TER General Board

A "Weighty" Issue (or: Up On My Soap Box For "Fat Girls")
sweetsable 7540 reads
posted

There has been some talk on the boards about providers weight problems.
There has been some talk on the boards about providers and drug use.
In a previous thread it was asked: "Providers drug Abusers", I dont think most provider's TODAY do coke or heroin...some us dont even smoke cigarettes...so we dont have a vice to keep the weight off (and of course in the 80's drugs were a common way to keep unwanted weight off).

I submit to you that most girls these days DONT use drugs, and the evidence of this IMHO is the fact that providers are "heavier" than ever. Some gentlemen complain that the provider they saw was "heavy" (she probably was 5'8 and 140 lbs. - which in the REAL WORLD is not fat) but in the FANTASY WORLD of Providers, she's "FAT".

What's a girl to do?

Anorexia: Starve yourself and never eat
Bulimia: Eat but "hurl" it back up or use laxatives?
Diet Pills: Ephedra can kill

We look at magazines and victoria's secret and think we have to look like these ladies. A magazine is NOT a mirror! No one really looks like that...Those models dont even look like that! AIRBRUSH! Those girls are 15 to 18 years old, they havent fully developed yet. Only recently have magazine editors allowed women..."WOMEN"...like Heidi Klum and Tyra Banks to be considered "Super Models"...and they are voluptuous women.

I used to be an "Internet Model" (My entire job was to sit in front of a camera and talk to men all day long - woo hoo!), but of course the camera adds 10 pounds. I am 5'4 and at that time I weighed 109 pounds. I was "tiny". I have NEVER DONE DRUGS OF ANY KIND, I dont drink alcohol, I dont even smoke cigarettes. How I got that "small" was by simply eating about 500 calories each day...that's like 5 apples. I hardly ever ate. I was on a perpetual diet. I was hungry and light headed all the time...But I looked FABULOUS DARLING. LOL! It was SO unhealthy. I was probably doing damage to my heart. It wasnt the way to go.

I'M AFRICAN AMERICAN/LATINA/CREOLE trust me...my people were not meant to be that thin!!!!! LOL!!!! My Latin side of the family would say: Ay mija, eres tan flaca! Come'!!!!  My African Amercian relatives said: Girl you aint "thick" enough, you need to get something to eat! My family thought I was sick or on drugs...my aunts kept trying to feed me! No one in my family (BOTH cultures) could believe that I was losing weight on purpose. For me weightloss is not just a health issue but a "cultural" issue as well.

Today: I'm 5'4 and fluctuate between 125 and 135 lbs.
I want to yell: I'M NOT FAT! (I'm NOT fat! But in this industry I am.)

Go to a gym? Who has the Money and Time? Our time IS money. We have to use our Time to make Money...not much leisure time left.

Here's my question (What a relief)

Actually I dont have any specific questions other than to ask Provider and Hobbyists alike to "weigh in" on this issue pro or con.

Hobbyist's What do you think? Does a girl have to be "rail thin" to satisfy you, or can she have some meat on her bones? Do you "CARE" how she maintains her figure (Anorexia, Bulimia, Drugs, Diet Pills, Exercise).

Providers how do YOU keep in shape, and if you choose not to why not?

There is a beautiful blonde provider (I will not mention her name) who I admire - she has an AMAZING Voluptuous body, though I suspect that most men think she is Fat. In other countries a voluptuous woman is worshiped, here in America she may get slammed. Will I ever go on a Diet again and get back to my fighting weight??? I'm tempted...I'd make a lot more money...I just dont know.

sable



Ozymandias5961 reads

Personally, I don't have a specific preference in regards to somatype... and I think most clients would NOT find the rail-thin model look appealing: there are sharp edges there, afterall!

I like slender and elegant, but I also like round and sensuous. Health is important, and I like a woman to "glow": skin, hair, demeanor are important too. The important thing to me is an overall pleasing proportion... Salma Hayek is an example of a woman who departs from the "supermodel" norm: she is short, a little "thick", short-waisted... yet she is immensely sexy and appealing. Part of this is her "parts" just... go together. Jennifer Lopez is similar, I suppose. There is a positive trend in this country of greater ethnic pride, and indeed ethnic is "in", and this modifies our norms of attractiveness for the better.

I find the fashion industry as a whole appalling, and models are the abused fodder. Case: I have a young woman (22) in my employ who is exceptional... she is a graduate of Yale, nearly a world-class athlete (track & field), fluent in French and Italian, can converse wonderfully on literature (introduced me to the work of Italo Calvino). She is also stunning: tall, slender, elegant, face like a sculpture, gorgeous hair. Unfortunately, she has decided to be a model... she has listed with Elite and is in the process of putting together a portfolio so that she can land a contract and be a "real model": but, her agent has informed her she must be as thin as possible so that her photos will be acceptable. This is her routine: she rides her bike to the office (her apartment is 12 miles away), eats ONE Powerbar PER DAY, works, rides her bike home... plenty of exercise, no food. Needless to say she is irritable and lackluster. I have developed a kind of fatherly concern for her, and I am like a Greek iaya, exhorting her constantly to "eat, dear" but with misplaced discipline she manages to refuse.

I can think of no profession rewarding enough to fundamentally undermine one's health for, whether modeling, escorting, or ballet. Does a BBW appeal to me? Well, not especially, to be honest... but I am sure many men find that very appealing. Men are as various in their tastes as women are in form.

