What’s cracking deviants? We at HDH are pleased to be back on the GD board with an actual report this week!! There were rumors that the basement babies, trolls, gypsies, tramps and thieves had bombed headquarters and silenced the wit and humor…
FUCK WHAT YOU HEARD BITCHES! Read the Hump Day Headquarters Mission Statement:
As long as there is stupidity on the GD board…we will be there with a notepad and a beer. As long as the basement babies refuse to move out of the basement…we will be there laughing at their pathetic attempts to ridicule others. As long as there are trolls begging to be fed every Monday, we will be there with the cameras to gleefully film the carnage…and dodge the flying limbs and chuckle at the hurt feelings. We shall say it one more time. TER IS LIFE, FOR LIFE!!! Now, grab your Xanax, bottle of vodka and read on deviants!!!!
1. In the Dose of Reality (or as we like to call it, Oh shit what the fuck am I going to do now) post of the week, we learned that a provider sent a text to her client….telling him she loved him. Hmm….we sent a text to LilPhil telling him we loved him and we were properly ignored…what did we do wrong? Maybe….our love just isn’t enough. (cue the world’s smallest violin please…Pity? Party of one? The loneliest number?) Anyways, in this thread, we had a guest speaker…the Male Ego!!!! The male ego proceeded to tell the OP this happens all the time, her rate is going up….and to feel flattered. Yaaaahhhhhh….heaven forbid if it was just a marketing ploy or the provider was drunk texting. That never happens, right? All providers LOVE their gents and proclaim their love via text. It couldn’t have been a mistake, as the provider sent it TWICE and then asked for a discussion about it. Sigh. Advice by the male ego was given…and who the fuck knows what happened. Maybe the gent and lady discussed options…maybe they are on their way to a chapel in Vegas. We want an invite and a slice of cake dammit! The moral of the story? Ladies, this is NOT the way to keep a client. A good bj and knowing when to STFU?? The client is yours for life. So simple, a cavewoman whore could do it.
2. We all took a good hard look at ourselves (yikes!)this week with the Things that make you go hmmmmmmmm post of the week from MissMarie. MissMarie asked how has this hobby changed one’s life? So, we at HDH sat down, scratched the dandruff out of our hair, sparked the L and wrote down a few things. Shockingly, the trolls didn’t show their faces on this thread…and an interesting discussion happened!! OMG!! OMFG!! A real discussion happened on a discussion board?? What the fuck is the world coming to?? It’s the end of the world as we know it…..anyways, replies to this ran the gamut, but the overall sentiment was…it was a change for the better…except the money aspect. Eh, one can have their cake and DATY too!!!!! Hooray!! We at HDH thank MissMarie for her thread and dub her…The Sexy Sunshine Princess of the GD board. Thank you again MissMarie and we look forward to her future contributions!!
3. The WTF Are Ya Serious thread of the week goes to Neona65. This young lady had another young lady respond to her ad asking about a double with a client. Okay….this is totally left field here. Now, it gets better. Did you take your Xanax yet? Chased it with a few shots of vodka? If not, do so now….okay. Now back to the thread. Neona65 was properly skeptical….and asked questions in an attempt to figure out WTF was going on. Well, the scam artist provider (as we have determined) refused to answer the question! Yah, we smell bullshit from a mile or two away on this one. Neona65 asked if this offer from the scam artist was legit or not. We at HDH are breathing a sigh of relief as this thread reinforces our other saying of No DNA, no Crime. Oopsie, wrong saying. We meant to say (as we inhale deeeeeeppp) always listen to your gut. Of course, the GD board BadBoy MP67 started rambling about something…but who pays him any mind? The overall sentiment? The 500 dollar spanking was so not worth putting a life on the line. We are glad Neona65 is okay…as who the fuck knows what could have happened with this one. Once again…..screening saves lives. Be safe out there everyone!!
4. In the Does it Really Matter aka Is this a Legit Question thread of the week, RedCloak asked the GD board population what they thought of occupations of clients. What do providers do when they find out their client is a powerful Senator or lawyer? Do they ask for business cards? Do they brag about it to other providers in the Ultimate Pissing Contest held once a week in a secret location? (BTW….we at HDH are looking to invest in the stock market…so if anyone knows someone who knows someone who has a friend of a cousin that could hook us up…..pass along our info thanks. We are also looking for a male slut secretary too…he has to be able to wear short shorts and bring out lattes with a song and dance). In true typical GD board response style, most who answered the questions…did not even answer the damned question. Opinions were offered….that were relevant to the OP…but the question was not answered! Thankfully, one brave soul rose to the challenge….AND ACTUALY ANSWERED THE QUESTION!! Let’s all have a round of applause for Natalie.Orion!!! She is the only one who actually read the OP and answered the damn question. We at HDH dub her the Genius of the Week….and RedCloak got the answer he was looking for...finally!! Hooray!!
