So I'll first say I'm sure that quite a few of the guys (and girls) here can deliver but it's interesting that many in the reviews will call out how they are bringing their partner (of the session) to an O due to the arched back. I just came across this following which made me chuckle a bit thinking about such review.

"She’s Shifting Around for a Reason
We want to help, so let us. If she’s repeatedly arching her back in a way that moves your tongue away from its current maneuver, there’s probably a reason for it. Go to the next move, man."

So while an arched back will probably be part or a woman's O it might not be what you think it is.

One of the other (15 things) listed was new to me -- and I'm still wondering just who would actually believe it (Maybe the character Alan from the show 2 1/2 Men?):
"Spelling the Alphabet Down There Is Just Weird
Know that trick you read where spelling the alphabet on her ladybits with your tongue is the best thing ever? It’s not. It’s just weird."

For me is when she squeezes my head with her legs and nearly breaks my glasses.

Spelling the alphabet advice comes from porn star Ron Jeremy -- aka The Hedgehog.  If I recall he was saying that the way they show it in the porn videos is so they can get a camera angle, and not really a good way to do it

this comic is a new-classic and offers some additional pointers.

I've heard that the alphabet routine ISN'T always the best move to make.  Also I read somewhere that keeping your tongue less rigid and more relaxed is better.  As far as fingers, some like their partner to slip a finger of two in during theDATY session, some don't want the fingers.

I've read a few places (and been told) that if a woman starts squirming and moving around, that's a good thing.  Keep doing what you're doing.  Most importantly, COMMUNICATION.  Ask what she likes...if she likes what you're doing, etc.

**DISCLAIMER**. I'm no expert lol.  This is what has worked ( very well) for me through the years in both civvie dates and hobbying.

D.

Drama queens over spelling and Judging someone over spelling.Life too short for drama

Matthew seems to have no dick.  What happened?

for the guy's neck and shoulders.

I would always want to do DATY, but I'd say only about a third of gals with whom I've done it really liked it.  Some tolerated it for a time, but as they became more comfortable with me, confided that they would rather I not perform it.  So be it.

In the meantime, those that did like it would want me to perform it for ungodly amounts of time leading me to have bone spurs in my neck that were (and remain) quite painful.  For this reason, I have had to throttle back the amount of DATY that I do sometimes to the gals' consternation.

When I do perform DATY I make sure that my head is not pushed back too far, and the best way to get this done is for me to be on my knees on the floor (pillow beneath them) at the edge of the bed with the gal's legs on the floor (or on my shoulders if she prefers) so that my neck is more or less in line with my back or even forward of it.

This will prevent you from irritating the tissue around the bones in the base of the neck where they join the shoulder blades which led to my bone spurs.

My doctor said that as long as I'm careful and don't irritate them, I should be fine for now, and he was right.  Yes, he does know how this developed, and he says he has seen plenty of cases of it.

As for how to do DATY correctly to please the gal, the comic is a good start, but they may as well be illustrating how to do brain surgery, which is only slightly more complicated.  You should listen to what the gal says and when she says "right there", she means "right there"

END OF MESSAGE

Did you ever wonder who the first guy was to DATY? Neither have I. Seriously tho, he should have a Holiday named in his honor. And it should be celebrated daily. Like drinkers say, it's gotta be 5 o'clock somewhere.

And for the lady pussy kickers, feel free to substitute she for he ... even tho it was probably a guy. 😛

They'll need all the instruction they can get

Why ya gotta wait until 5 o'clock

DATY thread i got here Lick-a-dee-split.

 
Seems to me that each gal licks her licks different.

 

Thank you  
2016 = 28

That's it, don't do the alphabet, don't hum, don't finger, that stuff doesn't work. Lol just pressure that clit and move your tongue on it. Don't move it around it, grrrr lol when I'm about to pop if the guy changes what he's doing its really irritating lol..

Glasses?
How close a look you need??? 🤓

This actually applies to BJ's too.  Often I am almost ready to cum and they change up rhythm or something and the cumming gets postponed.    

I've heard now several times that a constant rhythm is best for DATY.  