A European colleague of mine complains that all American teenage girls look identical, and there is some truth to that and likely that is our future. For the "Land of the Free", we certainly adore standardization. Well, I don't... variety is the fuel of the creative life.

O.

thick4612 reads

I may not have liked your previous posting, but this time you hit the nail on the head.. Skinny women do not turn me on...

I think the desire of many men for slim women or slim women with massive breasts is symptomatic of degeneration in our western society. There are many complex reasons for this change in preferences. One may be the decline in the status of motherhood and the rise in the status of women that is associated with success in a career.

Men were programmed by natural selection to like women with the right amount of fat in the right places - breasts, buttocks and hips. This traditional distribution of fat genuinely indicates health (enough energy reserves but not so much weight as to place excessive load on the organs and limbs). It also suggests (though not entirely honestly) ability to safely give birth (wide hips suggesting wide birth canal) and capability to lactate and rear a child (large breasts suggesting large mammmary glands). In most of the world through most of time, this is the shape that men have preferred.

In my view, the thin athletic figure with tiny hips but huge breasts may be so popular because it sends the message that this is a women who is powerful in her career (she looks like a man so can do business like a man) while still able to pleasure a man (small hips suggestive of tight pussy and anus, large breasts suggestive of increased sexual possibilities).

One of my past girl friends had naturally massive breasts and hips combined with a tiny waist and flat belly. Another was similar but with a larger waist and a more rounded belly. Both were two of the sexiest women I ever met. Both complained that men in western countries never made passes at them.

I don't mind slim bodies either. Skinny with little breasts can be cute provided she doesn't look starved. In fact, I don't give a damn what shape or size is a woman's body so long as it looks healthy and natural. Sexual chemistry is more important to me than shape or size.

I think people in general should be stay at the weight that makes them feel comfortable.  By comfortable I mean healthy, energetic, etc.  It does not matter how much money you make if you ruin your health in the process or end up dead.  To some degree we have been conditioned by advertising (Madison Avenue And Hollywood) to think of certain body types and looks as pretty or handsome.  Fortunately even with this conditioning different men have varying tastes in women and women have varying tastes in men.  I do not think this necessarily answers your question.  But we can only go with what we got and make the most of it.

It is the right combination that I enjoy.  I have enjoyed very curvy women and rail-thin women.  The common denominator?  Nice proportions (not huge implants on a thin body, or hanging stomach on a curvy woman, etc), and most important, nice attitude.  If she is smiling, cheerful, and enthusiastic, I will call her back.

Sable sweetie,

I have never seen pictures of you so I cant really give my opinion as to your shape at all but I will tell you what my experiences have been.

I personally have never altered any photos that I put up on my website because I have the "you can take it or leave it attitude" .. I would rather have someone decide while looking at my website that they dont like what they see then when they meet me and have already wasted both of our times.

I have met a few friends that have thought of me as heavy for my build (I am 5'4" and weigh 108 lbs and have weighed as much as 118 lbs since I have been in this business).  I have also met friends that have thought as me as too little.

I OF COURSE always feel fat because I am a woman!  That is our nature!  It is not easy to get or keep in shape after having kids.

But here is what I have found is most important ... 150 x more than looks at all most of my friends are into personality, warmth and the overall package and experience.  Yes a lot of them like my looks too but it is the overall demeanor and experience that draws them in and keeps them coming back.

If anyone doesnt like how you or I or anyone else looks then the hell with them.  There are enough boys and girls in this industry that people can get what they are looking for.  I find that in time as people get to know you better you fall into your lil niche of the industry where the friends you are looking to spend time with find you as well.

All you can do is put yourself out there and be you.  If they like it then great, if they dont then so what.  If you want to change your weight or diet then it should be for you and only for you.  Not to make more money or for clients.  You are the one that has to live with yourself at the end of each day!


Hugs and Kisses,  ~~Jessi

Jessica Lee Lace of Missouri!

G26798 reads

Back in the days before TER, you never knew what to expect when the door opened.  One time I opened my door and saw a young woman who was the total opposite of my "type" in almost every way.  She was too short (about 5'1" or 2"), hips were too wide, breasts were an "A" cup on a good day.  To make matters worse, her hair was kind of like Roseanne Rosannadana, and I prefer straight (I know, I'm dating myself).  

Anyway, after I got over my initial disappointment, I was surprised to find out what a really enjoyable person she was and damn if I didn't have a good time with her, despite myself.  I saw her again, and didn't notice her figure so much this time.  Saw her again, and didn't even think about it because I was so excited about seeing her again.  As I got to know her better, I really grew to love her company and no longer thought at all about the fact that she departed from my ideal.

Of course, you ladies sell a measure of fantasy with your service, and like everybody else I certainly have a preference for a specific physical body type, but this was a good lesson for me not to be so dismissive of a woman just because she didn't meet my idea of perfection.  I've actually had this happen twice, and both times the women made me feel so good, I quit thinking about their figures on subsequent visits.  On the other hand, I've had beautiful hardbody women make me feel like shit, so there are no absolutes in this business.  

