After reading post complaining about providers rejecting them for race, screening, no outcall to hotels etc, he is told to move on. There are plenty of providers out there, why get hung up on one?  My take, is one I felt.  I did all this research, tracking her reviews and finally when I set an appointment - rejection. Most are legit but sometimes what was mentioned earlier is the subtle message.

Or is it like a previous post attitude " Is my money good enough?"  It been nagging me all day (I know get a life) but fellas, is the hobby so consuming because after five years, I am not there yet.

the lady doesn't know you, so why take it personally. If you do, check and see if there are other places in your life where you are taking too much personally. We all do at one time or another. We're especially susceptible in doing so when we're tired, disappointed, or generally running low on energy and other resources. I'm not certain this addresses your question.

It is not a matter of taking NO, it is a matter of how you deal with it.
Some people can't handle rejection, and their reaction is to have a tantrum and go on and post about it.
Then there is the searching for the right answer. This seems to bother some because they don't want to deal with themselves being the possible problem. It then gets to finger pointing and the other person is the problem.
One needs to look in the mirror, and therein may be an answer.
In the context of the hobby, rejection on both sides needs to be dealt with maturely. This is an aspect of the hobby, and a reality. Get used to it.

some guys can't take no because they want what they want and don't give a damn. they think their money should be good enough to buy anything.

some guys can take a no that they believe is genuine and based in reality. i am one of these. when i understand the basis for moving on i will positively help her to do so. just ask my exes. i initiiated my divorces because they were clearly ready to move on and just didn't have the clarity and guts to make the decision cleanly.

where i have difficulty in accepting the "no" is when i think that it is based on a miscommunication or a mistake on both sides. i will then persist for a limited time in trying to fix the miscommunication. for example: if a she has accepted a demanding role to play and suddenly wants to cut and run, i will usually try to see if the arrangement can be renegotiated satisfactorily.

people's needs change. i know that. it makes no difference if it is a provider or a GF. my preference is to renegotiate the realationship rather than throw it away. people are not popcorn to me. sorry if that is out of fashion and not cool here.

-- Modified on 4/18/2009 6:44:03 PM

You're telling these guys to just get over it but you can't seem to get over the topic yourself?

I usually do not respond to an alias but too a point its true.  My question is the pschycholgy of men who pay for sex. Does it make then bitter about women in general or more appreciative to a provider who gave them a chance.  My first "hobby" experience was after 20 rejections and she verified my employment and she receive my loyality until she retired.  So when I read about the "silly" reasons, other than screening, on why they will not see certain people, I just strengthen my resolve and "reward" another provider

I can't speak for other guys but hobbying doesn't make me bitter against women.  On the contrary, I do it because I love women.

move is a very common and (pardon me) rather cheap rhetorical trick of little value except to persuade those who are easily persuadable, i.e. folks who do not want to think for themselves.

But the bigger question, do you get a lot of rejection from providers.  If not, you can't speak on the subject, can you?

I take pride in the fact I became a businesswoman in a nontraditional industry that allows me to set my own rules. Gia's rules. Certainly, at times my rules cause me to lose business. That's ok, as sometimes I purposely make it that way.

I use my initial contact via email only rule as an avenue to discriminate (yes, I said that aloud! ) One of my little secrets is I will not see a gent if he sends me an email full of grammatical errors! Now, I understand I am not perfect in my writings and there are some errors in this post, but I want to meet with a gent who takes the time necessary to make a good impression on me by rereading his email to me (I'm sure I just made some enemies with that one). I just lost business. But hey, I reread my website weekly to try and pinpoint any errors, as to make a good impression. I feel I deserve the same. Also, I will block a gent's email if he pesters me about not getting back to him within a day!

Also, I discriminate by not seeing newbies, anyone without reputable TER references or are not part of some verification website (many preoviders give a hefty discount to such gents, so why not join?). If a gent will not partake in my screening, I block his email.