I do tongue exercises because I have spent as long as 40 minutes licking and sucking on lady parts.  After about the 20 minute mark I have to change tongue motion regularly to keep from getting "lock-tongue".  Sometimes if it looks like the lady may not "get there" I will tell her that I am sticking my tongue out and she should move on it as she needs.  If you are getting close, tell us that and ask us to keep doing what we are doing.  Even if you do, "lock-tongue" may happen

Easy solution here is to take the bottom and let the girl ride your face or simply straddle your face and let you do the work. Much better view too, in my opinion

I've had several who seemed very happy with what I do.  My take is I am the motor but she is the driver.  I will sometimes support her bottom with my hand(s) if necessary but always allow her the freedom to move her hips.  She will move to put my tongue where she wants it.  Sometimes one will move up & down against me or other times focus on one spot.  
Her O depends on her really...  sometimes the same gal will be into it & other times not.

The longest I've eaten pussy was probably 15 minutes, then we move on to something else cus she came.   it's not really about how long though, it's about what works on the girl, at the heat of the moment, if she's taking too long then she's not telling you how to do it right and is just killing time.. this applies to guys too, tell us how to blow you or else we will do it how we think you like it which most of the time is not very good outcome lol.

but sometimes breathing can become an issue

One thing I find helps: lent what your partner likes usually it needs to end on the clit, but the work up varies with he lay) and one thing that seems to add is pressure on the g spot.  This could be from the inside with fingers, bt may ladies don't like this.  Most people do like pressure from he out side with pressure against the abdomen just about the pubic bone.  This ofter adds but stimulating the g spot if done right.
I do always appreciate instruction and direction and the ladies positioning my head so I am just right.

I suspect this is mostly theoretical, though.  It's highly unlikely a provider is going to tell you you are doing it wrong, as her business is primarily trying to get you to leave a happy camper (for good reviews, return business, or just pride in work.)  Why risk that by criticizing the client

I tell them how I like it or else I'm not a very good actress, sooooo not a theory. In my case.

I'm as idiosyncratic in how I like to receive oral sex as most women are. I need it done just right to feel high arousal and orgasm. I have no problem telling women exactly how to please me, if they didn't I could lay there for an hour getting a blowjob without cumming.

Women should be as direct as I am in guiding their partner, but they aren't because they are by nature more passive. So as a result guys generally don't have a good grasp how to please them. The fault really solely lies with women for not being assertive enough. This whole daty thing should be a lot less frustrating for all parties, but women act like shy girls and don't speak up.

Sometimes I have to tell women over and over what I like during a session because they're just not getting it. Inevitably they learn, and I pop. It could take 30 minutes, more often like 5-10.  That should be how women guide men, but instead they just lay there until the man feels like doing something else.  
 

Yes, ladies , Please Please tell me how you like it.
I like it a lot. but I really love it when you Love it!

Instruction does not hurt my ego. I like to learn.

They are all different so you have to ask each of them or really pay attention to cues. I've been told, "Lick, don't suck" and " Suck my clit hard" , "use your fingers" and "don't finger me EVER!" So who knows? There is no one size fits all when it comes to DATY or even Sex for that matter.  

not for all of us.  

It's not criticism, it's guidance. I love being with someone, and I'm going to get all the enjoyment I can get out of it. So I will guide if I need to. Every one of us is different in what gets us off. I don't expect every person who finds his/herself between my legs to know what makes it work. It's just good sex communication! Makes for better mutual pleasure. If he's down there, he wants to please me. I'm going to help him achieve his goal. I figure that if he doesn't want my guidance, he probably wouldn't be down there in the first place.

-- Modified on 4/24/2016 4:59:17 PM

You're right that it's best to be assertive about what you want. That's so important. We are all responsible for our own orgasms.  