I do think, however, most guys would agree that if you are a purveyor of sexual fantasy and desire, then you should make an effort to have a nice appearance and stay in shape, especially since it's a given that you'll end up au natural.  But feminine beauty comes in many sizes and shapes.  I prefer a proportional figure (nothing exaggerated) and it can come in many sizes or frames.  But you should always leave room for that "intangible" element of feminine attraction which can take so many forms.  For example, I recently met an escort that was really nice, but just wasn't my physical "type."  That was before I put my arm around her waist and gave her a big hug and felt the softest, most wonderful skin I'd ever felt in my life.  I actually thought about it for days, fantasizing about what it would like to be next to her.  Oh, by the way, she had "A" cup breasts and was probably considered too tall (6'0") and skinny by some- but I'm still hoping to see her in the future!

I realize a lot of guys feel that as long as there's another number to call, then they should keep looking until they find  their perfect woman.  Well, you're entitled to that if that's your thing, but you may miss out on some great experiences in the process- and variety IS the spice of life!

-- Modified on 3/5/2002 7:51:48 PM

provider5952 reads

Fortunately for the human species,  men become more attractive to me after I have sex with them a few times and we have a few conversations. As an adult I have figured out that orgasms don't last long enough to compensate for a deficient personality.  Is personality everything?  NO!

However, when it comes to the guys paying us, I side with them on this issue.  It is not impossible for men to get women, it is just more convenient if it is with us.  They are paying for better than average at least, no matter what size you are.

If you can't stay fit or advertise as a BBW, then you are not keeping to your side of the bargain.   When I was a dancer my club owner would tell certain girls,  "Loose the pot belly within a week or your gone."  I was never warned about weight, but I stayed much thinner than usual because I dreaded the threat of being fired for my weight.  I am not a fat girl and not flabby, but I am big and I know how to face reality head on.  If you love this job, then act like it.  GO to the gym if you must, hire that plastic surgeon, get that face life, or join Jenny Craig.  This is a personality profession, yet mostly  it is a looks profession and don't EVER forget it.

dman5726 reads

I have to say that this has really given me pause.  Since I consider Provider to be WAY above average in physical fitness, and I tend to go for women who are NOT big, I really have to wonder how skewed our society has become in pursuit of some unnatural goal.  Without spilling any info about who she is, I WOULD have to say that Provider's body can ONLY be described as that of an extremely fit, normal, athletic, healthy woman.  And yet she is clearly indicating that because she is not some anorexic waif, that she faces anxiety and pressure within her professional millieu, to pursue an appearance that would clearly be LESS normal, and LESS healthy than she would maintain in her normal state.  It's one thing for someone who is overweight to recieve societal signals to address this - I know, because I personally am overweight.  But when this type of pressure is being felt by folks who are really FIT, as Provider here is, then we've got to stop and ask what the consequences are.  And I think we know the answer - Anorexia is running rampant among young women, because are media is brainwashing them into trying to fit unnatural expectations.

SexyCurvesDC5425 reads

For a girl who's "not keeping her side of the bargain" I am doing amazingly well, as are many many other ladies you think should "face reality and get to Jenny Craig."

I really feel like people in this thread missed the entire POINT of Sable's original post... but that aside, we are not "strippers," nor would I ever want to be. My photos are honest and accurate and the gents who show up at my door know *exactly* what to expect.

And show up they do.  My job is to provide a beautiful lady inside and out for gentlemen to enjoy, and I do that... and I do it extremely well.  You are entitled to your idea of what beauty is, but not entitled to tell others what beauty *must* be for THEM. I don't understand why it seems sooooooooooo impossible for those of the "perfect body only" folks on this board to believe that others MIGHT just like something different than you do. You might like blondes, they might like brunettes... you might like a six pack tummy, they might like curves... who are you to say that their choice is WRONG and that those of us with curves are failing to keep our side of a bargain you are dreaming up?

I have no issues with anyone making their own choices about who they are attracted to... I do have issues with anyone getting on here and saying us poor fat girls should wise up to YOUR version of reality.  For anyone whose fantasy I do NOT fit into, they are of COURSE welcome to go elsewhere... there are far too many others who find I am the answer to their fantasies, for me to complain about that lack... I sure don't notice them missing!

Why not just let everyone make their own choices instead of trying to fit us into some industry mold? I mean really, how HARD is it to simply say.. "To each his own?"

As for the paying for it issue...you are absolutely right. No man who wants a Barbie doll should pay for me, 'cuz I'm not that. I am not here to be anyone's disappointment.  A man who wants me, however, will pay for me.. how hard is that to understand?

I will never be a Barbie doll, nor do I have any desire to be. Marilyn Monroe is the woman who embodies sensuality to me, and I'd love to see anyone call her "fat" or a "failure." Let's just tend our own gardens and make our own choices, and stop worrying about what choices other people make.

Sincerely,
Nicole

I totally agree with "sexy curves" on this one. You can tell she is a big woman but yet she is very beautiful. I do strongly disagree with "providers" comment. Why the hell should we have to go get plastic surgery. What were you thinking when you said that? To go through all that pain and waste at least a few thousands. When we can save that money and retire earlier. "Provider" you need to rethink you thoughts. We are all built different and well we are all beautiful in are own way. Every man has there own choice. I was once 120 pounds and I look at those PICS of me .WOW! was I too dam skinny. Iam now about 145 pounds and I look a lot better and healthy and I get more clients now then when I was 120. So skinny is not necessarily better. Men say its O. K to look at but not to be intimate with. There all bones and no cushion. SO you for you men who have not tried a slightly heavier woman then don't knock it till you try it.

