Engaging in this kind of occupation says little or nothing about your intelligence one way or the other. I'm sure the sex trades have more than their share of victims, but it also employs people who genuinely enjoy sex and servicing others. Thank God for the honest ones who know themselves like you.
Or did I come by it naturally? A reply to Bacca's post below got me thinking. The gentleman stated that he believes that women who say they are so intelligent must be basically lying because NO ONE who did this would choose to do it if they didn't have to. For the women who ARE educated, DO have degrees and COULD very well make a good living doing something else....why are we escorts?
I am a personal trainer and nutritionist. If I devoted myself to that job ONLY I could have a great career. In a few years, when I am through exploring my perverted nature I WILL devote myself to establishing it further. I CHOOSE not to at this time because I like being an escort *right now*. I LIKE being paid to have sex. Does that make me perverted? To most people it probably does. I admit, I probably am.
I have a male friend who likes to have sex with couples, mainly other men's wives while they watch. Is that perverted? I don't think so because it's what turns him on.
Thinking that every woman got into this business because she lacks the opportunity or intelligence to succeed in a different career is ridiculous. There are a lot of really intelligent women who feel the same way I do.
Why does it turn us on so much? I have no idea and I suspect that it is different for every woman. Guaranteed there are a lot of women who get into this business because it's the only avenue open to them but that is NOT the only reason, just one of them, why a woman would choose to become an escort.
~Alyssa
*Admitted Perv*
-- Modified on 1/9/2008 12:27:24 PM
My wife would say you are perverted. My pastor would say you are lost, and maybe perverted, and probably want in your pants. Society.......
I think the thing guys have a hard time understanding is how you wonderful ladies do it so successfully with the wide gamut of us you meet- fat, thin, smelly, okay smelling, good teeth, bad teeth, it is such a personal thing! When we put the shoe on the other foot and imagine doing it for pay with most any gal that showed up at the door, it is hard for us to understand.
Is it perverted to enjoy? Absolutely not and I'm so glad that many of you do! Makes the experience so much nicer for us.
Now I've seen many a rant on the board from providers who do not get off on it and don't want the guys trying to get them off. These ladies claim they provide a very enjoyable service and simply say they don't want guys licking them, guys egos invested in trying to get them off, etc, etc. I am sure they do provide a fine service! ??? well.......
I'm just glad you and the many who do enjoy it are out there Alyssa!
Even if you have a civie on the side there is a cost. Someone has to pay to host, usually the guy ends paying for the hotel room.
I can't speak from experience professionally yet, but personally I know that a lot of woman aren't just visual about men. For me, looks aren't everything about chemistry. It's personality, sense of humour and how he treats people (with respect). I'd rather be with a man that's not the best looking guy in town but that's respectful, sweet and has a sense of humour than a hot guy that's an ass.
The few woman that I do know that are providers are extremely open-minded people. Maybe that's goes along with being perverted, lol, but being open-minded about people's looks, habits and sexual fetishes is probably what makes them good at their job and also open enough to be friends with many different people, which I believe really enhances your life, inside the hobby or out.
i very much enjoy what i do. and like alyssa, if making money were my primary goal there are certainly other, better paying options out there. i have a bachelor's in anthro, my passion being research and writing. if that was a field i truly wished to pursue professionally, i live in a great area of the country for it (DC Metro) and have plenty of connections to get both feet in the door.
but clearly, money has never been a motivation for me in the choices i make in life. if i had to list any "profession", i'd say i'm a homemaker...dusting, scrubbing, cleaning toilets, doing endless laundry, cooking yummy melas for my Husband every day of the week. and, just for the sheer eroticism and perversion of it, 2 or 3 times a week other men come over and pay me to serve them sexually. i love men, i love serving, my major need and desire in life is to be pleasing. i am one of those women goldenbear describes as not wanting men trying to please me or think about making me writhe around in some sort of orgasmic bliss. this is because i am naturally submissive, and the 50/50 dynamic just does not work for me. instead i want the men who come to see me to view our time together as time when they have the freedom to let their hair down, be a bit selfish, let that primal, raw male nature out to play for a bit.
the money factor in all this just adds to the perversion for me...it makes me feel quite objectified, which is a feeling i personally find very satisfying and erotic.
so, speaking for myself only...i would have to say that yes, absolutely, i am a pervert (and proud of it), and that's why i do this.
Dear Lili:
I know that this is one of your proclivities and I was wondering when did you know that you had this psychological makeup? Also wondered that when did you know that you liked engaging in this activity and when did you know that you wanted to engage in this acitivity on a regular basis? Also what type of men turn you on and what is it about the sex that enthralls you so that you can't wait to copulate again? It seems from what you where discussing in the previous paragraphs that you like you libidinal activities almost as much as Michael Jordan had a predilection and an addiction towards basketball.
I think it is wonderful that you love your job. Regardless of your outside life and everything else you are capable of you still choose this.
Being a pervert is far from a bad thing...being lost isn't so ba either. If you are having fun, making money and living life just the way you want, who cares what anyone else thinks!
The men, of course, are all completely normal.
