But you would be a fool to meddle in their lives; although you seem to have a grip on that situation, so relax

or at least the first one you had some chemistry with. Getting into the hobby can mess with you on a level you don't expect. It did me. Even though I don't see my first one professionally anymore, we keep in touch and occasionally meet for lunch to catch up.  I, too, want to see that she is doing ok and will occasionally give her money or gifts.

There are others that I care about as well, but not like the first one.

It took me a year after I started this hobby to come to terms on an emotional level with the unknown future. Each time a fellow walks out the door, I do not know if I will ever see them again. I don't hound or contact them even though sometimes my heart is aching to know how they are and in some cases, are they even alive? My silent promise to the person that shows up is to be professional. To understand there is a line between our fantasy world and our real world. Your payment to me buys my time that you are with me but also buys a promise not to stalk you!  I truly care about many many of the fellows I have seen, but because I care, I respect their private real lives.
All that said, no one is perfect and sometimes the heart overrides the brain- XOXO

 
Hear is a blog post I wrote a few years ago to deal with my feelings like you might be having for the amazing woman:

The words mean nothing, yet everything. You come to me or me to you, filled with anticipation, alive with desire and seeking a touching of souls and body.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. We smile when the door swings open and see the other waiting for the enjoyment and fulfillment that will evolve.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. You are the one that completes and satisfies my wanton aches; to bring me pleasure in an insane world.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. I am your paramour, concubine, beau; your courtesan, inamorata; your mistress.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. We come together as if we were clouds forming a storm, with pulsating intensiveness building to thunderous vibrations and then the calmness after the storm.

The words mean nothing, yet everything. I am your paramour, concubine, beau; your courtesan, inamorata; your mistress.

The words mean nothing, yet everything.

That way  you're not patronizing her, assuming she needs "help". Just a nice gift.  

Yes, you guys want us to be human, but then beat yourself up for being human. "Too professional. She wasn't genuinely into it."  

It's sweet to care, going overboard however is patronizing. Also if you send a holiday gift instead of a "I think you're struggling" gift, a lot of people gain a little hope & faith that a higher power is watching out for them, -'as opposed to captain save a ho. Captain save a ho does not have the power to change everything. Everybody knows that. But he can send a gift. Also if it's a gift, that protects you from being asked for handouts. Though she doesn't sound like that type, your habits of wanting to help damsels in distress might happen again and you have to be careful. Handouts vs gifts? Do a gift not "knowing" she could use it.  

Xoxo

C

Caring for them isn't the issue. If there's nothing else going on except sex there's nothing wrong with that but connecting on other levels is what makes some girls more memorable than others. You don't even need to keep it under your hat but you should approach that with some concern for her perception of why you are telling her (as well as your own motivations). There's a line between letting them know you appreciate their mind and have fond feelings for them, and telling them you want them to quit their job, marry you and have some babies. That line isn't difficult to see, but guys can get carried away by their feelings and do "stupid" things like profess their love and expect reciprocation to being a creepy stalker and everything inbetween.

Personally, I want to care about the girls I see, want to know them better, share more than just orgasms, but the pain of limerence isn't something I care to experience, at least without reciprocation and I've learned over the years not to expect it. If I love someone it is it's own reward. Wanting more is not "manly". If I tell someone I have feelings for them I do it when I think it will make them feel good, though there are plenty of ways to do it without being explicit. If someone tells me they care for me it makes me feel good as long as I don't get the idea they have hidden motives or are going to get BSC on me.

If you have a fantastic time but then quietly wallow in the agony of loneliness for weeks after seeing them, you might want to take a step back, limit your exposure to a level you can handle, see other girls, and most importantly examine whether or not your thought process is fueling the emotional pain. If you can keep your thoughts in check the rest will work itself out, and a little disconcerment over your feelings is actually a great opportunity to teach yourself to love without attachment that can have positive effects in civie life. You don't get that bonus with girls you fuck and forget about the next day.  

It may not be the case here but tread lightly. Personally, I know what I am and I know what I am not. The whole point to this is we see each other and have fun for the agreed fee/time. Of course there are some you like more than others. In my experience, feelings in the hobby are a huge HUGE mistake. The makings of an epic disaster in fact. Anyway, I absolutely assure you that she will reach out if she wants to see you. You really only know what she wants you to know. FACT

1.  Empty out your bank account and give I all to her; or
2.  Give her name to toys for tots with a note that says, "Insertables Only."

 
A third choice is to admit you're just a little bit delusional and would like her as a SO, even though its probably not going to happen, and give her a nice girlfriend gift.  This is what I do.

I care very much for my ATF whom I know has gone through some tough times in the recent past.  She has moved away but comes back my way every 3-4 months and I move heaven and earth to get to see her.  We do exchange texts from time to time.  Holidays, etc. and every now and then a random "I miss you".  BUT with all that said, I try to stay out of her business unless she shares it with me.  I love her, but I am NOT in love with her.

If you would like to send her a little something, just send the money to my Pay Pal account along with the instructions on what you want me to buy for her and I will make sure it gets to her.

One other thing you could do for her while you are in such a giving mood is go harass those last couple of guys who gave her shit reviews until they take back all the bad things they said about her.  

