TER General Board

Non-Provider Friend, how do I approach.
unclejohn32 1 Reviews 3673 reads
posted

There was a thread a month or so ago about this same subject, but after 30 minutes of searching I couldn't locate anything.  So if we don't want to hash out the same question again, if someone could point me in the right direction, that would suffice.

I have a friend, thatI've know for years.  She is very freespirited sexually and has shared with me on numerous occasions details about her sex life.  We've never approached the subject of getting together before, primarily because I'm married and would consider a "relationship" with this woman to be cheating.

On the other hand I feel that morally I have a better handle on the situation if it were a business transaction, much like I have engaged in with other providers.  So how can this happen? Should this happen?  I realize I'm splitting hairs on the cheating/business designation, but that is how my moral compass points.

Any help would be welcome.

There is no moral issue. Cheating is cheating whether you're paying for it or not. Extramarital sex is cheating any way you slice it. If you gave her $ for the act, would it be to help her out financially or would it be to ease your moral conscience? If you're both willing and are open with one another about what the expectations are, then the problem doesn't exist.

I have a co-worker who I've been close friends with for almost 20 years, and very close friends for the last year or so.  We have no secrets, talk about intimate issues, anything.  She even knows I hobby.  She didn't freak out when I told her, even asks me questions about it sometimes.

She's also a major babe, whose panties I've been dying to get into since the first day I met her.  She would never give in, though.  She knows I'm married (even knows my wife), and she doesn't go there.  She's not a prude, by any means, but tries to avoid sticky situations.  I would definitely pay for it, and told her so.  She thought about it, but said no.  Maybe I'll finally get it after another 20 years...

Anyway, I'd say go for it.  If she's such a free spirit, she probably won't be offended, but I'd avoid that "morality/business transaction" speech if I were you.  Good luck!

WhatTheHeck4372 reads

important than physical infidelity.  You may already be there by this more important criteria.  If you're not, and it's just a physical thing without romantic feelings, than you are only "guilty" of the much less important transgression.

-- Modified on 5/1/2003 8:52:14 PM

I agree with this completely.  I think this is perhaps the foundation of my business transaction statement from the earlier post.  With the grey of this issue, a very black/white action such as paying someone was an easy way to visualize the distinction.  The emotional commitment wouldn't be there in this situation.  It would just be physical

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