Normal is one of the few things I've never been accused of. As for being perverted, if doing what you do, and enjoying it makes you perverted, I'm all for it, and I'm grateful for each and every one of you. Does that make me perverted? I hope so!!!
Engaging in this kind of occupation says little or nothing about your intelligence one way or the other. I'm sure the sex trades have more than their share of victims, but it also employs people who genuinely enjoy sex and servicing others. Thank God for the honest ones who know themselves like you.
You also have to think about what someone means when they say that a lady HAS to do this job. No one HAS to. There is always a choice. If you decide to do it because the money is good and the hours are flexible that is a decision based on preference, not necessity.
It so happens both of my current regulars have college degrees and both have worked in their degreed fields. Both also decided that the traditional 9 to 5 lifestyle was not for them. Will they escort forever? Who knows? For my sake I hope they will do it for as long as they are happy and I hope that's a very long time cause' I'm gettin' some great sex from a couple of great ladies right now.
Personally I find intellect to be very sexy. I think that smarter girls are great at this job because they have options and choose to do it anyway...
-- Modified on 1/9/2008 7:58:54 PM
I think you are basically preaching to the choir with this question, since none of us would be here in the first place if we thought that there was something seriously wrong with the hobby either from the provider side or from the hobbyist side.
I guess there could be some men that think that providers are inherently (place negative label here). These same hobbyists may even think there is nothing wrong with their making use of a service if it is offered. There seem to be no limits to the rationalization capabilities of some people.
Similarly, there are probably some providers that think that hobbyists are either pathetic or morally corrupt for paying for ... um, time and companionship. They must figure that they may as well be the one taking the money from these broken souls since someone is going to do it.
I think the majority of us do it, don't feel too bad about it, and respect the women that provide quality service.
I am so sick of the seemingly growing tendency of people to label, group, and judge others for just about anything. Our society is not getting stronger or safer while this trend is on the rise. In fact, it seems to be the reverse.
I just thought of a single great sentence to summarize a healthy approach to life:
Treat others as you would like to be treated.
(Now I just hope it doesn't get co-opted by some crazed religious sect and lost in volumes of rules and judgments)
People still do things even though they know it is wrong. I think that this activity is wrong and perhaps immoral, but it fits my life at the moment and I never claimed to be perfect anyway. Besides, even if it is wrong, I have a respect for the patience and caring of women to brighten the lives of so many of us guys.
From a purely physical aspect of it, I think it's wrong, but from my own experience it has provided a lot of good things to a lot of people. It's different from drugs, alcoholism, violence, etc where nothing good comes from it and it destroys lives. In the hobby, we all seem to be very cautious and aware of what we are doing and it many guys and girls seem to have gotten great benefit from it and I think that is pretty cool. I have learned a lot about myself from being a part of it. Just my thoughts.
This is not a flame, I am honestly curious what you think is wrong or immoral from as you stated the "purely physical aspect of it"?
I appreciate the honest, respectful question...I was afraid I might get some backlash. I really had no intention of causing a stir. I guess it's my general background/personal beliefs. I have more traditional views on sexuality and really feel like it should only be within marriage. Or at least I did. I don't really know how to explain what I mean. Basically I have a more christianity-based moral view of sex, but I am really bad socially when it comes to females/relationships and really needed the intimacy and the fun escape with the stress of meeting girls at bars, etc and therefore tried this as a one-time experience. After my first experience in the hobby I found that it really provided something that I needed in my life at the present time. I hope to eventually develop the confidence to meet wonderful ladies on my own and eventually find one lady for myself. I am learning a lot about myself and at the same time I am fulfilling many fantasies that I could otherwise never enjoy. I am doing this all while I am young (in my 20's).
In no way do I look down on the hobby, hobbyists, or providers or think that any of you are immoral for participating. I very much enjoy all of the people (especially the ladies!) that I have met and wouldn't trade the experiences and think you are all wonderful people. I just mean to say that on a very basic level I feel the activity is "wrong", but that I do it anyway and enjoy it. I guess it's similar to how we all lie or speed while driving, knowing it is wrong or illegal, but don't have a second thought about doing it. I enjoy the hobby just as much as anyone, I just wanted to share my thoughts on the morality of it all. I hope my explanation makes sense and welcome any comments or questions either public or via PM.
and hopefully a better explanation.
Commenting on the "purely physical aspect of it", I meant that sex for the sake of sex is wrong to me because I view sex as more sacred (as in it should be in the confines of marriage, with someone you love) than just doing it with anyone. That's kind of the basis for why I said it was "wrong and immoral".
These are just my opinions and I don't think less of anyone for having their own views. And I have obviously begun to rebel against my own morals. I guess you could say that this is how I feel in my heart, but that my opinions and views are changing to an extent.
and I got an honest answer. I don't necessarily share your beliefs, but that is beside the point. I don't plan to try to impose my moral views on you any more than I would want you to do the same to me.
I do hope it all works out for you, and you are able to enjoy yourself without too many feelings of guilt, or that you find the "one" that makes you happy.
