why on earth do men actually want bare back services with a provider?? Oral yes, I can understand that, but come on I love myself a little more than they think to not use condoms.

Come on, do they think we would do this AND don't they realize how many people we see??

I guess they don't care about their own health!!

Philadelphia's Tattooed Escort

ps Hey girls...do you get many requests for no condom use???

I would venture to say that this group falls into two camps..
THose that are truly reckless, and then a small group that gets very attached and comfortable with a provider.. feels safe and forgets the risk...

You have to understand.. We males hate barriors... And there is a difference in feeling.. But like you there is a line...
However, what if your all time favorite who you felt saw nobody was you, and was willing to get tested for every STD and go through three cycles of testing before he saw you.. would you then consider?  

In this scenario he is probably at more risk then you... Certainly not something you would want to advertise.. And I still think it crosses the line..

I can honestly say I've never, ever had a client ask me for this.  Which is a good thing as I doubt very much I would want to continue an appointment with somebody who thinks I have such little respect for my health and well being.

or set their hair on fire to see what it is like. TOOPID.

I quote from "The Polar Bear Strategy: Reflections on Risk in Modern Life", by John F. Ross, Perseus Books ( http://www.aw.com/gb/ ), "One person's high risk is another's lark. Anyone who's ever managed people, maintained friendships, or kept a marriage healthy has a good working knowledge of this basic tenet. It's a fact of life. Some people seek great physical risks as war correspondents or professional mountain climbers. Others, avoid them at all costs. Some academics seek high intellectual risks, other shun them. Until recently, psychologists believed that much of these personal differences among people were rooted in socialized or learned behavior. New research suggests that some of our predisposition or antagonism toward risk is rooted in biological functions. In other words, part of the reason a person is risk averse or risk prone may be hard-wired, that is, built directly into the individual's physical makeup. ...".

Although the book doesn't contain anything specifically directed toward the risks of using or not using condoms I highly recommend it.

My own most recent thoughts on condoms and regular STD testing are in a post which is now on page 2 where nobody is going to see it so I will give a link (below).


-- Modified on 2/4/2003 2:16:18 PM

The problem on these boards is nobody ever admits to catching any STD's so there is a false sense of security!

Its risky pleasure daty & bbbj. My opinon a cover should be used for bbbj's and daty. Play safe and live to play another day!

for me.  I do find it interesting that you have those requests.  I do not, but had at one time due to a review that erroneously stated that I did.  It was a wording error, the reviewer alerted and it was changed.  No problems with those requests since.  Perhaps you are in the same boat.  I would check and ask those that inquire as to why they think that you would provide those services.  It took a half a dozen storming away angrily before I finally had that one that enlightened me as to why.  He was understanding.

The others were not so stellar, but asked them if they were willing to contract the AIDS virus from me.  They did seem taken aback when I said that, perhaps the message did get through to a couple of them. I hate condoms as much as the gentlemen, but it is a necessary evil given the times that we live in and do not even care to associate with a gent that would want such an encounter.

Lauren

Well at least it is comforting to know that you are not crazy about them either.. I often wonder if the reduction in pleasure is pscychological but I don't think so.. Its an unfortunate fact of life..but with aids you just can't take the chance. Maybe some day a cure or preventive will come on the market, and we can all run around bare again like we did in the 80s but that day is along time away...

Where can you play it?  What is the payoff?

-- Modified on 2/4/2003 10:03:30 PM

-- Modified on 2/4/2003 10:08:43 PM

-- Modified on 2/4/2003 11:49:54 PM

I agree that it is completely nuts to go BB in a hobbyist/provider scenario, but I have experienced "completion" problems with a condom during intercourse.  Yet, when the condom comes off, the provider is quite able to finish me with a HJ, or covered but orally.  I haven't researched what accounts for this.

-Hoot.



-- Modified on 2/4/2003 8:33:01 PM

Based upon your post it sounds like you are commonly asked for bare backed intercourse.  It could be that you just have a low class clientele or that for some reason your male visitors believe that you may provide unprotected intercourse.

what if the provider "offers"?

what if she tells you she does with her boyfriend because how could she explain, since she is on the pill?

This is the business of both pleasure and human relations. It is a perfectly natural thing for a man to want sex naturally, without barriers, with a woman. Most likely, vice versa. I also think some providers don't like the feel of dragging latex several times a day, either.

BBFS happens between clients and providers much more frequently than you think. It is something too controversial to discuss here because the problem is not with a client or a provider catching an unwanted microbe, it is the passing on of said unwanted microbe to a significant other. Many here refuse to be honest with themselves about that, and it becomes problematical to have an honest discussion about it here.

To have unprotected sex with a stranger, particularly one who has multiple sex partners, is a reckless thing. However, doubtless, no matter what is preached here, it happens every day. Whether it's a worthy topic for discussion is another matter.

