Lets say you meet someone special. After the second date they come out and tell you they have an STD.

Would anyone like to share?

It was a first date date with in the civ world. We were having a lovely Indian meal, and he with all honestly confessed to having the genital herpes virus but hadn't never had a break out yet.

Needless to say I didn't go back to his place. And after a few polite phone calls in the future, I made a point of loosing touch with him.

If I loved someone, and were going to be sexually committed to them and ONLY them, I would consider it.

However, I'm a slut. So I have a responsibility to stay clean, and thus the idea of dating someone with an incurable STD is unthinkable.  It would mean a huge change in lifestyle that I really really don't want.

There's more than enough to worry about in life than to add that to the pile. I'd feel very sorry for the person, but my life is complicated enough already.

maybe an LTD or GTO, but those STDs will kill you.

you can still date them but no sex..

but not bodily fluids with someone who has an STD. lol

I love sex waay too much to be involved with someone with an STD.  There would never be a date number two.

Again, call me a selfish pig, but I plan on having sex with another several hundred (or thousands if I last that long) women in my life, to knowingly put them at risk for someone I just met, now "that" would be selfish. lol

Probably 20% of hobby population has the STD, genital herpes.  As a Provider you have done scores if not hundreds of clients that that have this STD and probably other incurable STDs like HPV.  Knowing someone has a particular STD allows proper measures to be taken to minimize the risk. You are probably greater risk of being infected by a client with unknown STD status than with an honest client or personal friend with a known STD like herpes in which proper measures are taken to avoid transmission.

rare tropical form of spirochete that seems to be resistant to all forms of treatment. It's kinda like my hobby within a hobby.  Here, check this beauty out!  BTW, the normal color of this handsome specimen is white!  Just turned black a few days ago when it went into "bloom"  

It is true that in my past I have probably met people with STD's but using protection prevented transmission.

It was most honourable of the civ to tell me about his condition, and I found that respectful. Though I appreciated his honesty, I'm not rolling the dice.  He contracted it because he dated a woman for three years that had herpes, and though they were careful he still contracted the virus. Civ or client, as soon as someone *knows* beyond a shadow of a doubt that they have an STD, I'm not inviting them into my bed. I have a responsibility to all those who play with me, to stay clean at all cost, and take all necessary measures to do so.  

I don't agree that I am at greater risk as a provider.  Unlike an SO, I always use protection. Furthermore,  I meet about 5 new people a year. All my regular friends, which is the vast majority of my business, get tested regularly and inform me of their results (as I do when I get mine done).  

So I don't feel that I'm put at greater risk as a provider. That's the whole point to being low volume.

I get a comprehensive STD test (about $300) two weeks before every appointment. That gives me time, should something come back positive, to cancel the date without economic harm to the lady.

In my case, I don't share the results. That's because I am not interested in BBFS and if I were to share the results, the lady might erroneously assume that was my aim. So I keep the results to myself to avoid people jumping to conclusions. Of course, the fact I go through with the date indicates the tests were negative.

Of course, it would also be a cold day in hell before most providers would share THEIR results. So there is an issue of reciprocity there too.

As we all know, a negative result does NOT mean disease free. Not only can it take months for certain antibodies to show up; but there are plenty of non-std but communicable diseases that could be spread by kissing for which I am not testing.

So the fact that I test does NOT make me "safe" any more than a provider getting tested makes her "safe."

Nevertheless, I believe I have a moral responsibility to myself and others to make certain I am not acting as a vector or disease.

Because even though a negative does not mean "safe" -- a positive quite likely means "unsafe."

I must say I am VERY pleasantly surprised to hear of a provider who shares her test results with clients. In the case of a provider with a policy such as your own; because you'd know better than to jump to adverse assumptions, I wouldn't mind sharing mine in exchange.

”It was most honourable of the civ to tell me about his condition, and I found that respectful. Though I appreciated his honesty, I'm not rolling the dice.  He contracted it because he dated a woman for three years that had herpes, and though they were careful he still contracted the virus.”

What steps were taken? Did they use protection all the time? Did they use a female condom that offers greater protection because greater coverage area? Abstain during active outbreak.  Was the HSV2 + partner on antiviral drugs?  Using these procedures about 1% of herpes-discordant couples will result in herpes transmission to the uninfected partner in year.  Assuming an average frequency of intercourse of 100/ year that would result in a risk per coital contact of less than 1/10,000.  I suspect you risk is comparable with client of unknown Herpes status who is most likely asymptomatic and if they are infected are not on antiviral drugs.

“ I don't agree that I am at greater risk as a provider.  Unlike an SO, I always use protection. Furthermore,  I meet about 5 new people a year. All my regular friends, which is the vast majority of my business, get tested regularly and inform me of their results (as I do when I get mine done).  

So I don't feel that I'm put at greater risk as a provider. That's the whole point to being low volume.”

Regular condoms offer about 50% protection against genital herpes infection. Do you really require all you hobby male friend to present an updated test results.  What do you mean by “tested regular”? Every month, every 3 months, annually or even longer? Your regular client could have been infected in the intervals between test. It may surprise you to know that testing for genital herpes is quite involve and usually not done in asymptomatic infected individuals.  HPV the most frequent transmitted STD also is not usually tested in males.

Not every sexual contact with an infected partner will result in transmission.  As the result along with the number of partners another factor is the frequency of the sexual contact with a potential infected partner.  For genital herpes, using all precaution, the transmission rate is very low, yet you friend still got infected by his ONE infected partner largely because of the frequency of sexual contact.  I don’t know how many regulars you have but I suspect more than one is infected with genital herpes. In Russian roulette the number of chamber in the pistol is important but also the number of times you pull the trigger is also important.  The point is low volume is just one many important factors that determine your risk. BTW you may be low volume as Providers go but I suspect compared to the average civvie lady you are not. Adding to your risk is probably on average you have a higher frequency of sexual contacts.  If so you are at a greater risk than the average civvies that also religiously practicing safe sex.


-- Modified on 5/14/2010 3:34:32 PM

Some gifts that keep on giving are not good

-- Modified on 5/14/2010 1:33:49 PM

"HPV, the most frequently transmitted STD, is not usually tested in males."

"Usually tested"?  

Its not tested at all, and if someone tells you they are testing you for it, and you happen to be male, and then they're charging you for it, I would demand my money back.  There is currently not a test for HPV in men.

It is also NOT the most frequently transmitted STD, but I'll leave that up to you to do the research on.  In doing a little research, we also tend to learn something we didnt know along the way.

There is currently no FDA-approved test to detect HPV in men. That's because an effective, reliable way to collect a sample of male genital skin cells, which would allow detection of HPV, has yet to be developed.

Link included below.

John Galt said it best in his answer.

There are a lot factors that go into deciding whether to date someone. For me, there are many things higher up my priority list than someone’s STD status; integrity being way up there.

There are people running around all over the place either, not sharing their status with partners, or unaware of their status. So, someone who has multiple sexual partners has already, in all likelihood, ‘dated’ someone with an STD; they just didn’t know it.

Someone who demonstrated the integrity to tell me up-front so that I can make an informed decision, is already moving up the attractiveness scale for me

There would need to be informed and vigilant risk management, of course. And the decision process changes depending on circumstance; obviously there is a difference in risk management between something like HSV2, for example, and HIV….  

But, if this person was special enough to me to pursue a dating/relationship, this becomes one more aspect of that person as a whole…..and like anything else in life; you find creative ways to manage it.

Are you joking or retarded?  I am serious.