I am kind of realizing that while those beliefs are my background, perhaps I don't have those same beliefs anymore. That's why I had some difficulty answering. Your question made me realize that I don't really care if it's right or wrong anymore. I'm happy with what I am doing and don't feel any guilt. I just hadn't reconsidered my personal morality until now.
This is no place for a civil discussion of differences of opinion!
Can't we get back to the name calling, the blatant misinterpretation, and passive-aggressive crap that we normally see when two people disagree? What happened to my TER? 
I'll never be nice again. After all, I do have a reputation to uphold. lol
i took this class in college and guess what was a whole chapter ?
bachelor of science,
but screw working if you can work screwing (i'm not admitting i do, im just saying IF),
i'd say freak on.
-- Modified on 1/9/2008 2:30:19 PM
They don't see that women enjoy sex because women are more reluctant about it, or they think because women require pay its because they hate the sex.
Actually, reading blogs and reading books and articles written by sex workers, I would tell any one, IMHO, that most women working as escorts (not at the SW level)* would list sex as one of the two best things about the job. Money, of course, usually being the best. But many times sex is the best or second best thing.
Usually women will get into sex work for the money. My assessment is they are usually stunned that they enjoy the sex so much-- many say they have never enjoyed sex before. (Except for having it with a few total morons.) Christy Canyon says this. Even Traci Lords, in so many words, said the sex was good.
If its consensual, sex is just a very friendly act. If a woman is in charge of it and she decides, it feels very powerful for her. The variety of sex with different partners is one thing monogamy lacks. Polyamory is just more exciting. One woman here described it as being like a honeymoon. So, for the woman you have the sensations of the sex, you have the feeling power-- enhanced by the orgasm, and on top of it, you get paid, and pretty much money. There are many other things to like.
Other things make it a harsh profession for women. It can be dangerous in several ways, you run across guys who are pricks, you can get busted, get outed . . .
But I've heard it from too many women to believe that the sex isn't a supreme thrill.
*I of course except streetwalkers from this. Many times they are damaged so badly that they can't do anything else, can't find anything else to keep them alive. They are not in control, they can't be choosy, and so the sex is closer to rape.
Did it make you perverted? I can't see what providers do as being anything perverted. No, you're straightened out. Monogamy is a socially sanctioned perversion, and our society pays for it.
-- Modified on 1/9/2008 3:55:31 PM
I agree. What's perverted about having sex with beautiful, of age, willing women?
Perverted would be, paying(or even not paying) to have sex with children or animals or some other sick perversion involving violence(true violence not just kinky. I just can't see what is perverted about consensual sex between adults.
You've been a very naughty girl....now come crawl into position and get ready for your spanking....
-- Deep 'TY SIR MAY I HAVE ANOTHER' Heat
We are not perverted at all...yes we are educated and we like sex for money...I strongly believe that this is part of us, has always been and we have the opportunity to act on it...
who thought it was evil to even contemplate buying alcohol. What is perverted or immoral is a question that I think of as largely meaningless when it comes to personal, adult behavior. I prefer to ask the question whether what I am doing is helpful or hurtful to myself and other humans around me. What two (or 3 or 4) consenting adults choose to do in private may be immoral to my baptist friend, but it is also largely irrelevant to me unless it affects my life or the life of my friends.
As for why women are in this profession, I would imagine the reasons are as varied as why men choose to hobby. I'm sure there are some very good looking men who hobby even though they could hook up regularly. Just as I'm sure some women hobby as much to satisfy a sexual adventurousness as to make money. I will say this--I would imagine there are easier ways to make money than dealing with the likes of myself and my sundry fellow hobbyists. Like being in porn, I would think it would be hard to keep doing it for more than a short time if you didn't enjoy the sex and the adventure. Just a thought.
I don't have much to add to this that hasn't been said. But I will say who cares what other people think? I mean if your bold enough to be in this business, that stuf should bounce off of you IMO. Of course, every once in a while something gets to everyone, but I think a true proffesional could take it for what it is, there is plenty of good comments to go around too. Sometimes we are too positive, and sometimes a select few are too negative,
It's a slippery slope, what you don't want is people just kissing every provider's ass and not being honest; conversely you don't want a bunch of a-holes ruining the party.
I say respectful honesty is the best policy. but, that's a personal belief. In the example of the intelligence refrence, it would be ignorant to say ' All providers were to stupid to do anything else' , an example of a more constructive thread argument would be ' How have people found their providers to be? A few of the ladies I've seen have seemed of average intelligence.., an intelligent conversation is important to me'.
The point is get to the point of your constructive critism and dont make attacks.
I only agree with critism, in that, unless your seeing a provider through an agency shes only held accountable by her reviews, and positive status on TER. If you had a specific problem, with a service or mis-representation, etc, your just out money, there is no heirarchy to solve your problem. I always see things from the end of a business-model though, because I'm a marketing director
-M
-M
-- Modified on 1/9/2008 8:38:15 PM
...Can drinking too much give you blurry vision?
I get a good chuckle from all your posts, keep up the good vibes you put off. One of a kind.
b-
...my vision is far to blurry to read want you posted. The third smiley is red, the others are yellow I think... I don't know. Anyway, thank for your support....