5. The GD board had not one, but TWO scientific findings posted this week! In the same thread nonetheless! We at HDH are pleased to announce the newest additions to our staff….Channelguy, who has a Master’s in Fuckology from DATY University and Visiting Prof, who has a Master’s in Clitorical Studies from VaginalCanal University!! These two pillars of the scientific community posted their scientific findings based on a study they conducted…..or something like that. We at HDH have decided there isn’t enough ganja in the world we could smoke and figure this shit out. Hey! At least there were pretty pictures of the vaginal canal!!!!!! We like pictures….we likes them a lot. If a published scientific study doesn’t have pictures, then who the fuck cares?????? We thank these two outstanding gents for their dedication, commitment to bettering the fucking experience and for the pictures. They were warned….being a part of HDH staff is no easy task and the pay sucks (literally. We have a cutie on call 24/7. Its part of our budget) Uh…what is a hair job? Can anyone answer that question please??? Thanks!!!
6. The All in fun Drunken Posting thread of the week goes to OldSP who asked TER members (ladies, we assume. Then again, he had been drinking) which male member would ladies like to fuck? Now, we at HDH personally love the GD board Badboy, MP67.…lolz. Oh shit. We said the L word…fuck. Now we have to send a drunk text to MP67 telling him we love him…saying so on a discussion board is so…impersonal. We are shocked and appalled only one crazy lady chose Fuzzy…perhaps she did not get the inter office PM about Fuzzy…should anyone warn her?? MrFisher seemed to be the popular choice with others LYING and saying LilPhil was the charming one. Ha! Gag us please…and not with a swollen dick! We thank OldSP for bringing funny back to the GD board!!!!
7. The Apprentice Shit Stirrer of the Week goes to PrimusSucks for his bitching thread!! Primus asked why is it…most of the men on the board are bitchier than the women? Oh yah….when we at HDH first read this, we grinned. We did our evil happy dance. We slit a goat’s throat and offered a prayer of thanks to the Shit Stirring God (that would be Smarty1101, as he knocked Puck off his throne a while back….and has managed to hold onto his title! Puck is merely a demi-god now) Primus is only an apprentice as his thread only had 156 reads and a few explosive replies. Feelings were hurt, insults were flung…but no carnage. No bloodshed. Do better Primus!!! Do better!! We at HDH want to see limbs flying! Tears shed!! Puppies kicked!!! Feelings DESTROYED!!!! The blood of goats and chickens drunk by an angry mob!!! That is how you stir shit up!!!! Oh, we all learned only Manginas eat Kashi. Is everyone a health freak on TER?? Yikes!
8. In the Useful Shit we all need to know post of the week, we learned what to do when a guy cant get it up for a provider. Talk about slightly embarrassing. Maybe a shy penis?? Anyways, there are a lot of things one can do when the penis is too shy to play with others!! One could DATY until the sun comes up or hey! One doesn’t need a hard penis to actually orgasm!! We at HDH are quite grateful for this thread, as some of our staff members have been worried what to do with a woman. (we thought showing them porn videos would help…but they were too busy jacking off to pay attention). Thanks to Carols1 for posting this useful shit. What would anyone do without the helpful hints and advice found on the TER GD board? One could just cry, get drunk and bitch that the Viagra was outdated. That always makes us feel better!!
We would like to take a break in our report and recognize the Hottie of the Week!! We actually have two of them, since we skipped doing a report last week. The Hotties of the week are Sages Love (how does one turn off Auto Correct on this damn thing??? WTF?? OMG We know we are spelling Sages’ name wrong…and that is how we want it. OMFG). Anyways, we at HDH were first introduced to this sexy lady on the Favorite Soap for washing up thread…and this lady gained major bonus points by agreeing with Allure on the thread. Nothing like a sexy and smart lady! Hooray! A rare find indeed! (insert sarcasm here____) The Hottie for this week goes to…Lauren Summerhill. OMFG. OMFG. We have never had an orgy to someone’s pictures…but for fuck’s sake. Why haven’t we noticed her before? We must add her to our To Do list.! We thank her for posting her suggestion of the best damn free porn site (www.vivthomas.com) Meanwhile, back at the ranch….
9. In the Revolutionary Thread of the week….we learn that the term GFE is 1. A not so clever marketing ploy, one that is overused and overrated, as the definition of such is open to interpretation. 2. Not for everyone. Oh, cue the band, pick up your freak flag and join the cause! A few weeks ago, the term “classy” was discussed and dissected, now we are dissecting GFE. We at HDH join Goboy2112 in his quest to bring about change (no, he is NOT ripping from the Obama presidential campaign) and to figure out…what the hell is GFE? Some agreed with the OP, others offered suggestions and a new term was coined!! The word/term of the week goes to Houndog69 for Y-GFE-MMV!!!! Hooray! Now, use it in a review or sentence!!!
10. In the Peek inside the Male Ego and his tiny brain thread of the week, Megan Morgansen asked men this question….how many sex workers are not willing participants? Megan had read stories about human trafficking, pimps and the like. We at HDH love Megan as she always posts threads that make one sit down and think about others….and not just themselves. We are thinking of hiring her as our Realist Correspondent…once again, the pay sucks, but we have a happy hour every day from noon until 10 pm. Megan was merely curious as to what the general population thought. This thread has won Megan the Best Human Interest Thread of the Week, as an actual discussion took place. *GASP* Ideas where hashed, perceptions were shattered….and we all learned a little something new this week. Thank you Megan!!
