...but the counselor at the clinic obviously isn't in the hobby. Though he/she may have been thinking in terms of a civie relationship, possibly long term. Though that could be a whole other discussion if you're going to ask about STD's.
Asking a provider is not a good idea, About if she has one or if she will show you her test results. If she has something she will lie. If she doesn't she will be insulted. It's her livelihood. A reliable, reputable, well-reviewed provider will take care of herself because of that. The previous poster's comment about a provider being higher risk than a civie must be in regard to BBFS because you will be safer with a well-reviewed, reputable provider than you will with a bar pick up as long as you take the necessary precautions.
Naomi said she wouldn't mind if you asked does she get tested. Her answer is yes. But that's as far as she wants it to go. Some won't even want to go that far.
You have to decide what level of risk you are comfortable with. From your first sentence it sounds like you are off to a good start. Keep doing everything you can to reduce the risk and enjoy yourself.
I started in the hobby three months ago and have practiced safe sex: only gone with ladies reviewed or recommended here in TER, used condoms for all vaginal sex, etc. Had my first STD testing today; HIV is negative; others, awaiting results.
The counselor at the clinic recommended working an "ask" about STD's, etc., into my sessions. So, my question is, Does anybody really do that? I mean, if a lady does have an STD, is she really going to say, "Actually, I do have this or that STD"??? Isn't she just going to lie? The other way the counselor suggested is to compare test results. I cannot imagine being greeted at the door by a lady in the hottest outfit, with a DKF before the door is closed, and then saying, "Oh, yeah: Let's compare paperwork here first."
So, what do you more experienced providers and hobbyists do? Simply hope/assume that TER members will be safer than Asian bar girls or American streetwalkers?
The risk of getting HIV or STD with BBBJ is small. I would never ask the lady if she has STD or HIV. That's just insane. If you smell something funny, stop the session immediately. I am glad you are getting yourself checked regularly. Say NO to BBBFS if offered or initiated by the provider.
Yes, this hobby is riskier than civvie relationship, so play with that in mind. The only way to completely eliminate the risk is jerking off to porn.
I was talking about safe hobbying practices, and anyone would agree that BBFS with a provider is far more riskier than one with a civvie GF. If the provider is having BBFS with you, she is probably doing it with many other guys.
As can also be said for the civvie girlfriend, in retrospect we are probably safer because we don't take chances and always protect ourselves by never doing bbfs.
...doesn't make the whole provider scene. And thanks for not risking your health and that of others. But, lot of girls have BBFS - for money, for thrill, or may be they are high and just don't know what the heck they are doing....Whatever might be the reason.
There are several STD's that readily transfer by a BBBJ. HPV, syphilis, HSV (I and II), gonorrhea and chlamydia are easily spread that way. I have gotten chlamydia that way. Look it up if you do not believe me. HSV is for life, syphilis can kill if ignored, and HPV can cause cancer. Yes it is safer then BBFS but it is not low risk.
Yes I do enjoy a great BBBJ, but lest not lie to ourselves on how safe a BBBJ is. It is a risky activity.
Outside of that first sentence, I agree with everything you said.
To answer your question, if a provider has an STD and she is still working, yes she will lie and deny it. No, a provider will not share any valid STD results with you. They are easy to fake and she doesn't want a potential stalker knowing her real name. Lastly, and I'm sure the other ladies will flame me for this, a hooker is a hooker, no matter where she comes from or is going, so don't assume an upscale lady is more or less safe, and you don't know what any of us do in our civvie lives. If you can't accept the risks of your chosen hobby, find another. But asking for STD results is a joke, sweety. Be realistic with yourself.
Posted By: myalias-myalias
I started in the hobby three months ago and have practiced safe sex: only gone with ladies reviewed or recommended here in TER, used condoms for all vaginal sex, etc. Had my first STD testing today; HIV is negative; others, awaiting results.
The counselor at the clinic recommended working an "ask" about STD's, etc., into my sessions. So, my question is, Does anybody really do that? I mean, if a lady does have an STD, is she really going to say, "Actually, I do have this or that STD"??? Isn't she just going to lie? The other way the counselor suggested is to compare test results. I cannot imagine being greeted at the door by a lady in the hottest outfit, with a DKF before the door is closed, and then saying, "Oh, yeah: Let's compare paperwork here first."
So, what do you more experienced providers and hobbyists do? Simply hope/assume that TER members will be safer than Asian bar girls or American streetwalkers?
I dont mind a guy asking me if I get tested regularly (I do, thanks to Planned Parenthood) but thats usually the entire discussion about STD's.
If I had an STD, my business would pretty much dry up once word got out there in the reviews or on back channel around here.
Now if you are dating a civvie girl and she has an STD, you might not have any notice of it til symptoms show up (some of them can hide for months btw).
If you stick with well reviewed ladies, you should be fine. If any of us have anything or the hint of anything - the guys will put it out there.
Pick a provider who takes care of themselves in all matters and they are as concerned as you are and mor safe than you are so, you don't have nothing to be concerned about.
You can figure hall this out bye reviews, emails and phone calls.
...but the counselor at the clinic obviously isn't in the hobby. Though he/she may have been thinking in terms of a civie relationship, possibly long term. Though that could be a whole other discussion if you're going to ask about STD's.
Asking a provider is not a good idea, About if she has one or if she will show you her test results. If she has something she will lie. If she doesn't she will be insulted. It's her livelihood. A reliable, reputable, well-reviewed provider will take care of herself because of that. The previous poster's comment about a provider being higher risk than a civie must be in regard to BBFS because you will be safer with a well-reviewed, reputable provider than you will with a bar pick up as long as you take the necessary precautions.
Naomi said she wouldn't mind if you asked does she get tested. Her answer is yes. But that's as far as she wants it to go. Some won't even want to go that far.
You have to decide what level of risk you are comfortable with. From your first sentence it sounds like you are off to a good start. Keep doing everything you can to reduce the risk and enjoy yourself.
The fact that you respect your health and the health of others should be applauded. There are risks involved and it depends on which you are willing to take while participating in the hobby and in the real world. I have noticed, there is the assumption that many ladies are unclean and breed STD's but I would think within the hobby, this would be the opposite. Most of us get tested regularly and frequently. Because we are so comfortable with sex and our bodies, a conversation regarding the health of our bodies should not be a turn off. Now are you going to accompany me OTC to the clinic for a test? Hell no. Am I going to swap my most recent test results when you pass me the donation? Hell no. All in all, when you are dating any lady- reviewed TER or civvie, you should be able to have honest information exchanged on STD's and HIV status BEFORE you do the do. Especially if this is important to you and YOUR health. If she is NOT willing to disclose any information or even answer a question, maybe she's not the lady for you. Good luck and play safe!
I was just surprised at the counselor suggesting I work an "ask" about STD's into my session. This was at a public health clinic devoted to STD testing, free, anonymous, walk-in. Recommended to me by other TER members. So, I figured she'd know all about the hobby. She was very nice, completely non-judgmental. But, I thought it was a strange question.
So, yeah, I'm practicing as safe sex as I can, and yeah, I know there are risks.
What's the point of asking? even if a provider had an STD, I doubt that she would tell you. Also, it would totally kill the mood. The best that you can do is to be safe and avoid any practice(s) that could put your health in danger. I try to frequent providers that are low volume. Never go for the cheap ones.
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