I've never asked a provider to go bareback, but I did have an interesting experience with my all time fave several months ago. First off, she is a truly gorgeous woman and in my opinion the best looking provider in the Atlanta market. She keeps pretty low under the radar so she'll go nameless. We got together one afternoon after not seeing each other for several weeks in addition to us both having lost loved ones recently. My mother and her grandfather had passed just days apart. Anyway, there was this electricity in the air from the moment we touched and kissed that I can't explain...maybe pent up anguish, energy, or what have you. We couldn't get each others clothes off fast enough and barely made it to the bed before we were intertwined. Our mouths were all over each other for several minutes when finally I rolled over on top of her and kissed her passionately. She then took ahold of my manhood and begin to guide me in. I kind of backed off and asked her if she was sure she wanted to do this and she didn't hesitate saying yes. It was amazing, but in hindsight, very stupid on both our parts. If she weren't so squeeky clean, I'd never have done it, but we were both caught up in the heat of the moment. I've been tested in order to get piece of mind and everything came back ok. Needless to say, I probably wouldn't do it again, but something came over both of us that day that I think we both actually needed. Just to be incredibly close and personal with someone you care about to help make the hurt go away.

You're talking about risk an individual is willing to take on himself.  But this discussion is about risk an individual wants to impose on impose on another individual.  I'd have to say that nobody has that right.

Oh, one more kind of risk, which I'll call "desperation risk".  With the economy in the toilet things are tough all over. So this kind of scenario is easy to imagine.  I hope this disposes of the "free choice" issue.

Him:  she needs the money bad (incorrect grammar intended).  She'll go along if I press the issue.

Her: If I don't get this $$ I can't make the rent this month.  The consequences could be catastrophic but the risk in one encounter is low.  The alternative is unpleasant for certain.  Maybe just this once...

BTW, I've really appreciated your earlier posts.  Since the general public (in or out of the hobby) knows nil about statistics, you're performing a valuable public service.

Be seeing you.

After I had been established for some time, I started really scaling back on the number of people I was seeing over a period of several months, except for a "tried and true" regular client that I had been seeing 2-4 times a week for several months.  By the time I had been seeing him for a year, and had really weaned myself down to seeing him exclusively, we went for about a year bareback until he moved across the country.  Had I been seeing anyone else, I never would have done this.  Maybe it doesn't really count in this context?  LOL

BJ
[email protected]

I'm by no means a rich man, and I wouldn't do FS sans cover for 2 reasons: #1 the afforementioned STD risk.  #2, I don't want to assume risk of being someone's baby daddy. True, condoms can fail too, but uncovered represents an unnaceptable level of risk, for ME.  YMMV


ScrimmDaddy

I can't beleve any client would ask such a thing of you.If a client asked that from me I would run not walk out the door.BBBJ is one thing but going with out for sex is totally out of the question.And guys if a girl says that comdoms is a option and you can go with out  I would leave.

Where the hell did this term ever come from?  I distinctly remember it referring to a style of riding a horse without a saddle?  It seems kind of funny to refer to unprotected sex this way?

I don't think you did anything immoral or wrong... You were for all in tense and purposes in a monogomous relationship... You were not putting any other clients at risk, and assuming he was not seeing other girls in the same fashion, plus an SO, then you made an adult decision based on thought out rational choice of accepted risk..

If he however was not being honest, or was still screwing around, then he was being irresponsible and you were taking risks with your own health, but that is your choice to make...

Basically, it was a monogamous relationship.  He had been in a non-sexual marriage for decades, and I typically go for 2 or 3 years between having a S.O., mostly because of the demands of my RL profession.  He had been a very "prolific" hobbyist and reviewer for many years before we met, but when we started seeing each other, the chemistry was all there, both intellectually and sexually.  It was terrific while it lasted, and ended before it got old, or possibly, before it got to mean more to each of us than was originally intended.

Like I said, probably does not count!  LOL

BJ, Palm Beach, Florida
[email protected]

Actually, "bare" back, as in bare skin.

BJ, Palm Beach, Florida
[email protected]

What about genital warts, or herpes, and all the other shitty viruses that have NO cures.  Also, Aids keeps mutating into different forms at such an astonishing rate, even if a cure is found for aids it will most likely be only a temporary fix.

Using protection, like most everyone her is advocating, will always be  the ONLY way to stay reasonably safe no matter how advance medical science gets.

EOM

I visited a local lady for the first time a few months ago.  She told me she dug my looks and body-I work out daily-and, following a massage, asked me "covered or not?"  Frankly, I was stunned.  This is a well-known, much-reviewed, very up-market lady in So. Cal.  (For obvious reasons, I haven't reviewed her, guys!)  For whatever reason, she wanted to do me "au natural."  She told me several times she'd never offered uncovered to any of her clients, but she just wanted to do me that way.  So, we did.  A few times.  I've been back 3-4 times.  Each time, she just goes for it.  Talk about living la vida loca!