MartinLuther6463 reads

what are you looking here for?
didn't you see the EOM?

Quote from unknown source.  "After a man falls in love with a woman, he realizes that she is beautiful he just had never noticed it before".

Kym Regal7078 reads

In my experience, I have always been thin. I have looked the same forever. Is it my asian side? Is it my black side? I don't know, and I don't really care. If I thought my weight was giving me health problems, I would definitely do something about it. Black women are now at the top of the heap as most likely to have heart disease which is something you may want to consider. If you are comfortable with yourself then don't let anyone tell you what you should do ( I would never consider putting on weight cause someone tells me I look anorexic or I am not thick enough). I guess the only person I may listen to is my doctor. If he thought I needed to loose or gain weight because it is affecting my health, I would. BTW, I have had quite the opposite reaction to my body. Quite a few men think I am NOT fat enough. Ask me if I care. I eat like a horse ( If you ain't cooking with butter, you ain't cookin!) and I have never stepped in a gym. Am I blessed or am I cursed? It depends who you ask. If you ask me, I think I am just fine :)

With the escorts that I've been with, I have a reputation for being a perfect gentleman and a very generous tipper.  If there is anything I can do to make things more pleasurable for my partner, I'll do it with gusto.  (Hey, they may be faking orgasms with all the rest of you, but not with me. ;)  ;)  I feel that I treat all of these wonderful ladies the way that they hope to be treated.

However, I have no patience for an escort who is not in shape.  I simply find it a total turnoff. I'm not looking for a Karen Carpenter stick figure, but I don't want to see a saggy gut.

(I can hear the sound of some providers who might have previously pegged me for being a nice guy switching me into the category of A-hole.  Sorry, but that's just the way my big head -- and my little head -- are wired.)

This isn't like the George Costanza guy in Shallow Hal at a bar turning down anyone who isn't a supermodel. Average guys would expect to link up in a bar with average-looking women or those with average attitudes.  

But with an escort, a guy is paying serious money for someone who is not average looking and doesn't have an average attitude.

I don't care if a woman's chest is 38DD or 32AA.  I don't care if she has a classic model's high cheekbones (although those are nice) or not. I don't care if she's white, African-American, Latino, Asian or from friggin' Pluto. I don't care if she's blonde, redheaded or a brunette. It might even be okay if she's bald (up top and down below), but I'd have to think about that one. :-) Tatoos and piercing?  I'd prefer not, but I'm flexible. Partially shaved pussy or totally shaved? Both taste great to me.  :-)

However, I do care that she has a cute butt and a reasonably flat stomach.

YMMV.  I know a lot of guys would prefer a girl with big breasts along with a big butt and some extra girth in the middle over one with very small breasts, washboard abs and a tiny butt. Most of the responses in this thread are accepting of some fat. Not me. If I see "Baby Fat" or bigger in a review, I move on.

Am I being unreasonable?  Am I expecting a provider to do the unhealthy? I don't think so.

Professional athletes are expected to stay in shape or be replaced by those who are willing to do so.  An escort can being viewed as a professional athlete where the sport is sex and companionship.

An escort should take pride in her body and take care of it. Does this require only 500 calories a day or bulemia?  No.  If one isn't gifted with a naturally fast rate of metabolism, then an escort needs to be willing to spend considerable time in the gym or else face the fact that some guys aren't going to be happy about it.

Typically, the better you take care of your body, the more money you will make.  Or the more choosey you can be regarding clients.

If you're not willing to seriously exercise and prefer to yack up your food to your bodies' detriment, then that's your choice.  Not mine. Don't blame me.

Compare my requirement of an athletic escort with those guys who require big breasts.  You can achieve my demands in the gym; for women not naturally blessed with large breasts, the latter group of guys requires a boob job.  You can satisfy me in a healthy way.

And if you satisfy me, I'll make it worth your while.  :-)

SexyCurvesDC6843 reads

Simple solution for you is to not see any ladies you consider to be "out of shape." Easy, breezy, beautiful!

But don't think that simply because it is not *your* preferred body type, that ALL MEN feel that way, or even all "above average" men feel that way. It's simply not true.  I have one poor client who married a lady he thought was gorgeous as a size 12... she lost weight and is now a size 6, and he has no interest. Sort of the opposite from what you usually hear :)

All I know is... my phones are ringing, my clients are happy with me and how I look, and if I cannot please *EVERYONE* on the planet... well trying to do that would drive me insane anyways. To each their own, variety is the spice of life, and all that... :)

Have fun!
Nicole, a curvy girl :)

Purelust6367 reads

be alive today. Voluptuous, womanly, curvy, are all great. Some guys even like BBW. Personally, I think the rail thin waifs are not sexy (would still do them if their attitude were good...lol). Ladies, don't let a few guys dictate how you feel about yourself. There are many of us who appreciate a real woman.

I am one of those Full Figure Providers. And as Jessica said I have that same view: "you can take it or leave it attitude" Everyman has his different taste and as I have learned from myself we can't control what we are attracted to and what we aren't.  I know I have a great attitude, I know I'm intelligent, down to earth, sexy, and sensual.  Sure I'm not every mans cup of tea but that’s ok.

