.....I swooned.
It made me laugh and also made me realize how few of us female mongers engage in this beloved hobby

Took one look at the four or five bottles of lube I had and said, "Are you a whore?"

The best Russian he ever had!

One client said he's never been with a Russian like me before....Ah yeah that's because I'm Latina! My hurt for days after that!

I seldom listen to what providers say, and what I do hear is usually out there. Once I thought a provider told me she had a loose pussy, I misunderstood what she was saying. Another provider told me she had a pimp, but he was nice because he sent her children money, and another provider told me if I came in her pussy, we would be fighting.  

I'm sure there has been more, most of the time I can't understand what the ladies say due to foreign accents, urban accents, and or the lady being under the influence of something.

the most filthy and offensive joke I had ever heard.

I vowed then and there to marry her.

And finally I did

During the down time I was idle talking about something and she said "shut the fuck up" I laughed so hard it took a moment for me to realize she was back to sucking me. A lovely, spirited, sexy, fun young lady.

"It's so VEINY"...

tied with an early BP experience: "I don't kiss, but we can since you have teeth."

Can't make this stuff up

ME: That's not your belly button either

I'm going to have to pay YOU!"

Saw a provider twice, and each time I had clothing requests (lingerie, sexy businesswoman, nothing too extreme). During our 2nd session, I was talking about seeing her again and she was wondering if I was gonna make her dress up as Supergirl. She isn't a provider anymore, but if I saw her again, I wouldn't have asked her to dress like Supergirl (maybe Batgirl or Poison Ivy since the provider was a redhead