Further, I do not see gents whose TER post reek of hate towards women. If I read a post in which a gent rips a provider apart physically on an open forum, he is now on my DNS list. I enjoy spending time with gents of class. Plus such critiques could easily be discussed backchannel in a discrete and less harmful way.

With all that said, the best thing to do is for a gent to move on! There are so many providers out there. Some that I would love to get a hold of myself!

Besides, providers are discriminated against and rejected everytime a gent choses to pass on her because she is too "fat", etc. Why not dish out what is feed to us?!?!? He he he.

Xoxo, Giamarie

BTW, great post. If it gets people engaged, you're doing something right!

I am not in a corner nor inconsistent.  Behind an alias, he made a sacastic remark to which it had no real basis to the question, just get a few LOL from the peanut gallary

perhaps someone is trying to use a rhetorical trick to accomplish that. but it is a feeble attempt. why not just ignore?

i enjoy long dinner dates. there are a few restaurants that i have as favorites. i have noticed on one occasion that a place i was fond of treated me very differently when i brought a provider as a companion.

she was perfectly elegant that evening and there was absolutely no reason for them to suspect except perhaps for the tiniest detail....

they treated us a little differently than my usual putting me off to the side rather than where i am usually seated in the center of the action.

so they exercised their business discrimination.

now i exercise mine.

they are off my list.

You are absolutely right, especially from an alias but since it was my original post, I felt an obligation to defend myself. I will follow your advice next time.  Thanks Textcat

I think you hit the nail on the head. Lets be honest, many men look down on the providers and they think they can "buy" a provider and think you need their money.  

Thanks for the compliment, all I try to do is to have interesting debate.

I must be getting dumber with age, am I the only one who had a heck of a time de-tangling that jumbled mess of words that was his original post? Man!.......

the great naval hospital.  He was caring for one of the early patients with HIV/AIDS.  The man told him he would go to New York or Boston and have tens if not a hundred sexual contacts in a single week end.

I was talking to a gay friend of mine and asked how it was possible.  He said he would go on sex week ends like that spending much time naked in bath houses; the key to success was never to waste time taking anything personally. He would be naked and lubed up and a man would come in and look at him.  If the man wasn't interested, my friend would shrug and wait for the next one.

I used this philosophy with, of course, major modifications after my first divorce.  I would approach any woman who appealed to me and not care if I got laughed at nineteen out of twenty times.  I ended up having great dates with great ladies many of whom remain friends with benefits to this day.

The moral, take nothing personally,don't waste time worrying about rejection, and move happily on.

We see who we want and providers do as well..so what is the problem??

Oh come come on, you "libertarians", where is the response thread to this>?   LOL

I thought you posed a good question ("does the hobby make you bitter?") in your initial response to me. I felt it was an issue worth exploring.

Perhaps you thought I was being sarcastic.  I wasn't.  I've met many wonderful women and have had many wonderful experiences.  This has only reinforced my love for women.

If you're only seek the opinion of men who have experienced a high rejection rate, your results will be skewered.  Guys who experience a high rejection rate are generally either 1)new and learning the ropes; 2) are approaching ladies in the wrong way; 3) are already bitter towards women and their attitude is apparent to the ladies they're approaching.

Sometimes an answer is just an answer. He asked a good question in his initial response to me. I felt he deserved an answer. From me and from others since I can only speak for myself.

I'm not bitter. I love women. No rhetorical tricks.

quite standard fare as a rhetorical trick too. now whether you meant it as a rhetorical trick or not doesn't change the fact that it is one.

OTOH you may not know yourself well enough to know whether you are bitter or not, whether you were indulging in a rhetorical trick or not.

when you post from an alias your reader may read all sorts of possibilities into your post since we don't know who you are from another context. it is part of the hazard of using an alias. as long as you use one without the clear need to protect yourself or a provider, any reader is justified in being skeptical.