As far as health and some of you have seen in my reviews I have scar on my stomach from when I had surgery.  My surgery was from Gastric Bypass.  The Doctor removed 1/4 of my stomach from bad uslers and yes there were other problems that I had.  Since this surgery I no longer have Diabetes and have to take shots everyday, no longer have high blood pressure.  And have lost since May of last year 145lbs and lose more every week.
My Regulars love seeing the change in me every time they see me next.  

I have such a zest for life and the desire to make others happy and feel good that you can't help but have this rubbed off on you when you’re around me. I’m a very happy person and I’m glad that there are Clients out there that enjoy my body and my touch my laughter and most important, my heart.  I know that when they leave my place they don’t forget what a wonderful time they have had and how I made them feel.  

And again as Jessica said, If you like me for me that’s ok and if you don’t that’s ok too. Every man and woman has different desires and wants.  If I am yours, then wonderful.

RED in Southern CA.


-- Modified on 3/5/2002 10:29:38 AM

-- Modified on 3/6/2002 7:50:10 AM

she can't be properly rode!  Just my 'pinion.

I love voluptuous women.  Without that little bit of extra smooth flesh, they wouldn't hit me with enough pressure in all the right erogenous places!

CelticLass5807 reads

I always read with interest any thread pertaining to the issue of weight in this business. 2 years ago when I started in this indulgence there was a fury of ongoing discussion in the TBD boards about whether or not BBWs belong in the escort industry. It was pretty split right down the middle. Of course I had to chime in on occasion. The fall out of my postings came in the form of ugly e-mails, scary phone calls and the occasional death threat. But the positive side was hearing from the people out there who thought that my posts brought up alot of interesting issues and for a few gents who took a chance and saw a "larger" provider and discovered many erotic nuances they had been missing.


For alot of gents the hobby is about fullfilling that "fantasy" that seemed so out of their reach. The 2 girl experience, seeing a girl who looks like the cheerleader in high school they never could get up the nerve to talk to, or to just "date" a woman they find so incredibly attractive. For others it's about the woman inside. Someone to talk to, to have dinner with, someone who is passionate and caring and can help them experinece all they can not find elsewhere. You can not put a "body type" on that. The intimacy and passion of this hobby is so different for everyone.


I am a large woman. I stand 5'10" and weigh in at 240lbs. (sigh, I have never posted that before...LOL) I am a 44d I have a waist and pretty fair legs. There are alot of gents who do not find me attractive because of my size. I do not fault any of them because of it, because they are the ones who are booking the time. Do I work out? Yes, I walk a treadmill everyday. I do it because it makes me feel better and it gives me time to just reflect and meditate. I could loose the weight and go back to being the size 12 I was years ago, but it takes time and commitment I honestly do not have. So I do what is nessacary to be healthy and happy. I have normal blood pressure and no health problems. I did however have a minor stroke at the age of 19 when I was a size 10. Go figure.


I guess where I am going with this is that....I have admirers that do not care about my size, but about me as a person. I have gents who see me in vegas for just dinner and drinks because they like me as person but would never book "private time" because my type does not appeal to them. For me it's all good. I am happy with who I am and the way I look. It ultimately comes down to how you feel inside. If you are happy with your own personal package that will reflect in how you present yourself. I have guys tell me all the time that with my personality, if i was a size 7 I would be rich. But I always think....if I was that size would I still be the woman I am that some men find attractive? They obviously don't see me for my physical attributes...so it must be something else.


xoxoxox
Lass



You're an awesome friend and always have been!  Love ya girl!

Hugs and Kisses,  ~~Jessi

Jessica Lee Lace of Missouri!

Beautifully said and a Beautiful woman you are.

When I decided to become a provider I thought there is no problem for a plus size woman to do this if is is pretty, sophisticated, smart, classy and confident. Men wanted to date me all the time anyway so I made the best of it.

I have to run now because I have a client coming in about two mins.

Big girls are great!

I think someone here has already said it best that it is a matter of proportion.  I have my own personal likes and dislikes, and don't think that a girl has to be rail thin. I've dated lots of ladies with a little meat or slightly larger hips. This isn't a problem.
However, those advertisements that say BBW - now those are fat. No two ways around it. Some guys like that (Lord knows why?) so I don't care either, but I certainly wouldn't call. Those advertising as VOLUPTOUS, certainly fall into a good category with which may be a little thicker, but usually have very good proportions.

CelticLass5361 reads

The term BBW is always misleading. I have heard in the 2 years I have been in this business that BBWs are generally 350lbs+. That would leave me out of that catagory. But some hobbiests consider BBWs to be anyone over a size 14, and that would keep me in there. It is used for women who have larger thighs, a belly or is tall and voluptuous or even short and zoftig. It is a very widely used term but has alot of different variables...just like the term GFE *wink*.


To pass on a provider because she says she is a BBW does you both an injustice. I have seen ladies with sites who say they are BBWs and they have small soft round tummys and maybe bigger hips and breasts but beautifully proportioned with soft skin and gorgeous features. And they are not fat by any stretch of the imagination.


"However, those advertisements that say BBW - now those are fat. No two ways around it. Some guys like that (Lord knows why?)" There are many ways around that statement IMHO...and lord know we all have opinions. GUys see BBWs for the same reasons they see girls built like little boys, or women with breast implants, or Dommes or redheads, blondes, asians, latinas ect. It is their preference and their fantasy.  


I dont begrudge anyone their preference, we all have them. It's the nature of the beast. Some say I'm fat, some say I'm Voluptuous and others say I am just a nice person and a good provider....and it's the latter that I strive to be. I honestly think there is room in this biz for everyone.