Women are not by "nature" more passive. They tend to be more passive due to being historically punished for being assertive. Before god was considered male, the divine was a goddess. But over time, the goddess was denigrated, along with women, resulting in the subversion of women. Beginning with the "original sin", women were considered less than men- unholy, ungodly, even unclean because of menstruation. Worship of the goddess included sex, but that was especially denigrated. Sex is bad... During the witch hunts, many people hunting witches adhered to the Malleus Maleficarum, which described women as "naturally more carnal" than men, which made them more susceptible to "trucking with satan". Which in turn got them burned at the stake. Damn straight women would learn the lesson- don't act like you like it or you'll get burned. This type of conditioning over literally hundreds of years in different ways (not just witch hunts, obviously) would make anyone more passive. It's not natural; it's a very methodical, calculated process by which women's power was (and still is) subverted. Veer from a particular prescribed way of expressing sexuality, and you're in trouble (i.e., trans and gay people's being targeted for violence, escorts who have been raped being determined to be victims of robbery instead of rape, Brittany's vagina flash and Miley's twerking and the resulting public condemnation, etc, just to name some modern-day situations). Is that our fault? Or perhaps the fault of a systemic flaw that gets perpetuated by all of us when we slut shame?  

I think things are changing, though. At least we aren't getting killed for our sexuality so much anymore (sadly, trans and gay people still are), so we're getting bolder as a gender in claiming our pleasure. I have hope that all genders and gender expressions can also claim their pleasure without risk of violence sooner than later. This is a problem on both sides (at least, in my civvie life. Men in my Sarah life are much more apt to "get it"). It's a human thing, I think. Hopefully, someday soon, we can all talk about it more freely as a society so that people can achieve the great pleasure we all deserve in sex!!

But kudos to you for being very up front about what you want during sex. I wish more people could be more like this.

It is the ladies responsibility to learn her own body and then gain the courage to tell her partner exactly what she wants.  It is true a lot of ladies are raised to please a man and have his needs come first.  She is not relaxed in receiving pleasure and therefore resorts to faking it to get the irritating experience over with.  Things change when she starts loving herself and can be selfish enough to receive her pleasure.  I've done a video on this subject. It is a pervasive challenge among women.

When my tongue is inside her, and I feel her vaginal walls contract, I am pretty sure she is having an orgasm, whether she arches her back or not, I never can see from my vantage point.

I'm much more disposed toward nature rather than environment explanations.  I think it's just due to women generally not wanting to irritate or anger men in a sexual context by implying they're inadequate. Women have an innate fear of men; there is nothing more dangerous to a woman than a man who wishes to do her harm or abandon her after she's commited to him. It runs through all sexuality from her reaction to his first approach to whether she decides to have kids with him.

     
 Women are not by "nature" more passive. They tend to be more passive due to being historically punished for being assertive. Before god was considered male, the divine was a goddess. But over time, the goddess was denigrated, along with women, resulting in the subversion of women. Beginning with the "original sin", women were considered less than men- unholy, ungodly, even unclean because of menstruation. Worship of the goddess included sex, but that was especially denigrated. Sex is bad... During the witch hunts, many people hunting witches adhered to the Malleus Maleficarum, which described women as "naturally more carnal" than men, which made them more susceptible to "trucking with satan". Which in turn got them burned at the stake. Damn straight women would learn the lesson- don't act like you like it or you'll get burned. This type of conditioning over literally hundreds of years in different ways (not just witch hunts, obviously) would make anyone more passive. It's not natural; it's a very methodical, calculated process by which women's power was (and still is) subverted. Veer from a particular prescribed way of expressing sexuality, and you're in trouble (i.e., trans and gay people's being targeted for violence, escorts who have been raped being determined to be victims of robbery instead of rape, Brittany's vagina flash and Miley's twerking and the resulting public condemnation, etc, just to name some modern-day situations). Is that our fault? Or perhaps the fault of a systemic flaw that gets perpetuated by all of us when we slut shame?  
   
 I think things are changing, though. At least we aren't getting killed for our sexuality so much anymore (sadly, trans and gay people still are), so we're getting bolder as a gender in claiming our pleasure. I have hope that all genders and gender expressions can also claim their pleasure without risk of violence sooner than later.  
     
 This is a problem on both sides (at least, in my civvie life. Men in my Sarah life are much more apt to "get it"). It's a human thing, I think. Hopefully, someday soon, we can all talk about it more freely as a society so that people can achieve the great pleasure we all deserve in sex!!  
   
 But kudos to you for being very up front about what you want during sex. I wish more people could be more like this.