11. In a post last week (before the drama and bullshit took over the GD board, sheesh) DC and LilPhil told everyone to shut the fuck up and keep a train on its tracks. Yah the fuck right. If everyone shut the fuck up (like they did last week, right?) and kept a train from derailing, this place would be as empty as a troll’s bridge. (something no one wants to cross…but that doesn’t stop folks from tossing the hungry troll a few crumbs and scraps, right?? Ha!! These two win the Jokers of the week. Congrats!!! People will behave on this board when HDH stops popping pills and smoking in the janitor’s closet. Yaahhhhh righhhttttttt….did we mention both of these fine gentlemen are our favorite people?? (had to throw that disclaimer in there or they will sick Board Admin on us…..we at HDH just recovered from the last flogging Board Admin gave us)
12. Let us now quickly recap the week we skipped….as there were a few gems. Not many though…everyone was PMSing last week or something. Maybe the shipment of Midol was lost in transit….and everyone ran out of rum. Who knows? We learned Radcow is the Perfect Client (once again, insert sarcasm here_____________. Now add a chuckle to the blank space as well and turn the bottle of vodka all the way up….chug…feel better now? We at HDH do). The God of Shit Stirring has a birthday coming up and he wants some sort of gadget, Megan Fox has slept with two men (but how many has she fucked? Ba da dum!), someone in a bathing suit photo forgot to take out her…uh, jewelry (one had to look closely at the picture…and FOCUS…), SEO is just another marketing scheme that works for some but may be a waste of time, some providers use two names in a pathetic attempt to scam clients (one price for clients who book under one name, higher rates for others who book under another name…but it’s the same lying ass chick. Once again….insert how much you care here _________), in a perfect world, one could believe the goddess they find on city vibe is real…and she swallow your load for a mere 300 bucks an hour!! We also learned why sites like CV, BackPage and Craigslist are still up and running…and not shut down due to the fact everyone knows where that is one goes to find a prostitute. Apparently, one finds hookers on the street….is the OP of that thread suggesting we block off all street corners??? WTGDF is that about? ? Sheesh, Thank goodness some of us have working brain cells…and know how to use them (for the ones who don’t. Once again, WTGDF???? The week before was full of flying bullshit and singing elephants, as you can see. Gee, wonder why HDH did not bother doing a report last week? Even we couldn’t be bothered with a full report. Oh, and in the I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE ASKING THIS FUCKING QUESTION thread of the week…..someone asked what a cougar was. Wow, really??? Where the fuck has this person been? Under a rock? Hanging out on another planet where sex is taboo?? Duh.
13. In the Wishful thinking while sober thread of the week, readers of the GD board were taken back to their puberty as a list of hot ass high school teachers. These teachers said to hell with statutory rape laws and got them some…from their students!! No dick like free dick!!! The list was pretty damn extensive and we thank the OP (alias, of course. What the fuck else is new?) for giving us a reason to lock our teenagers in their room until they are 18...with no cell phone!! (texting naked pics is very popular these days…yikes) We at HDH thought we recognized a few faces on that list….but our lips are sealed. We aint no stool pigeon. Oh wait…this was a list of teachers who already got caught with their skirts up, legs spread on the desk. Ooops!!! Ah….memories.
So, there you have it fuckers. The Hump Day report for this week. We at HDH want to thank those who flooded our inbox with messages, sent flowers and dildos for our enjoyment. The week before was just a tad busy…..but we are back on track now!! (finally done babysitting. Omg, there is a reason why we at HDH don’t like kids…but thank god we can give em back) In closing…
“Don’t be jealous of my boogie, don’t be jealous of my boogie You can say that you are not, BUT I ALWAYS SEE YOU LOOKIING!!!!!”
I'll have you know, there are quite a few people on these boards that think I'm a righteous person. A caring guy. A person that you could look up to and count on. A man that appreciates all that a wonderful woman has to offer.
I give money to the homeless when they actually hold up their signs saying 'why lie? I need beer.'
I would be the FIRST to go down on a lovely woman, and INSIST she doesn't have to do the same to me.
I will take my spankings from Allure` PROUDLY, and I always ask for more because I know how much pleasure it gives her.
Same goes for the biting I recieve from Destiny, which, BTW, I have pix of if anyone wants to see.
Hey, like I said, I'm a giving sort of guy.
It would be WRONG if I denied anyone any pleasure, my self lastly.
I take great pride in bringing cheer and good-will to these boards, and hope that others would follow in my footsteps.
It is a community, after all. It isn't perfect, by no means.
But isn't that the reason why we're all here? To be with like-minded individuals, and enjoy each other's company? Share experiences, and have a mutual bonding?
I know it's not a *perfect* place by any means. But it could be...
Alright. I'm drinking. So fucking what. If there's one fucking idiot out there that took that shit seriously, Gambler, Fuzzy and I will personally come to your door and either beat the stupid out of you if you're a dude, or fuck it out of you if you're a chick.
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