CelticLass,
You are correct. The guy that posted that (me) was just in jerk mode at the time. As you say, there is room in this hobby for everyone, jerks like me included. You were very understanding and I thank you for that.

Mathesar6220 reads

Decades ago I knew a black woman model and she would diet herself down to the point where she lost all her curves. Not sexy from my standpoint. She looked much better to my eyes when she was ten pounds heavier than the weight she felt she should be at. Unfortunately, as you state, the camera adds weight.

A point not noted in the discussion is that, on average, tall people (both men and women) are more slender than short people. If they were proportioned the same as short people weight would go up as the cube of height. In actuality, weight tends to go up as the SQUARE of height. This is well known to health professionals and is reflected in the use of Body Mass Index where the formula is:

  BMI := 703.07 * w / (h * h)

where:
  w is weight in pounds
  h is height in inches

In the 1980's (I haven't kept track since then) Playboy Playmates had BMI's in the 16 to 20 range. This was when breast implants were less common. (They weigh a few pounds -- up to five I think.)

I generally find women with BMI's of 20 to 25 to have attractive shapes. Below 20 looks good to the camera but starts to get a little thin for my tastes. Above 25 you start to see excess bulges here and there. I don't have much experience with ladies who spend a lot of time in the gym, but I know muscle is more dense than fat, and I suspect that a body builder could go above 25 and still look good.

Incidentally, I am very short (5'5") and we short men have somewhat the same problem as heavy women. Just as thin is good in our culture so is tall. Most of the women I have dated are taller than I am -- especially when they are wearing heels. Not a problem for me but I think it has been for some ladies.

-- Modified on 3/5/2002 2:02:27 PM

I have preferences. I pay for the opportunity to indulge in them. If you don't match my preferences, please don't lie to me by means of some "contextual shifting" of the numbers, simply to mislead me into something YOU think I OUGHT to enjoy. I enjoy what I CHOOSE TO ENJOY. Not what someone else WANTS me to find enjoyable or thinks I OUGHT to find enjoyable (which, gee what a surprise, coincides exactly with what she can provide to me for a price).

Now, that having been said ... I do agree that most men have a warped view of the numbers-game. We tend to think that anything above, say, 120 pounds, is "fat" and therefore, when we see those numbers on a web-site, we get a wrong impression in our heads. I base all my decisions on revealing pictures. If I can't get revealing pictures from the website, I don't date her. I do tend to ignore the numbers posted for weight, measurements, height, etc., because I know they can be misleading.

So, what's a girl to do?

1. Lose weight if you want my business, or (no doubt happily) do without my business.

2. Lie to your clients, posting false numbers that will coax the more innumerate men (those who believe 121 is "fat") to look at your pictures and make up their minds AFTER having seen the goods.

3. Simply eliminate any numbers from your website. Say "hot looking" and post a link to pictures that purport to prove that fact. Don't cover up your waistline, as do so many providers in their photos. Women who don't have the courage to SHOW the world what their bellies and (lack of?) abdominal muscles are like, are women who are HIDING something.

Size is a natural biological marker of sexiness in a woman's body for a heterosexual male. Most of us tend to prefer partners who are physically of proportions that remind us of the young teen body. We want her to be smaller than us, skinner than most women, MUCH skinner than most North American women, with certain ratios among her body-parts. Those preferences ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE and ARE NOT WRONG PREFERENCES TO HAVE. Men are allowed to feel what they want to feel about body shape, and by damn even if they TRIED to "fix" this supposed political incorrectness very little progress would be made.

So, what's a girl to do? Accept reality and work with it. Men want you skinny. Deal with it, change it, lie about it, or conceal it. But if you conceal it or lie about it, realize you've deliberately mislead your customers. That's up to you, but it's an act I can't condone.


-- Modified on 3/5/2002 3:26:46 PM

"Most of us tend to prefer partners who are physically of proportions that remind us of the young teen body. We want her to be smaller than us, skinner than most women, MUCH skinner than most North American women, with certain ratios among her body-parts. Those preferences ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE and ARE NOT WRONG PREFERENCES TO HAVE."

I couldn't possibly disagree more with much of ths stament!  A sizable percentage of men prefer the Marilyn Monroe-type body!  And I doubt the majority want someone who has the body of a young teen!  In fact, I think MOST men care more about big boobs, which are seldom found on skinny women!  Smaler than us I agree with, but I really doubt that most men like 'em "skinny."

"I couldn't possibly disagree more with much of ths stament!  A sizable percentage of men prefer the Marilyn Monroe-type body!  And I doubt the majority want someone who has the body of a young teen!  In fact, I think MOST men care more about big boobs, which are seldom found on skinny women!  Smaler than us I agree with, but I really doubt that most men like 'em "skinny.""

Well he speaks the truth as far as I am concerned.  Its not easy to speak in generalities.  I prefer them young, natural and slender.  I'd take a natural A cup over an enhanced set of D's or DD's any day.  My ideal is a natural B or C with a proportional body.  I'm mid 40's and I am in shape.  Guys preferences are all over the board and there is no perfect chick for all of us.  Guess it goes back to the poll question about looks and service.  Show me a youthful 10 that offers 9 or 10 service and you'll find a very popular and probably expensive escort.

