TER General Board
Ciara, hon...you know I love ya...
and I know you said "some" in your next post...
but that is as chauvinist of a statement as any man has made on here. Obviously the thread struck a nerve, given your responses.
To be a bit more generous to the original poster, who didn't phrase his question in a derragatory manner, perhaps he had seen a woman he was attracted to who seemed (to him, yes) like she wouldn't necessarily put her fists up at the concept, and was possibly in a position where it might *possibly* be attractive to her financially. The guy was just feeling out if there was possibly a good "come on" for that sort of situation.
I have a friend who is involved with an agency who actually offered me money to "talent scout" for them along EXACTLY the same lines as the posters question suggested. I didn't do it, for many of the reasons mentioned here (among others), but it is a possible scenario out there. Geez, there are people who do this for a living for the porno industry, ya know? It may seem like preying on people, and I don't necessarily condone it (or oppose it), but it does happen.
Now, let's not get into an argument about this, okay...we already did that once. 
Just wanted to point out the other side of the issue.
Oh, honey! You should know my sense of humor by now. However, even though a few women might take something like that as a compliment, I think the majority -- although they would find it flattering to be thought of as sexy -- probably would be leery about a stranger approaching them in public. To "some", it might reinforce to them how much men think of sex. There are still some ladies who wish to think men are romantic and possibly want a monogamous relationship.
We all talk about how we want to protect our children, but what if a man is still a father to a twenty-something? Would that father like it if a stranger approached her in a mall (knowing the dangers of lurkers) and asks his daughter if she'd be interested in becoming a provider? I bet the majority wouldn't like it. Not because it's illegal but because they want to protect their daughters from rapists, etc. There are alot of warnings out there about this every day on the news, so although the poster's question was valid, you can see why some would respond this way.
Now, if someone were to come up to a lady and say, "You should think of becoming a model," then I think the woman would find it more flattering. It's an intimacy thing, hon. Don't take it personal. Yes, there are a few women who may have always played with the idea of becoming a provider or a porn star. There's nothing wrong with that, but to approach someone in public is a whole different story. That's just my opinion, and everyone has one. Perhaps, if you slipped someone a business card about the venture and said, "If you're interested just call me" and then leaves. That would be more professional and polite.
Anyway, I'm not trying to be mean, just realistic. You must realize that most providers get occasionally tired of the speeches from men "who are not providers" but think they know the business. That's not to say we don't appreciate your input or have fun with you guys on the board. But try to put yourself in our shoes, there are times we just want to say, "Gees, guys, get a life!" And believe me all the providers I have spoken to agree with me but are too afraid it would hurt their businesses. Well, I'm not! I only do this part time because I enjoy it and I have another income. And yes . . . where else can I incorporate free time if needed? No corporate office would allow it. Believe me, even though I enjoy pleasing men and truly have fun on my appointments, let's be honest: I think most providers if they won the lotto would stop providing. They can still find young or older studs at bars of their choices in the tropics.
So . . . occasionally when "some" of us get frustrated or it strikes us as innapropriate, we voice our opinions, just like you guys. Don't take it personally. And yes, my dear, it's still a male-dominated world. You wouldn't know because you are a man. Thank goodness! 
Love ya'!
Hugs,
Ciara
-- Modified on 6/29/2007 12:34:44 PM
just because I posted something to your post, I was not "taking it personally". I was simply pointing out that you were going a bit over the cliff with that statement, which there is no denying, whatever your motivation, was chauvinistic. My only point in stating it was that you are someone I feel who is aware enough to not make statements like that because you are frustrated with how a percentage of a that group acts. I wouldn't expect you to make generalizations about a particular race or religion or whatever just because many people in that group act a certain way. Why would you do it when it comes to gender?
I am also, in spite of my BEING male, aware that it is a male-dominated world...for the MOST part. I say it that way because I know many men (other than myself, as my relationships haven't been like this), on here and in the world outside of this, who would say that women are more often the ones who call the shots when people get married or are in longterm relationships, both because they usually have more defined goals than men do for their lifestyle and their union, and because of the often-lamented reason on here: they are the decision makers when it comes to sex. How often do you walk down an aisle at the supermarket and hear a man telling his wife "Honey, you forgot to get hamburger buns...you know, for the barbeque Saturday...the barbeque with the SMITHS...don't tell me you FORGOT!" or "We only have $50 for groceries today, so we have to keep it tight"? More often, it is the woman telling the man that.
Back to the main point, though...I long ago realized how many STUPID posts there are on here about men telling women what they should or shouldn't do with their business, and I can certainly understand how irritating it would be for me if I was in your place. The only reason I don't say it is stupid is for exactly the reason you say I must realize...I am not a woman, and I can't speak for them in that way.
As for the guy approaching a woman about providing...whatever your or my approval or disapproval of it (and most posters squarely discouraged him), I still feel it isn't as shocking as you might feel. It goes both ways...if a woman is to have freedom for her life, she is to have the strength to know how to deal with those scenarios. If a guy went up in a public place and talked to her and ended up giving her a card and it directed her to someplace like TER or providers sites or the site of an agency that seemed reputable or something of that nature, it is quite different than if he gave her a card with just his name and phone number and tried to get her to come to his place to talk about it. I would think ANY woman would know how to handle the latter, and if a father has a daughter, he is a fool if he thinks that being propositioned, in one form or another, gently and honorably or outrageously isn't part of the everyday life of being a female, especially in modern day society.
Anyway...let's please leave it at that. If you and I are going to have long conversations, it should be before we are intimate and then we could put our intensity to good use.
Peace to you, sweetie...and I still haven't seen "Bug". 
Anyway, go see or rent "Bug","Black Snake Moan", "Paris Je T'Aime" and "Breach."
Now come over here and give me a good spanking 'cause I've been a bad girl, daddy, and accepted a proposal from a stranger at the mall.
Hugs,
Ciara
But do I think, "What a waste?" Only if I think he's gay. HELLO! Maybe she is very happy. Who knows! It's no one's business.
Hugs,
ciara
that it is too bad that he can't go there. Anytime a guy see's a hot girl with a guy that he thinks is less attractive then himself, "what a waste" seems to be the response of choice!