Guys? I have a question. As a TER member what would be the reason to stand up a lady? By that I mean, I was with a lady recently who told me she was stood up multiple times while touring the Big Apple.

Since she screens her visitors and is somewhat UTR I found that unusual. You'd think a hobbyist with a TER profile would want to protect his reputation. A no show no call appears to be out of character with the seasoned hobbyist.

Yes, you are right...but sometimes in rare cases a gent may not be able to call at the time intended....But He should email her or call to apologize and hope that all is forgiven so for future he still is in good standing with her......

-- Modified on 3/6/2006 10:48:01 AM

She doesn't tour, and so she depends totally on the local gentry; but if they are so inconsiderate as to not give some type of advanced notice of cancellation they just burned the bridge BIG TIME! Even as little as 15 minutes before scheduled arrival is acceptable; but if they don't call at all they're not even considered if and when (it's always when) they call again.

To me, a date with a lady has top priority. In my 40  dates so far there is not one cancellation or postponement. I have blown off many meetings, scheduled and unscheduled, at work to see my ladies.

In the first case the lady would probably prefer that you drop dead before arriving than afterwards, but maybe I shouldn't speak for them.  In the second case you probably should be willing to show a copy of the arrest report and explain why the cops wouldn't let you use your cell phone.
B

Although in jail you do get one call (or so they say on TV). She would probably prefer you not use that call from police HQ to canncel your appointment.

Kidnapped would probably be a good reason, too.

Consider there are a group of TER members who work together and convince someone to visit their city.

This group (one individual at a time) contacts the provider and assures her the trip will be financially worth while.

Oh her arrival, she either gets calls to cancel or no shows to the point she might not make enough to support her cost for this trip. The guys are counting on it as they call and start negotiating deals.

There are even cases where the group having brought the provider states there intent openly. Since they are a group, and they have filled the schedule - why not get a discount? Oh, and if you don't give us the discount - we're gone...

As I said - this is hypothetical - a scenario.. Of course, most who would be playing this out - us alias TER handles...

There are three providers who did not show up or call me with directions and never responded to many follow up calls to them.  Two of them are people I had seen, one twice, and had wonderful times with.  Since they did not bother to even call, I just will not bother with them again.

A fourth one never called, but did email a few days later to say they had a bad traffic accident on their was to see me.  That person I still see regularly.

Common sense and courtesy should prevail in situations where either party has to cancel - especially that courtesy thing. Make a phone call, for crisesake!

This is not at all ok. Things like that is what has made our industry so screwed up.

Good to know ther are still some great hobbyist around I have been having a hard time finding one.