My statement, "Most of us tend to prefer partners who are ..."

is not contradicted by your statement, "A sizable percentage of men prefer ...".

My statement, "physically of proportions that remind us of the young teen body"

is not contradicted by your statement, "MOST men care more about big boobs"

nor does it imply that I think most men prefer your statement, "skinny women."

Your zeal to prove your political correctness has caused you to ignore the contents of my post. Generalizations about usual male preferences can indeed be made, on the basis of extensive research, and they are generalizations I have expressed and you have in no way departed from. Again, I say, the issue is simply one of political correctness -- those who deviate from the norm wish to get all up in arms about how the norm isn't right. Deal with it. Reality exists. Most men prefer something. It's simply a fact.

that's really funny.  I wasn't up in arms.  I just disagree with you.  And of course, you haven't cited any objective statistics, have you?  You've just expressed your opinion as though it were a fact.  And I could give a rat's ass about being politically correct, just as you apparently could give a rat's ass about being polite.

sixpac6179 reads

Ladies you're not alone.  Guys worry about how their bodies look too.  And just like women, some work hard to stay in shape, some don't, and some are genetically blessed and so they don't need to.

I think one thing you will find common to all guys who work hard to stay in shape is that they prefer women who do as well.  In shape does NOT mean skinny.  A woman can maintain an athletic build while at the same time retaining the soft and feminine look.  In fact, I think most guys find women with too much muscle definition or too low body fat to be a turn off.

I don't like double standards.  If a gentleman wants a lady who is in great physical shape, I think he should keep himself in great physical shape.  What's good for the goose is good for the gander!

FWIW, it doesn't have to cost a lot to get in shape, and you don't need a health club or gym.  You can accomplish a lot with simple isometric exercises, a few cheap free weights, and a pair of running shoes!  It doesn't have to take lots of time either, 30 minutes a day will do it.  The one thing it WILL take though is dicipline.

The many replies to this posting shows that there is a market for women of all body types.  Great performance and attitude will more than make up for a little baby fat, so don't sweat it too much.

Personally, I prefer women that are at least in shape.  I'd be disappointed to have someone overweight show up for a session.  I pay a significant amount of money to spend an hour or two with you.  There must be a reason why I choose you over the SO.  If you want to continue to earn the big bucks and stay in the business, I suggest you find time to hit the gym.  I mean, we're talking an hour or two per day.  If all you are doing is sleeping with guys all day and night, you should be damn wealthy now and looking toward retirement.  

I work out almost every day and it is tough sometimes to get motivated.  It matters to me.  Too many people are out of shape these days.  I don't think its a matter of starving yourself or using strictly diet to stay lean.  Try working out, you'll feel better in more ways than one!

sweetsable6400 reads

It was well said (rudely in some cases) that the hobbyist is paying for the "Fantasy" and if we want to make more money we have to lose the weight.

In a previous post I said there should be "Standards" in our industry and that a woman must know how to maintain the fantasy and adhere to those "standards" in order to be called a courtesan. The error in my thinking is that I realize now that WEIGHT "IS" an intrinsic part of the fantasy. I call myself a "Courtesan" because of the exceptional warm and friendly GFE I provide...yet I'm not truly fulfulling his fantasy if a guy has to "look past" my little stomach "pooch" or my ample hips and butt.

I'm glad to know that all shapes and sizes are welcome in our industry, but I concede that a "slim, firm, Toned" body is the kind of body that will get more phone calls.

I think everyone should be at the weight they are happy with, if we were all cookie cutter copies of eachother then it wouldnt be fun for the hobbyists would it? :0)

I also realize that "Anorexia, Bulimia, Diet Pills, Drugs, Etc" are bad ways to lose the weight. I purchased the book "Make The Connection"..I figured if Oprah could lose all that weight with diet and exercise so can I...she had like 75 to 100 lbs to lose...I only have 20 to 30...I CAN DO IT DAMMIT! :0)~

signing off...

"the incredible shrinking" sable

ps. To Celtic Lass - Girl you are BEAUTIFUL! To all the BBW Providers..."You Go Girls!" We are all beautiful!

CelticLass5733 reads

But a sincere wish to know what everyone else is thinking :)

I have seen your sight and I think you are lovely. There are some here that are convinced if you do not work out, see a plastic surgeon, eat all "healthy foods" and generally do what they think is in the realm of beauty, then you have no business here. Well I for one can tell you as one who has done very well in Vegas in the company of so many slimmer, well toned providers, that your attitude will keep you doing well.


I do not feel that I hide anything on my site. I try and keep the pictures tasteful, yet reveal what is here, which is a large, soft woman. You can say the body type is the biggest part of the fantasy, and that may very well be true for some hobbiests, but it is not that way for others. We can not generalize the thinking of the men who see us. They do so for many different reasons. And what turns one on about one girl will most likely be a turn off for another.


Do what YOU want to do...work out and see if you feel renewed and better about yourself. Spend the time or the money because you want to...not because of the hope of financial gain. Let "Sable" be the deciding factor in which path you choose to go. Because in the big scheme of things...you are the one staring at here in the mirror every morning when you wake up. *wink* Make sure there is that inner glow there.....


be well darling,
xoxox
Lass

straightman7165 reads

I wonder how many of us client types cound use a few more minutes at the gym? Perfection is a vision, comparing your insides to other people's outsides and never measuring up. F that!

