually the time between meeting and sex was never a factor that determined my commitment.  I dated really beautiful women who were dumb and I thought I could live with that, regardless of how quick we got in bed, I could take promiscuity a million times better than stupid.  Another thing, when a lady goes into a “plan” to catch you, how stupid do you need to be not to realize you are being “groomed”.  Anyway, sincerity, spontaneity, truth to yourself and others, those are still your best assets to end up in a functional, significant, relationship.

…  and all so very real.  All of what has been written here.  True for the person writing.  And were it not true, TER and "the hobby" could not exist.

Thus, in a sense, we are all writing from within some sort of self-reinforcing bubble.  It may be worth keeping in mind that there are other bubbles, other relational universes out there.  Or maybe not.

As for me, the combination of tedium, disappointment, heartache [whether I've been the rejecter or rejectee], and generally infinite BS drove me long ago to drop out, if nothing else by default, of the world of "dating" —and even longer ago I'd decided, mostly on conscientious grounds, against marriage.

I've been the "nice guy," the average frustrated chump —often through no one's fault but my own internal contradictions— and doubtless have been perceived as some kind of "asshole."  Depends on the situation and the people involved.

For the younger guys, I really don't know what to say.  When I was one, I was frustrated even though in retrospect it's clear that I attracted more women than most other guys my age.  This didn't seem to matter.  The number of ways in which things can fail to work out to one's satisfaction is staggering.  I mostly wasn't getting what I wanted or thought I wanted —and to this day, it's not clear what it would've taken for me to have gotten it.

One solution might be to become a rock star or a pro athlete.  I understand these life paths apparently include lots of access to easy sex.

Two quotes from contemporaries seemed sadly to sum up much of the situation: "They're just gash, man," and "You just have to play the game."  And this is the best of all possible worlds for these people, despite the occasional setback from which they quickly recover, always finding ways to blame the other person.

I never thought of the women who interested me as "just gash," though I probably would have been better off had I been able to, and I found "the game" [whatever that was or may have meant] to be both tiresome and in some way morally repulsive —but for many, relational life is simply "a game," and it's all about "playing," no more and no less.

For many women, men are just "dicks with wallets," and many women are proud to proclaim, "It doesn't mean to me what it means to you."   Whatever that may mean.

Excuse me for bringing up the subject of morals.  It's a complicated, thorny one —and everyone has a set of them, even the most presumably depraved.  And by the way, morals tend ultimately to be revealed by what one does, not by what one proclaims.

The path I've fallen into is one of reluctant solitude —as opposed to one of continual "settling,"  manipulating and being manipulated, and tolerating other people's crap and my own dissatisfaction— as the lesser of evils.  Occasionally consorting with "providers" offers an outlet that's marginally less unsatisfying than participating in the dating world and overall possibly less expensive.  It is, however, far from ideal, even in the best of times.

I'd like to find a better set of options.  They may even exist.  I simply have lost my taste, such as I may have had one, for the quest.  I haven't excluded the possibility that I might stumble into some better set —and I suspect that, if I do, I'm more likely to recognize the fact if I'm not troubled by my powerlessness over the things that disappoint me.  In the meantime, it really helps to get my dick sucked and otherwise be ministered to sexually by a reasonably attractive woman who's willing to do it for a fee, however outrageous.

We are all familiar, or should be, with the observation that, with prostitutes, "Men aren't paying the women for the sex; they are paying them to go away afterward."  I often console myself with the fact that although I am paying for the sex, it's a more efficient form of payment, and their going away afterward is usually an unexpected benefit.