Ok, got to go now, Megan's calling for me, don't worry about her going bareback with me. I am "pretty sure" I am clean. Just try to put the thought of me cumming inside of her the next time you go down on her, and don't forget to send a little extra for my "handling fee" lol

There are men who find real relationships too risky for a variety of reasons including the fear of real intimacy. For these individuals there are frequent visits to the same provider and the fantasy of a real relationship with the woman. One aspect of this "fantasy" relationship is that the provider, unlike a real girl friend or wife, is not demanding of anything emotional in return. In a way, the provider is “soothing the psyche” of that man. And there you have it- you're nuts!

I am 100% sure you are in love. Do you know how I know?

You said this:

"I am not in love."  

That is what is called in this biz as a "tell."

Why would you feel the need to say you are NOT in love? You are only kidding yourself my friend.

The best thing for you, much like a drunk or gambler, is to admit you have a problem. Now if you don't think being in love with her is a problem per se, then just be honest and tell us you love her.

You do. Its obvious. You will feel better by saying it. Maybe even empoweedr by admitting it to strangers.

Come clean son. Advice and absolution will be yours.

My two cents

I would say that we are all human and it's most definitely normal to wonder and care. I think a merry Christmas hope you are doing well email or text is usually thoughtful and welcomed in my humble opinion anyway. But I do know what you mean because as professional as I tend to be I have one of two clients with whom it could easily get out of hand because of the level of chemistry. So far so good as I have never let it get out of hand but atleast you are aware of the boundary that should be in place.

No no you are not a fool for caring but you may be a fool if you continually over check on her and get too deep into her personal life.  

 
So I say wiH her a Happy holiday and do your best to keep it moving! But trust me I get it in a similar situation unfortunately lol

... as opposed to being another selfish, self serving, emotionally broken fucktard that sees everyone in the world through the lens of their own narcissistic ego needs like we are surrounded by every damn time we leave the house, drive in traffic, go into a store, go to work, etc, etc, etc.... ugh.... Have you seen what passes for human decency these days? And that's among so called "normal' folks?! And that's with "normal" folks in normal relationships!

So, here's a big secret about business that is no secret at all. All business is about relationships. All good business is built on good relationships. How we define a successful business has been the real issue in corporate America for a long time with the focus shifting away from the human element and the value of the actual manpower that keeps business functional and instead toward bottom line profit margins and cutting costs on paper at the expense of the people who are seen as labor numbers, not valuable investments. The problem is that this toxic mentality has seeped into our every day lives and too many folks seem to think this is how everything that isn't high minded and gloriously protected by matrimony should also be regarded. And we see how well this mentality is working for American workers so far...

So, with that said.... when you have a connection with a provider and you know you are valued and appreciated as a person, not just an income stream, (if you see them as a human being first too), then you also feel it. You recognize it. You get more out of your experience than expensive masturbation for your ego with a living blow up doll. So, of course you care. Why shouldn't you? Wouldn't you care about the local independent shopkeeper down the street who knows your name, remembers your preferences, and greets you with sincere and warm enthusiasm when you patronize his/her business? (As compared to the local big box franchise store with all of its interchangeable and non-invested service personnel who don't see you, don't care about you and won't remember you). Why would this relationship be any different from that one if you can feel that you are valued and appreciated by the business owner?

There are alot of folks who are quick to act like giving a damn about any of the providers is some kind of act of weakness or stupidity and that all the providers should be treated like disposable kleenex or blow up dolls on a carousel whose existence and humanity should be reduced to absolutely nothing that deserves common decency or a modicum of respect as a human being with feelings. These are the same people who see providers because they are so handicapped psychologically that they can't deal with women as partners on an equal playing field and have so little confidence in their masculinity that they have to play these big, bragging bravado games amongst other broken men to try and make themselves feel like they are not afraid of women, intimacy or growing up and becoming emotionally responsible adults in relationships where they have to bring more to the table than money as a form of power and insurance from being rejected.

There are many folks (who you will never see frequenting forums like this because they have lives that keep them busy) who see providers because this provides a relationship where everyone knows where the boundaries are, what the rules are and the expectations are defined clearly and neatly so that there is no messy emotional negotations because the relationship is evolving along with the progression of intimacy and investment levels. Some folks enjoy providers because it makes sense, everyone knows the rules and everyone comes to the table with a mutual interest in having each other's needs met in a way that makes both parties happy at that time with no recriminations later.

 
So you are not a fool. You are a profoundly valuable human being who knows when you have found someone who sees you as something other than a walking ATM. We can't always be friends in the "normal" sense of the word around here but folks with any life experience know the value of all friendships, in all the varieties they come in from the best friend we trust in our homes to the local shopkeeper who smiles warmly when they see us because they know who we are and appreciate our patronage of their business. Even that is friendship too and if you don't think so, just remember - McDonald's will never miss you if you stop showing up one day but the local independent will notice... because you matter

Dito......I could not have written that any better.

Sometimes It's Difficult Not To Care.

Two of the girls I'm seeing  (not together) are really awesome. Both treat me like I'm the only one they're seeing. I know that's not true. Sometimes you just get a bit closer than other guys to these girls. When you gain their trust you get kind of get hooked on them. Not to toot my own horn, but being super nice to some of these girls tends to make them talk to me about what's going on in their lives