Just live life.

Mathesar5367 reads

he has some interesting things to say on this issue. The rest of this post is a quote from the book.

The most culturally variable standard of beauty seems to be in the preference for a slim versus plump body build. This variation is linked with the social status that body build conveys. In cultures where food is scarce, such as among the Bushmen of Australia, plumpness signals wealth, health, and adequate nutrition during development. In cultures where food is relatively abundant, such as the United States and many western European countries, the relationship between plumpness and status is reversed, and the rich distinguish themselves through thinness. Men apparently do not have an evolved preference for a particular amount of body fat per se. Rather, they have an evolved preference for whatever features are linked with status, which varies in predictable ways from culture to culture. Clearly such a preference does not require conscious calculation or awareness.

Studies by the psychologist Paul Rozin and his colleagues reveal a disturbing aspect of women's and men's perceptions of the desirability of plump versus thin body types. American men and women viewed nine female figures that varied from very thin to very plump. The women were asked to indicate their ideal for themselves, as well as their perception of what men's ideal female figure was. In both cases, women selected a figure slimmer than average. When men were asked to select which female figure they preferred, however, they selected the figure of average body size. American women erroneously believe that men desire thinner women than is the case. These findings refute the belief that men desire women who are emaciated.

While men's preferences for a particular body size vary, the psychologist Devendra Singh has discovered one preference for body shape that is invariant -- the preference for a particular ratio of waist size to hip size. Before puberty, boys and girls show a similar fat distribution. At puberty, however, a dramatic change occurs. Boys lose fat from their buttocks and thighs, while the release of estrogen in pubertal girls causes them to deposit fat in their lower trunk, primarily on their hips and upper thighs. Indeed, the volume of body fat in this region is 40 percent greater for women than for men.

The waist-to-hip ratio is thus similar for the sexes before puberty. After puberty, however, women's hip fat deposits cause their waist-to-hip ratio to become significantly lower than men's. Healthy, reproductively capable women have a waist-to-hip ratio between 0.67 and 0.80, while healthy men have a ratio in the range of 0.85 to 0.95. Abundent evidence now shows that the waist-to-hip ratio is an accurate indicator of women's reproductive status. Women with a lower ratio show earlier pubertal endocrine activity. Married women with a higher ratio have more difficulty becoming pregnant, and those who do become pregnant do so at a later age than women with a lower ratio. The waist-to-hip ratio is also an accurate indication of long-term health status. Diseases such as diabetes, hypertension, heart problems, previous stroke, and gallbladder disorders have been shown to be linked with the distribution of fat, as reflected by the ratio, rather than with the total proportion of body fat. The link between the waist-to-hip ratio and both health and reproductive status makes it a reliable cue for ancestral men's preferences in a mate.

Singh discovered that waist-to-hip ratio is a powerful cue to women's attractiveness. In a dozen studies conducted by Singh, men rated the attractiveness of female figures, which varied in both their waist-to-hip ratio and their total amount of fat. Men find the average figure to be more attractive than a thin or fat figure. Regardless of the total amount of fat, however, men find women with low waist-to-hip ratio to be the most attractive. Women with a ratio of 0.70 are seen as more attractive than women with a ratio of 0.80, who in turn are seen as more attractive than women with a ratio of 0.90. Sudies with line drawings and with computer-generated photographic images produced the same results. Finally, Singh's analysis of Playboy centerfolds and winners of beauty contests within the United States over the past thirty years confirmed the invariance of this cue. Although both centerfolds and beauty contest winners got thinner over that period, their waist-to-hip ratio remained exactly the same at 0.70.

There is one more possible reason for the importance of waist-to-hip ratio in men's evolved preferences. Pregnancy alters this ratio dramatically. A higher ratio mimics pregnancy and therefore may render women less attractive as mates or sexual partners. A lower ratio in turn, signals health, reproductive capacity, and lack of current pregnancy. Men's standards of female attractiveness have evolved over thousands of generations to pick up on this reliable cue.

-- Modified on 3/7/2002 1:39:23 AM

Desiree5941 reads

I am sure that many men think I am fat.  Good, let them.  I LOVE my body.  I am 5'10 and I weigh more than 150 lbs.  I wont tell how much more because I think weight as a number is a lie.  I go to the gym and actually work NOT to get too skinny. I am healthy, actually healthier than a lot of the ultra skinny girls.  I would be mortified to be a size 6.  I am the same dress size that Marylin Monroe was, only I am about 4 inches taller.  She was one of modern histories biggest and most loved sex symbols.
In my opinion, a large portion of the men today are not completely obsessed with waif like beanpole girls.  If they are, well I am fortuante enough to never meet them. Not a diss to their taste, just not my type of man.

I say, "Go GirL!" to all of my thick sisters (of all creeds);.  Eat if you are hungry and go for it you want dessert.  I pit health over the magazine mold any day!
PS.  Magazines are for beauty and fashion tips...thats about it.

Desiree of Portland

And there as got be be a way for me to develope some business in Portland, just so I may introduce mayself to you, Sweet Desiree. Dress size notwithstanding, you are pretty as a butterfly on a Spring day.

G26057 reads

You have a beautiful proportional feminine figure, and you look the way real women (not ematiated high fashion models) are supposed to look.  I can't imagine too many men that wouldn't find you very attractive, I certainly do.

So there you have it, proof that both men and women think you're hot!

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