My dad didn't do it for me, and I did not either for my two sons. Learning on one's own is the way it should be. You remember the lessons longer, and enjoy them more.
I grew up in the 60s in a developing country, predominantly catholic with a strong macho culture. Women fell into two categories. Good girls that you would take home to mom,and bad girls that would require a penance of 20 Hail Marys and 20 Our Fathers.
When I was fourteen, I heard of stories about fathers bringing their sons to bordellos when they reached the age of 18 to teach them whay it is all about. Remember, this was back in the sixties and life for a hobbyist and providers was different. It was the age of pointed bras, blue mascara. Boys were dreaming of Sophia Loren and later Elizabeth Taylor. Playboy mags were tucked under our beds along with our packs of Lucky Strikes.
Well my father was not the type to mentor me and coach me in the romantic ways. In fact I had to learn about everything on my own. I lost my virginity when I was 15 to a 22 year old French lady, a friend of my cousin who was just visiting.
So the question I wanted to ask before I started day dreaming was, if you had a son, would you consider taking him to a provider for his first time experience when he turned 18.
Self discovery of the mysteries of women and sex are a great part about growing up. Comparing notes and experiences with your friends may be part of this deal but not dad.
As a parent I wanted my son (and daughter) to be educated, safe and mature. Beyond that then go out and enjoy...
My dad didn't do it for me, and I did not either for my two sons. Learning on one's own is the way it should be. You remember the lessons longer, and enjoy them more.
Parents, especially fathers, should see that their sons are educated into the basics of sex, reproduction, health, safety, etc. These days, there is so much really good information via internet and bookstores on the aspects of lovemaking and romance that parents don't have to get into it, although in an ideal situation the son would feel comfortable enough with the father to ask basic questions and get frank and honest answers, without moralizing and hypocrisy. That rarely happens, even in healthy father-son relationships. I have four grown sons, all of whom are far more sexually knowledgeable than I was at their age, and those who are married have great wives and children, and those who are not are not in need of fatherly advice, and from what I can see are both ardent and respectful in the endless chase of transcendental pussy.
My dad didn't do it to me and I didn't do it to my sons. But I still remember very fondly that afternoon, by the river, when Lotti and I decided that playing "wandering hands" in the upper balcony of the movie house was not enough. We were both 17, first-timers, and did not make mistakes, a critical point since "the pill" did not exist - then. Yeech, I just dated myself, but everybody who had skied with me knows that I've been 22 for so long that I now admit to 29 and a multiplier (no, it isn't 3! Nyaahh!)
No. Call me repressed, but it's just a tad on the creepy side talking about sex with my old man, let alone having him pay for me to get laid. I would assume that my sons would feel the same way, if I had any. That said, I lost my virginity to a provider when I was 17, and I paid with my own money.
...in about an hour I'm taking my 10 year-old son to his 4th or 5th tennis lesson. My son likes sports (especially basketball and baseball), but during the summer he got sucked into the "it's too hot outside, so I'll play video games with my friends" trap. Just found out from the parents of his friend who lives down the street, that they think their son is gay. They had one of their adult gay friends use her "gaydar" on him, and she reported that she's pretty sure their son is gay. I'm not sure what to make of all this, since the friend is only 9. But, I kinda think he might be gay, as well. He's a good kid, and I'm not about to tell my son that he can't be friends with him anymore. But one of the reasons we've pushed our son towards sports participation was to give him interests that limit his contact with the kids who just want to laze around playing video games and such. When baseball ended earlier this summer, I thought it would be too hot as well to get him involved in another sport during the the hottest part of the summer (it's hotter than HELL down here in the south right now). But my wife and I asked our son if he'd like to take up tennis, and he was excited about it. Mind you, this was b4 the whole "is the neighbor boy gay or not?" drama. My son has missed 1 lesson while we were at the beach and was scheduled to miss today's lesson as we were going to go camping. But I decided that I didn't want him to miss anymore tennis lessons, so we bagged the camping. Why? Because tennis chicks are waaayyy hott!! Mind you, not the 10 and 11 year olds. But when my son is 18 and wants to talk to an ultra-hottie, he can at least talk tennis with her. This was my tried and true method of scoring with hot chicks when I was a freshman in college. And I had to figure it out on my own. My son may never thank me for giving him the tools "to catch fish on his own" someday, but that's o.k. This is the way to help your son get laid, not taking him to a pro on his 18th b'day.
My dad was not a wealth of advice in regards to the mysteries of the opposite sex. His only real advice to me in my adolescence was "Don't knock em' up and don't get VD". I had to muttle through the mysteries pretty much on my own, and get the mechanics through a sex education class in school with ancillary research from the aforementioned "Playboy Magazine".
So far with the help of condoms in my teens and then a vasectomy in my early manhood I've strictly followed one of his edicts. I'm sure the safe sex practices brought on by the invention of AIDS has helped in satisfying his other warning.
I would not get a provider to take my son's virginity. A co-worker was contemplating the same idea for his nephew. Evidently, the nephew is obsessed w/getting laid. I explained that the boy could develop unhealthy attitudes towards women from the experience.
I guess maybe if you know your son is visiting providers, and you feel he is not visiting them safely, you would bring him to ones you verify yourself. Perfect example.....many many years ago this guy I knew was away in college. He smoked lots of pot. His Dad knew and couldn't get him to stop. His Dad was worried his son would buy bad pot laced, get robbed by drug dealers, or worse. So his Dad would buy pot from an upscale dealer that the dad knew, would then drive the pot up to his son every month. I know it sounds immoral, but if the son got killed buying pot or OD'd on bad pot, how would the Dad feel then?
IMHO, every man needs to make those choices on his own. As inferred above, most young men have girlfriends and/or lovers on their own by then. I think these sexual experiences are tremendous maturity builders. Once they have matured and can provide for themselves, I would be more than happy to point the proper direction and give moral support and guidance. Of course, I have only girls, so this may be just straight BS!!!
My father would never do that, nor did I for my son. However, in Michener's "Hawaii", a randy guy named Rafer Hoxworth did it for his son. The fantasy has (obviously) been stored in retrievable memory for more than 50 yrs. My introduction was typical: Six guys on the track team visited a brothel in Illinois. Mixture of macho, anxiety, humiliation, and rite of passage. It got better after that. For nostalgic purposes, the price was $5. and I remember her stage name too.
Bravo,.. That's what makes a DAD cool! and smart, ..
As you said why NOT? If a Dad cares about his son, knowing that all men sooner or later get involved in this hobby, he'd share his expriences with him, so that he does not make the same mistakes he did. It's not about encouraging him to hobby, it's educating him and help him pick one from his choices,... you do your part and leave the rest for him,...
..get involved in this hobby sooner or later in life- unless you are referring to sex as the hobby in question and not the "hobby" in the usual context (of sex with providers)
who are civies, but not afraid to discuss sex, romance and just how to treat a lady....
He does appreciate it... even with me standing by his side, he has the confidence to approach women - and talk to them.... When I read the above it makes me think that most dads are ok talking about the plumbing - and mechanics of sex.... but not the romance... and that is a forgotten art.... which I am trying to teach both my son and daughter...
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