Worried I screwed something up. Emailed veteran, well-reviewed provider who, based on reviews, provided a menu “extra” I was interested in. I requested time, and she had me do a very light screening. I thought “she should know I’m requesting that this session, and I need to know her rate to ensure I bring enough.” I know requesting menu items via email is a red flag to providers, but I read on this TER board from a provider that this topic is fine to discuss post-verification.  Just to be safe, I asked her when to make requests, and she said now via email. So I informed her of desire for menu item and… 48hr silence despite history of 2 prompt responses. Worried she’s blacklisting me / dropping me.

I highly doubt she will blacklist you, assuming you’re referring to a list she would share with other providers. It’s possible she is dropping you. You can try writing her again, and say you’re sorry if you crossed a line and ask how you can make it right. I would not follow up more than once. If she doesn’t respond, you move on. It happens.

Dealing with something similar where I requested a session through her website only about 4 days in advance….  No response at all….    Tried a few emails to follow up and still nothing…. Hard not to wonder, what’s going on, was it just the timing, or is something else wrong…

She may not be responding for a million reasons.  Most have nothing to do with you.  I would, at most, follow up once.  Say sorry if you crossed a line and wish her the best.  Tell her when she's ready to meet you are too.

I provide extras for extra. Read. It clearly states the cost of services on our TER profiles.

If there's an extended menu or the word "extras" in advertising, I usually bring that in early. I'm not pushing a boundary as it's explicitly offered in the ad...IMO. Ex: Im reaching out to see if you're available and interested in an afternoon session on January XX. My preference is a 3 hour session and I'm interested in the extended menu options.  

We are just going to be speculating unless you post exactly how the convo went down.

Thanks, but I actually did that - her TER profile (I obviously won’t mention who it is) and her website only have cost per time, not  cost for any services, and I didn’t want to bother prior clients who referenced receiving that service to inquire about the cost.

Could be that the "Extras" you asked about have turned her off to the entire encounter...Having said that----What was it you were asking her to do...Extra...??!!

You asked if you could ask and she said yes.
I'd follow up once and then move on if you don't hear back.

You shouldn’t feel like you’re bothering other clients. Most are happy to help and answer your questions. I have asked questions, and received many more. I’m always happy to answer them. Fellow clients are a great resource on TER.

As for bothering other clients you may find that unless you have a presence here information may not be as freely flowing as one would like not shouldn’t be.  
When established it changes  - have gotten most of best recommendations via DMs.